MUSIC FOR SALE

[Verse 1]
I've been on the phone since Monday morning,
"Have you tried turning it off?" — no warning
Ticket forty-seven, still unresolved,
Everybody's "aligned" but nothing's ever solved

We had a meeting just to plan the meeting,
Then a follow-up email restating the seating,
"Let's circle back," "let's take this offline,"
Translation: I would rather chew on rusty barbed wire

[Pre-Chorus]
I'm speaking fluent corporate,
I say "per my last email" when I mean "read it, dork"
I say "not the direction I'd take it,"
When what I mean is you can shove it where the sun don't—

[Chorus]
WELCOME TO TECH SUPPORT PURGATORY
Where every bug becomes a whole damn story
"We value your patience," that's a lie for sure
Please hold the line, your call's important, I'm not sure

I'm circling back, I'm looping in,
I'm biting my tongue till it's paper thin
Synergize this, leverage that,
Somebody hand me a baseball bat

[Verse 2]
I did the work, I earned my stripes,
Filed every ticket, fixed the server types
Then in walks Jerry with his veneers so white,
Got promoted 'cause he smiles just right

Now he's my boss and he don't know a router,
Texts me at nine like I'm his tech tutor,
"Hey quick question, it's not really work related,"
Buddy that's your JOB, get it validated

[Pre-Chorus]
I'm speaking fluent corporate,
"That's above my pay grade" means "get bent, sport"
I say "happy to jump on a call,"
When what I mean is I hope your Wi-Fi drops through the floor

[Chorus]
WELCOME TO TECH SUPPORT PURGATORY
Where Jerry's teeth outrank my whole life story
"We value your patience," yeah I've heard that spiel
Please hold the line while I scream into a pillow, for real

I'm circling back, I'm looping in,
Smiling so hard it might cause me a sprain
Synergize this, leverage that,
Somebody hand me — no, TWO — baseball bats

[Bridge]
(spoken, fast corporate word-salad building to a shout)
Let's take a step back, let's ideate, let's touch base,
Let's put a pin in it, let's socialize the space,
Let's循环 — no wait — let's CIRCLE, let's align,
LET'S ALL AGREE THAT EVERYTHING IS FINE!!

[Final Chorus]
WELCOME TO TECH SUPPORT PURGATORY
Jerry got the corner office,