Dan Wiley

PURE MATHEMATICAL LOVE (FINAL) Copyright 2026 D.D. Wiley and Jason Dean Wiley

FIRST VERSE
I'm a lonely mathematician in search of a figure to love,
And I've worked out the algorhythm for pure mathematical love.
I added up all of your virtues, took off your two knobby knees,
Then I multiplied by your I.Q and divided by your cavities.

FIRST CHORUS
Divided by your cavities, I divided by your cavities,
It's the best damn thing you've ever heard of,
Its pure mathematical love.

SECOND VERSE
I'm a lonely mathematician and you're the solution for me.
You've solved my toughest equations and I love your geometry.
I've figured out all of your angles, I know all your Xes and Ys
You're curvey instead of rectangle and you've got nice tubular thighs.

SECOND CHORUS
You've got nice tubular thighs, yes you've got nice tubular thighs
It the best damn thing you've ever heard of,
Its pure mathematical love.

THIRD VERSE
With a lonely mathematician your future looks rosey and bright.
We'll use ergonomical angles to do sexy numbers all night.
I'll use some quantum mechanics to work out your optimum load,
Then I'll some nuclear physics to make your emotions explode.

THIRD CHORUS.
Make your emotions explode, I'll make your emotions explode,
It's the best damned thing you've ever heard of,
Its pure mathematical love.

ENDING
Pure mathematical love, its pure mathematical love.
Its the sweetest thing you've ever heard of,
Its pure mathematical, not a bit problematical,
Just pure mathematical love.

SWEET ROMANCE Copyright 2026 D.D. Wiley and Jason Wiley

VERSE ONE
My heart has a mind of the ever-loving kind
And it wants me to give you a second chance.
But the mind in my head is so choked up by what you did
That that it's telling me to end our sweet romance.

CHORUS
But don't you worry about it Sweetheart.
And don't you let it make you blue.
I love you with my whole soul and my complete heart.
So my sneaking suspicions can't stop my heart from loving you.

VERSE TWO
My heart is the type that can see through all the hype
And it told me exactly what I should do.
So I would really love to renew our love tonight
If you'll promise me to me you will stay true.

CHORUS
So don't you worry about it Sweetheart.
And don't you let it make you blue.
I love you with all my soul and my complete heart
So my sneaking suspicions can't stop my heart from loving you.

BRIDGE
But please tell me why baby? why baby? why baby why? did you cheat on me?
Was it something that I said? Or something that I did? Or did you just need to run free?
I saw you leave the bar with that other man.
You left with him in his car and you almost ran.
Where did you go? What did you do?
Did you or did you not cheat on me?

ENDING
My heart has a mind of the ever-loving kind.
My heart also has a mind of the I-believe-you kind
So thank you for giving me another chance
To continue our sweet romance,
Let's continue our sweet romance.
Sweet romance.
Sweeeet sweeet romance.

I'm so happy that guy was your cousin
And you just went to visit your Uncle Jim.
Now let's continue making sweet romance.
Sweet romance.
Sweeeet sweeet romance.

My Old Ford F150 Copyright 2025 D.D. Wiley and Jason Dean Wiley
VERSE ONE
My old Ford F150 was a happy pick-up truck.
'Til you just up and left us then it went all amok.
It started drippin' ten thirTEE, brakes couldn't make it stop.
It dripped it ev'rywhere its been 'til it dripped its final drop.
CHORUS
My old pick-up was cryin '
Ain't no denyin
My old pick-up was cryin' over you.
FIRST CHORUS It was so broken-hearted, I couldn't get IT started,
SECOND CHORUS It was so broken-hearted I couldn't get 'IM started
My poor Ford 150 was cry cry cryin' over you.

VERSE TWO
The timing got so far off, didn't know where it was at.
It stuttered and it sputtered, then the tires all went flat.
When it hit a little pothole the muffler fell right off.
The rusty rad burst out a hole and the engine caught a cough.

REPEAT CHORUS (but use fourth line NUMBER 2.)

VERSE THREE
My old Ford F150 kicked the tires a week ago.
Had a rash of cancer holes I had to get 'im towed.
He never did stop loving you I swear I heard 'im say
As he chugged out his last exhaust “I'll stop loving her today”
BRIDGE (A bit softer and quieter. A more sad and serious tone) (Don't sing this line!)
Please be kind to your pick-up truck, it has feelings too.
It always waits right outside hoping to serve you.
It won't leave you like a woman might be inclined to do.
Just keep it clean, don't treat it mean,
And it'll stay true to you.

FINAL CHORUS AND ENDING WATCH THE SMALL CHANGES IN
My old pick-up was cryin,' THE CHORUSES AS THE TRUCK
Ain't no denyin', BECOMES MORE AND MORE
My old pick-up was cryin' over you. HUMANIZED
He was so broken-hearted, I couldn't get him started,
My poor old 150 was cry cry cryin',
Missin' and retryin',
Did he know that he was dyin'?
My Old Ford F150 die, die, died over you.

SHORT PAUSE
But I am still in l ove with you.