I am an author of several comedy books, and was a lyricist back in the day. Hey, it was $50 a song! Enough for drugs.
(ROCK / FEMALE VOCAL) UNCLE DON™ PUBLISHING 2024
SOME HAPPENSTANCE
In your house, in your mind-
Through the front door up the drive!
Mangled Chevy, broken chairs-
Almost drove right up the stairs!
Crashing through, hearing screams-
Just like those hauntings in my dreams!!!!!!
It just may be some happenstance, that my car is in your house-
I’ll call the guys from triple A, and they will pull me out.
It just might be that happenstance, that I crashed into your door.
Happenstance is karma, and that’s what I’m looking for.
Picture window, smashed to bits-
I won’t pay for none of it!
Broken horn, blows so loud-
How I survived, I don’t know how!
Sirens come, police man-
Tonight I’m sleeping in the can!!!!!!
It just may be some happenstance, that I crashed into your home-
You ran into the kitchen and you coward with your phone.
It just might be that happenstance, why my wheels are on your stairs-
Happenstance is karma and it’s true, it does appear.
Crash on through, hear you scream-
Just like those hauntings in my dreams!
Broken glass, busted wood-
I’d drive you crazy if I could!
Leaking gas, TV smashed-
This crash might fix your sorry ass!!!!!!
It just may be some happenstance that my car is in your house-
I won’t pay for the window, but I might pay for the couch.
13 years have passed by since the last time that I screamed-
Happenstance is karma, or it happenstancially seems.
(BALLAD) © UNCLE DON™ PUBLISHING 2024
I AND YOU
I and you set out to climb-
This hill that’s hard and long.
We have so dearly set our minds-
With poems and brilliant songs.
Side by side we start this climb-
We climb with loving care.
At the top we both will find-
The love that’s waiting there.
My heart is beating loudly every time I say your name-
We both come from our different worlds, but we love just the same.
I and you have hills to climb before the day is through-
Side by side we make the climb, together I and you.
We climb the hill while holding hands-
We walk an even pace.
We both know and understand-
Our climb is not a race.
We both share a common goal-
And we will never stop.
We both are carried by our souls-
To make it to the top.
I and you go climbing up this hill that’s long and steep-
We both know, that up on top, there’s love for us to keep.
I and you have hills to climb before the day is through.
Hand in hand we make the climb, together I and you.
Together we will make the climb-
And up on top we both will find-
A love that we can share for all the years.
We’ll reach the top, and when we do-
My arms will then reach out to you-
As angels wash away your saddest tears.
I and you climb up this hill-
Our goal will be in sight.
We have the strength, we have the will,
We’ll walk with all our might.
Side by side we make the climb-
Our love grows as we do.
I’ll have your love and you’ll have mine-
Together, I and you.
For Amanda
(ROCK NOVELTY) © UNCLE DON™ PUBLISHING 2024
ENTITLEMENT
You can eat your dinner and never pay the bill-
You can do a skip or maybe fake that you got ill.
You can walk your pit bull dog without a single leash-
You can go and do it dawg, and never care the least.
You can squat in your apartment room and never pay the rent-
You can go and do it now, you got entitlement!
You can point a water gun and rob a local bank-
You can grab your six year old and give a little spank.
You can use the ladies room for ladies all to see-
Your big transgender penis that you use to take a pee.
You can get a car without a single penny spent-
You can go and do it now, you got entitlement!
He’s entitled-
She’s entitled-
What ya gonna do.
They entitled-
Those entitled-
You’re entitled too.
If he’s entitled-
And she’s entitled-
And no one gets denied-
You can dig entitlement until the day you die.
You can blast your music while you’re driving down the street-
You can sing and hit your brakes while dancing to the beat.
You can tint your windows to be blacker than the night-
You can weigh up heroine and keep it out of sight.
You can leave the crime although the Chevy has a dent-
You can go and do it now, you got entitlement!
You can let your dog go poop and leave it all behind-
You can walk away and then erase it from your mind.
You can dump your litter and just leave it in the way-
You can claim entitlement on each and every day.
You can can start a barroom fight and suffer no regret-
You can go and do it now, you got entitlement!
He’s entitled-
She’s entitled-
What you gonna do.
They entitled-
Those entitled-
You’re entitled too.
If he’s entitled-
And she’s entitled-
And entitlement is free-
All should have entitlement to walk and hear and see.
Selfish is entitlement that we must all endure-
The entitled are entitled to a flogging, to be sure.
You can use your garden hose when there’s a major drought-
You can see the weather guy and laugh what it’s about.
You can fire fireworks when everyone’s asleep-
You can light the biggest in the arsenal you keep.
You can put a pipe bomb in the package that you sent-
You can go an do it now, you got entitlement!
(FADE)
He’s entitled-
She’s entitled-
What ya gonna do.
They entitled-
Those entitled-
You’re entitled too.
If he’s entitled-
And she’s entitled…
(ROCK / FEMALE VOCAL) UNCLE DON™ PUBLISHING 2024
SOME HAPPENSTANCE
In your house, in your mind-
Through the front door up the drive!
Mangled Chevy, broken chairs-
Almost drove right up the stairs!
Crashing through, hearing screams-
Just like those hauntings in my dreams!!!!!!
It just may be some happenstance, that my car is in your house-
I’ll call the guys from triple A, and they will pull me out.
It just might be that happenstance, that I crashed into your door.
Happenstance is karma, and that’s what I’m looking for.
Picture window, smashed to bits-
I won’t pay for none of it!
Broken horn, blows so loud-
How I survived, I don’t know how!
Sirens come, police man-
Tonight I’m sleeping in the can!!!!!!
It just may be some happenstance, that I crashed into your home-
You ran into the kitchen and you coward with your phone.
It just might be that happenstance, why my wheels are on your stairs-
Happenstance is karma and it’s true, it does appear.
Crash on through, hear you scream-
Just like those hauntings in my dreams!
Broken glass, busted wood-
I’d drive you crazy if I could!
Leaking gas, TV smashed-
This crash might fix your sorry ass!!!!!!
It just may be some happenstance that my car is in your house-
I won’t pay for the window, but I might pay for the couch.
13 years have passed by since the last time that I screamed-
Happenstance is karma, or it happenstancially seems.
(BALLAD) © UNCLE DON™ PUBLISHING 2024
I AND YOU
I and you set out to climb-
This hill that’s hard and long.
We have so dearly set our minds-
With poems and brilliant songs.
Side by side we start this climb-
We climb with loving care.
At the top we both will find-
The love that’s waiting there.
My heart is beating loudly every time I say your name-
We both come from our different worlds, but we love just the same.
I and you have hills to climb before the day is through-
Side by side we make the climb, together I and you.
We climb the hill while holding hands-
We walk an even pace.
We both know and understand-
Our climb is not a race.
We both share a common goal-
And we will never stop.
We both are carried by our souls-
To make it to the top.
I and you go climbing up this hill that’s long and steep-
We both know, that up on top, there’s love for us to keep.
I and you have hills to climb before the day is through.
Hand in hand we make the climb, together I and you.
Together we will make the climb-
And up on top we both will find-
A love that we can share for all the years.
We’ll reach the top, and when we do-
My arms will then reach out to you-
As angels wash away your saddest tears.
I and you climb up this hill-
Our goal will be in sight.
We have the strength, we have the will,
We’ll walk with all our might.
Side by side we make the climb-
Our love grows as we do.
I’ll have your love and you’ll have mine-
Together, I and you.
For Amanda
(ROCK NOVELTY) © UNCLE DON™ PUBLISHING 2024
ENTITLEMENT
You can eat your dinner and never pay the bill-
You can do a skip or maybe fake that you got ill.
You can walk your pit bull dog without a single leash-
You can go and do it dawg, and never care the least.
You can squat in your apartment room and never pay the rent-
You can go and do it now, you got entitlement!
You can point a water gun and rob a local bank-
You can grab your six year old and give a little spank.
You can use the ladies room for ladies all to see-
Your big transgender penis that you use to take a pee.
You can get a car without a single penny spent-
You can go and do it now, you got entitlement!
He’s entitled-
She’s entitled-
What ya gonna do.
They entitled-
Those entitled-
You’re entitled too.
If he’s entitled-
And she’s entitled-
And no one gets denied-
You can dig entitlement until the day you die.
You can blast your music while you’re driving down the street-
You can sing and hit your brakes while dancing to the beat.
You can tint your windows to be blacker than the night-
You can weigh up heroine and keep it out of sight.
You can leave the crime although the Chevy has a dent-
You can go and do it now, you got entitlement!
You can let your dog go poop and leave it all behind-
You can walk away and then erase it from your mind.
You can dump your litter and just leave it in the way-
You can claim entitlement on each and every day.
You can can start a barroom fight and suffer no regret-
You can go and do it now, you got entitlement!
He’s entitled-
She’s entitled-
What you gonna do.
They entitled-
Those entitled-
You’re entitled too.
If he’s entitled-
And she’s entitled-
And entitlement is free-
All should have entitlement to walk and hear and see.
Selfish is entitlement that we must all endure-
The entitled are entitled to a flogging, to be sure.
You can use your garden hose when there’s a major drought-
You can see the weather guy and laugh what it’s about.
You can fire fireworks when everyone’s asleep-
You can light the biggest in the arsenal you keep.
You can put a pipe bomb in the package that you sent-
You can go an do it now, you got entitlement!
(FADE)
He’s entitled-
She’s entitled-
What ya gonna do.
They entitled-
Those entitled-
You’re entitled too.
If he’s entitled-
And she’s entitled…
(FOLK / COUNTRY BALLAD) ©UNCLE DON PUBLISHING 2024
NOT BROKEN
We can mend our broken hearts, and I can surely see-
Most of us is still together, healing you and me.
Most of us is strong and stand to mend our broken hearts-
Our hearts may both be fragile glass, the rest is solid parts.
Our eyes are not broken-
Our arms are not broken-
Our ears are not broken-
And our hearts are on the mend.
Fragile is your broken heart, but you can plainly see-
Many trusted working parts of high technology.
Most of us is strong and hard, to help our hearts to heal-
Hearts take time to beat again, but still most parts, we feel.
Our bodies are not broken-
Our courage is not broken-
Our vision is not broken-
Our voices are not broken-
And our hearts are on the mend.
Fragile is my broken heart, but I do mostly see-
We can both get up again, when we get on our knees.
Most of us is strong and hard, our broken hearts will mend-
Broken hearts will heal their best when we are also friends.
Our hope is not broken-
Our souls are not broken-
Our patience is not broken-
Our laughter is not broken-
Our bond is not broken-
And two hearts are on the mend.
Our thoughts are not broken-
Our minds are not broken-
Our needs are not broken-
Our wants are not broken-
Our respect is not broken-
Our blessings are not broken-
Our road is not broken-
This road is not broken-
Our love is not broken-
Nothing is broken…
Most of us is strong and hard.
Most of us is strong and hard.
We can mend our broken hearts with all that we are blessed-
We’ll have some love and patience, and let God do all the rest.
Most of us is strong and hard.
Most of us is strong and hard.
(MALE COUNTRY NOVELTY) UNCLE DON™ PUBLISHING 2024
LITTLE MAGIC LOVER TOY
Here comes Mr. Amazon-
My package has arrived.
Now it’s time to get it on- It’s great to be alive.
Little magic lover toy, please be my love tonight-
Instructions all in Cantonese, I hope I do it right.
Little magic lover toy, just do me if you please-
Why enlist a normal girl when there’s technology.
I opened up the package-
My girlfriend was inside.
Lots of plastic baggage for my lover toy to hide.
First I see a cable-
I think it’s USB.
Not a sexy thing to have when you want ecstasy.
Little magic lover toy, please be my love tonight-
After nineteen uses you exceed my former wife.
Little magic lover toy, just do me if you please-
With your sexy charger port, you’re such a plastic tease.
I cut out all the black ties-
Foam peanuts in the mix.
I think the seller’s full of lies and up to evil tricks.
Digging at the bottom-
Something round and long.
I’m thinking that I gotta screwy package that is wrong.
Little magic lover toy, please be my love tonight-
I know you’re in the box below and buried from my sight.
Little magic lover toy, my high tech way to please-
If it’s wrong, the bank will get my credit card to freeze.
Pulling out the little thing-
I looked at it with awe-
Daisy flowers colored pink, like I have never saw.
Plugging in the USB,
I’m just a normal guy.
I’ve never been a lady, but why not give it a try.
Little magic lover toy, please be my love tonight-
I’ll put you in a very gentle place that’s out of sight..
Little magic lover toy, do love me if you please-
I’ll have you boxed by midnight and returning is a breeze.
END
(SOUTHERN ROCK, MAYBE) UNCLE DON™ PUBLISHING © 2024
LONG HAIRED SPIDER WOMAN
Back when I was twenty five-
When Rock ’n’ Roll was still alive.
I’m slinging in a biker bar-
I lived upstairs, I had no car.
The thing I think of mostly though-
That spider girl who stole the show.
I never really got her name-
She’s was the long haired spider woman, just the same.
(INTENSE)
Her long black hair was hanging down to her knees-
Her crazy dreads and braids were all wrapped up in beads.
The black lace blackened up her blackened clothes-
A blackened lacy belt and some black garter hose.
She played the little record box and did her spider dance-
The biker dudes would fly to her, if given half the chance.
Back in nineteen eighty six-
That bar was full of biker chicks.
The spider woman danced so free-
The biker chicks wished they were she.
One day I got a flirty wink-
I grabbed some tips, bought her a drink.
Up the stairs, jumped in the bed-
That long haired spider spun her web.
(INTENSE)
She had a holy spirit deep inside her shining eyes-
That long haired spider woman made me hypnotized.
Looking passed the brilliance of her darkened eyes of blue-
Her power made her catch the flies, and all the slingers too.
The long haired spider woman still is well and doing fine-
She’s got a bunch of grand kids now, I think its twenty nine.
That long haired spider woman’s spinning webs at eighty three-
And if I ask, she’ll grab her cane and take a spin with me.
Marsha was the spider girl, and now I know her name-
She’s still the long haired spider woman, just the same.
REPRISE
Her long black hair was hanging down to her knees-
Her crazy dreads and braids were all wrapped up in beads.
The black lace blackened up her blackened clothes-
A blackened lacy belt and some black garter hose.
She played the little record box and did her spider dance-
The biker dudes would jump on it if given half the chance....
END
(ROCK) UNCLE DON 2014
CITY RAT
(INTRO)
I’m scratching at your heavy door-
Please open big and wide.
Your city rat is back for more-
Please let me come inside……
I’m dirty, wet and lost my hat-
I am your dirty city rat.
Please let me in and you will see-
I’m free of maggots and disease.
Yeah, I’m back, your city rat-
Been slumming through the day.
Been running from the city cats-
It’s hard to earn my pay.
Please let me in, I am so wet-
I am your dirty city rat.
Please let me in and you will see-
How good a city rat can be.
(SOFT)
My kind and gentle human child, inside your house so warm-
Remember how you came to me and saved me from the storm.
And now I’m back to love you more throughout the stormy night-
Because I am a city rat, it’s now and then I bite……
Please let me in, don’t be like that-
I am your dirty city rat.
Please let me in, I know you know-
I have no other place to go.
Yeah, I’m back, your city rat-
Been slumming everywhere.
I roam the ‘hood with dirty cats-
I found no love in there.
Please let me in, I’ll be your pet-
I am your dirty city rat.
Please let me in and you will see-
How fine a city rat can be.
(SOFT)
My kind and gentle human child, oh, how can you forget-
Remember when you carried me and then took me to your bed.
I nibbled on your fingers and you stroked me on the back.
Because I bit down hardly hard, you called it an attack……
Please let me in, no tit for tat-
I am your dirty city rat.
Please let me in and you will see-
The loving rat inside of me.
Yeah, I’m back, your city rat-
Been slumming at your door.
Rats know where the love is at-
At twenty five past four……
(CONCLUDE)
I’m scratching at your heavy door-
It’s all this rat can do.
Your love is all I’m hoping for-
Rats need some loving too.
(ROCK / FEMALE VOCAL) UNCLE DON™ PUBLISHING 2024
SOME HAPPENSTANCE
In your house, in your mind-
Through the front door up the drive!
Mangled Chevy, broken chairs-
Almost drove right up the stairs!
Crashing through, hearing screams-
Just like those hauntings in my dreams!!!!!!
It just may be some happenstance, that my car is in your house-
I’ll call the guys from triple A, and they will pull me out.
It just might be that happenstance, that I crashed into your door.
Happenstance is karma, and that’s what I’m looking for.
Picture window, smashed to bits-
I won’t pay for none of it!
Broken horn, blows so loud-
How I survived, I don’t know how!
Sirens come, police man-
Tonight I’m sleeping in the can!!!!!!
It just may be some happenstance, that I crashed into your home-
You ran into the kitchen and you coward with your phone.
It just might be that happenstance, why my wheels are on your stairs-
Happenstance is karma and it’s true, it does appear.
Crash on through, hear you scream-
Just like those hauntings in my dreams!
Broken glass, busted wood-
I’d drive you crazy if I could!
Leaking gas, TV smashed-
This crash might fix your sorry ass!!!!!!
It just may be some happenstance that my car is in your house-
I won’t pay for the window, but I might pay for the couch.
13 years have passed by since the last time that I screamed-
Happenstance is karma, or it happenstancially seems.
(BALLAD) © UNCLE DON™ PUBLISHING 2024
I AND YOU
I and you set out to climb-
This hill that’s hard and long.
We have so dearly set our minds-
With poems and brilliant songs.
Side by side we start this climb-
We climb with loving care.
At the top we both will find-
The love that’s waiting there.
My heart is beating loudly every time I say your name-
We both come from our different worlds, but we love just the same.
I and you have hills to climb before the day is through-
Side by side we make the climb, together I and you.
We climb the hill while holding hands-
We walk an even pace.
We both know and understand-
Our climb is not a race.
We both share a common goal-
And we will never stop.
We both are carried by our souls-
To make it to the top.
I and you go climbing up this hill that’s long and steep-
We both know, that up on top, there’s love for us to keep.
I and you have hills to climb before the day is through.
Hand in hand we make the climb, together I and you.
Together we will make the climb-
And up on top we both will find-
A love that we can share for all the years.
We’ll reach the top, and when we do-
My arms will then reach out to you-
As angels wash away your saddest tears.
I and you climb up this hill-
Our goal will be in sight.
We have the strength, we have the will,
We’ll walk with all our might.
Side by side we make the climb-
Our love grows as we do.
I’ll have your love and you’ll have mine-
Together, I and you.
For Amanda
(ROCK NOVELTY) © UNCLE DON™ PUBLISHING 2024
ENTITLEMENT
You can eat your dinner and never pay the bill-
You can do a skip or maybe fake that you got ill.
You can walk your pit bull dog without a single leash-
You can go and do it dawg, and never care the least.
You can squat in your apartment room and never pay the rent-
You can go and do it now, you got entitlement!
You can point a water gun and rob a local bank-
You can grab your six year old and give a little spank.
You can use the ladies room for ladies all to see-
Your big transgender penis that you use to take a pee.
You can get a car without a single penny spent-
You can go and do it now, you got entitlement!
He’s entitled-
She’s entitled-
What ya gonna do.
They entitled-
Those entitled-
You’re entitled too.
If he’s entitled-
And she’s entitled-
And no one gets denied-
You can dig entitlement until the day you die.
You can blast your music while you’re driving down the street-
You can sing and hit your brakes while dancing to the beat.
You can tint your windows to be blacker than the night-
You can weigh up heroine and keep it out of sight.
You can leave the crime although the Chevy has a dent-
You can go and do it now, you got entitlement!
You can let your dog go poop and leave it all behind-
You can walk away and then erase it from your mind.
You can dump your litter and just leave it in the way-
You can claim entitlement on each and every day.
You can can start a barroom fight and suffer no regret-
You can go and do it now, you got entitlement!
He’s entitled-
She’s entitled-
What you gonna do.
They entitled-
Those entitled-
You’re entitled too.
If he’s entitled-
And she’s entitled-
And entitlement is free-
All should have entitlement to walk and hear and see.
Selfish is entitlement that we must all endure-
The entitled are entitled to a flogging, to be sure.
You can use your garden hose when there’s a major drought-
You can see the weather guy and laugh what it’s about.
You can fire fireworks when everyone’s asleep-
You can light the biggest in the arsenal you keep.
You can put a pipe bomb in the package that you sent-
You can go an do it now, you got entitlement!
(FADE)
He’s entitled-
She’s entitled-
What ya gonna do.
They entitled-
Those entitled-
You’re entitled too.
If he’s entitled-
And she’s entitled…
(FOLK / COUNTRY BALLAD) ©UNCLE DON PUBLISHING 2024
NOT BROKEN
We can mend our broken hearts, and I can surely see-
Most of us is still together, healing you and me.
Most of us is strong and stand to mend our broken hearts-
Our hearts may both be fragile glass, the rest is solid parts.
Our eyes are not broken-
Our arms are not broken-
Our ears are not broken-
And our hearts are on the mend.
Fragile is your broken heart, but you can plainly see-
Many trusted working parts of high technology.
Most of us is strong and hard, to help our hearts to heal-
Hearts take time to beat again, but still most parts, we feel.
Our bodies are not broken-
Our courage is not broken-
Our vision is not broken-
Our voices are not broken-
And our hearts are on the mend.
Fragile is my broken heart, but I do mostly see-
We can both get up again, when we get on our knees.
Most of us is strong and hard, our broken hearts will mend-
Broken hearts will heal their best when we are also friends.
Our hope is not broken-
Our souls are not broken-
Our patience is not broken-
Our laughter is not broken-
Our bond is not broken-
And two hearts are on the mend.
Our thoughts are not broken-
Our minds are not broken-
Our needs are not broken-
Our wants are not broken-
Our respect is not broken-
Our blessings are not broken-
Our road is not broken-
This road is not broken-
Our love is not broken-
Nothing is broken…
Most of us is strong and hard.
Most of us is strong and hard.
We can mend our broken hearts with all that we are blessed-
We’ll have some love and patience, and let God do all the rest.
Most of us is strong and hard.
Most of us is strong and hard.
(MALE COUNTRY NOVELTY) UNCLE DON™ PUBLISHING 2024
LITTLE MAGIC LOVER TOY
Here comes Mr. Amazon-
My package has arrived.
Now it’s time to get it on- It’s great to be alive.
Little magic lover toy, please be my love tonight-
Instructions all in Cantonese, I hope I do it right.
Little magic lover toy, just do me if you please-
Why enlist a normal girl when there’s technology.
I opened up the package-
My girlfriend was inside.
Lots of plastic baggage for my lover toy to hide.
First I see a cable-
I think it’s USB.
Not a sexy thing to have when you want ecstasy.
Little magic lover toy, please be my love tonight-
After nineteen uses you exceed my former wife.
Little magic lover toy, just do me if you please-
With your sexy charger port, you’re such a plastic tease.
I cut out all the black ties-
Foam peanuts in the mix.
I think the seller’s full of lies and up to evil tricks.
Digging at the bottom-
Something round and long.
I’m thinking that I gotta screwy package that is wrong.
Little magic lover toy, please be my love tonight-
I know you’re in the box below and buried from my sight.
Little magic lover toy, my high tech way to please-
If it’s wrong, the bank will get my credit card to freeze.
Pulling out the little thing-
I looked at it with awe-
Daisy flowers colored pink, like I have never saw.
Plugging in the USB,
I’m just a normal guy.
I’ve never been a lady, but why not give it a try.
Little magic lover toy, please be my love tonight-
I’ll put you in a very gentle place that’s out of sight..
Little magic lover toy, do love me if you please-
I’ll have you boxed by midnight and returning is a breeze.
END
(SOUTHERN ROCK, MAYBE) UNCLE DON™ PUBLISHING © 2024
LONG HAIRED SPIDER WOMAN
Back when I was twenty five-
When Rock ’n’ Roll was still alive.
I’m slinging in a biker bar-
I lived upstairs, I had no car.
The thing I think of mostly though-
That spider girl who stole the show.
I never really got her name-
She’s was the long haired spider woman, just the same.
(INTENSE)
Her long black hair was hanging down to her knees-
Her crazy dreads and braids were all wrapped up in beads.
The black lace blackened up her blackened clothes-
A blackened lacy belt and some black garter hose.
She played the little record box and did her spider dance-
The biker dudes would fly to her, if given half the chance.
Back in nineteen eighty six-
That bar was full of biker chicks.
The spider woman danced so free-
The biker chicks wished they were she.
One day I got a flirty wink-
I grabbed some tips, bought her a drink.
Up the stairs, jumped in the bed-
That long haired spider spun her web.
(INTENSE)
She had a holy spirit deep inside her shining eyes-
That long haired spider woman made me hypnotized.
Looking passed the brilliance of her darkened eyes of blue-
Her power made her catch the flies, and all the slingers too.
The long haired spider woman still is well and doing fine-
She’s got a bunch of grand kids now, I think its twenty nine.
That long haired spider woman’s spinning webs at eighty three-
And if I ask, she’ll grab her cane and take a spin with me.
Marsha was the spider girl, and now I know her name-
She’s still the long haired spider woman, just the same.
REPRISE
Her long black hair was hanging down to her knees-
Her crazy dreads and braids were all wrapped up in beads.
The black lace blackened up her blackened clothes-
A blackened lacy belt and some black garter hose.
She played the little record box and did her spider dance-
The biker dudes would jump on it if given half the chance....
END
I am an author of several comedy books, and was a lyricist back in the day. Hey, it was $50 a song! Enough for drugs.
