LYRIC FOR SALE

By Nobody

I am cat-tacular
My vernacular
Is spectacular
No day player
I’m the star
Watch me with amazement
As I squeeze into this jar

Listen to my wants
Take care of all my needs
If you didn’t hear me
I am using E.S.P.

This feast, it isn’t fancy
You really have some nerve
Those are not hors d’oeuvres
Let me inspect before you serve
I demand what I deserve

(Meow!)
(Meow!)
(Meow!)
I’m swearin’
(Meow!)
(Meow!)
(Meow!)
I am declarin’
The plans I am preparin’
You know that they are not for sharin’
If you hear vocalizin’
That is the time
For socializin’

Are you workin’?
(I won’t let you)
While you sleep
(I will inspect you)
Stroke my body
(when I let you)
You will do just what I tell you

Domesticated
But not demure
Incidents will occur
Don’t expect that I will vouch
For that thing that happened
To the couch

Don’t let your lover near me
For I am a semi feral
If he tries to touch me
I’m gonna make him sterile

Now get that cat nip flowin’
I need you to make it rain
Overload my senses
I’m about to go insane

(Meow!)
(Meow!)
(Meow!)
I’m swearin’
(Meow!)
(Meow!)
(Meow!)
I am declarin’
The plans I am preparin’
You know that they are not for sharin’
If you hear vocalizin’
That is the time
For socializin’

Are you workin’?
(I won’t let you)
While you sleep
(I will inspect you)
Stroke my body
(when I let you)
You will do just what I tell you

Curious, analytical
Emotions unpredictable
I make biscuits
But I’m not a baker
Sneak attacks
Give you the vapors

Nap times non-negotiable
Don’t expect me to be sociable
Entertain yourself
Knit me a hat
But don’t you dare disrupt my nap

Give me laxatone to chew
If you are hearin’ glug glug
Start preparin’ for my gift to you
Furballs comin’ up up

I’m not just giftin’ wads of hair
I Gave that mouse some clemency
Traitor, you just set him free?
Liar, you are dead to me!

(Meow!)
(Meow!)
(Meow!)
I’m swearin’
(Meow!)
(Meow!)
(Meow!)
I am declarin’
The plans I am preparin’
You know that they are not for sharin’
If you hear vocalizin’
That is the time
For socializin’

I show affection on my terms
And let you live here in my home
You’ve satisfied my needs
And I am not about to roam
I get you
But I don’t get you
And I know you feel the same
Now tease me with my favorite toy
And call me by my name