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Im a mess

Artist: Roy China
Artist's Description
Written by Raymond Haleem Chiha on the 6th march in NY

Genre(s): Blues
Mood(s): Mournful
Style(s): Motivational
Language(s): English
Single-Use License: $113.00
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Occasionally I'd hear a whisper / reminding me of a legacy
Convincing me of my necessity / fed a tedancy for complacancy
With room to spare and time to waste / i faithfully drifted aimlessly
Zombied out for 8 years straight / i ditched the race, blatantly
No drive to turn and concentrate / tenaciously held first place only
Noone was there trailing me / though demons picked up on the chase feeding
My ego like fuel, betraying me / those demons were mine nailed to me
Racing myself to nowhere caused separation between me and my family
Listening to what the noises said was completely contradictory
My blood... their legacy / i damaged that, its a mystery
How their love persists with me / after all the pain and mysery
I caused, with any decency / id disappear but they convincing me
Its history, i wish i could hear them / out of my mind I'm not listening
I punish myself day in day out / what i think i deserve is vagrancy
No rest for the wicked inescapably / no peace of mind and its breaking me
Dont waste your time or you'll come to realise / your truth was divine, belatedly

Always I'm hearing voices / reminding me of bad choices
Now lifes monotonously pointless / i drown the noise to exploit this
Peaceful, quiet and hopeless moment / until deployment
To war between demons and spirits / only theres no hope in it
Seems along the line was a front line / and the battle cost my enjoyment
Nurturing this curse of mine / the paradigms my employment
Overdid the boisterousness / and cant reglue whats disjointed
Broken trying to work with this / ive doctored myself an appointment
The nurse knows the curse wont lift / my exorcism reappointed
Left me feeling weak and voiceless / a product of disappointment
With the last of what i got i speak / each week for a bottle of ointment
Only i dont rub it into me / i drown myself with annoyance
Because so often my heart would speak to me / but id ignore because the voices
Always knew what was good for me / until what i could have been was destroyed its
Obvious what i should have been was focused / though tokins brokin my mind wide open
From droplets heard into oceanic words / no joy no hurt only hope you'll avoid this

Theres only shame in this / im a mess
Couldnt handle reality / emotionally, im distressed
You thinking money replace my heart / you should reassess
Im wishing on a place to buy restarts / because im obsessed
With missing the person i used to be / he up'd and left
Ashamed of me, the smile you see / its supressed
The second i turn around im overwhelmed by fear which lets
the voices drag me right back down and the viscious cycle begins again


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