That Beach Sound Cartel

[Intro]

You ever kissed a fish?

No?

Well, let me tell you about my dream girls…

[Verse 1]

I saw this mermaid in a turquoise sea,
She had a voice like an angel, she was singing just for me.
Long flowing hair and a beautiful smile,
I thought I’d found heaven for a little while.

But she smelled like a wet dog, her tail was sore,
Had to flop like a seal just to get through the door.
She slapped that tail at me, when she didn’t get her wish,
And I kept asking myself, dude, have you ever kissed a fish?

[Chorus]

My Dream girls, oh, my dream girls,
Prettiest trouble in three different worlds.
One’s got a tail, one’s got a sway,
One wants a tip before she walks away.
They might be nightmares, but here’s the thing,
I still want to see what tomorrow’s dreams bring.
They ain’t perfect, but they’re sweet,
And I’ve got three good reasons to go back to sleep.

[Verse 2]

The hula girl lives on a Hawaiian shore,
Her hips went around, then they went some more.
She danced to the drums underneath the moon,
I thought I’d found paradise a little too soon.

She kept her grass skirt in the refrigerator,
Said, “Don’t touch my greens, I’ll be wearing those later!”
A gust of wind sent her lei in her face,
She spun those hips and sent me flying through space.

Those hips could crack coconuts, strong as can be,
I started wondering what they’d do to me!

[Chorus]

My Dream girls, oh, my dream girls,
Prettiest trouble in three different worlds.
One’s got a tail, one’s got a sway,
One wants a tip before she walks away.
They might be nightmares, but here’s the thing,
I still want to see what tomorrow’s dreams bring.
They ain’t perfect, but they’re sweet,
And I’ve got three good reasons to go back to sleep.

[Verse 3]

The Hooters girl in that cut-off top and orange shorts,
Twenty buffalo wings, never spilled the sauce.
She danced through the tables with a tray held high,
I thought I’d found an angel, and she caught my eye.

But her hair smelled like pickles, her sneakers were ripe,
She slammed another Red Bull to get through the night.
I started talking about us, how happy we could be,
She said, “Honey, sign the check. I’ve got followers to see!”

I left her twenty dollars, thought I’d made her day,
She picked up the receipt and just walked away.

[Bridge]

They say be careful what you wish for,
‘Cause dreams ain’t always what they seem.
Your dream girl could be your worst nightmare…
Just with better lighting, in that darn dream.

[Final Chorus]

My Dream girls, oh, my dream girls,
Prettiest trouble in three different worlds.
One’s got a tail, one’s got a sway,
One wants a tip before she walks away.

They ain’t so perfect, I’ve come to see,
But they’re still the girls of my wildest dreams.
So turn out the lights, don’t make a peep,
I’ve got three good reasons to go back to sleep.

[Finale]

One smells like fish, one’s dressed in grass,
One wants a tip and couldn’t care less.
They’ve all got troubles, that’s plain to see,
But I’m going back to sleep… they’re waiting for me.

One’s got a tail, one’s got a sway,
One took my twenty and walked away.
They might be nightmares, but here’s the thing,
I’m closing my eyes for another fling.

They ain’t so perfect, I’ve come to see,
But they’re still the girls of my wildest dreams.
So turn out the lights, don’t make a peep,
I’ve got three good reasons to go back to sleep.

[Outro]

Now, where was I?

Oh yeah…

That mermaid still owes me a kiss.

Hope she brushed her teeth.

Boys, I don’t mean to brag…
But back in the day…

Brother, I had game!

[Verse 1]

We’d walk into Confetti’s,
City Limits, or Baker’s Street,
A little Miami nightlife,
And the whole world at my feet.

I’d spot a table full of ladies,
Tell the waitress, “Buy ‘em a round,”
My buddies would start laughing,
They knew what was going down.

I’d pull up a chair beside ‘em,
Flash a smile and say my name,
And before they turned the lights out,
Brother, I had game!

[Chorus]

Brother, I had game!
I could charm ‘em with a smile,
Had a pocket full of pickup lines,
And I’d been using ‘em a while.

I could turn a head or two,
Never worried ‘bout the shame,
I wasn’t always lucky, boys,
But brother, I had game!

[Verse 2]

I carried me a lighter,
Never smoked a single day,
But when a pretty girl reached for a cigarette,
I’d light it right away.

And if I ever held her hand,
I’d scratch her palm real slow,
Funny what a little touch
Could do back then, you know!

I’d say, “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
Or, “Girl, you’ve got to be a dream,”
“Do you believe in love at first sight,
Or should I walk by again?”

Some would laugh, some would blush,
Some would call me insane,
But I’d always have another line,
‘Cause brother, I had game!

[Chorus]

Brother, I had game!
I could charm ‘em with a smile,
Had a pocket full of pickup lines,
And I’d been using ‘em a while.

I could turn a head or two,
Never worried ‘bout the shame,
I wasn’t always lucky, boys,
But brother, I had game!

[Verse 3]

Now tell me, do the young guys
Still use pickup lines today?
Or do they just swipe right and swipe left,
Texting the night away?

‘Cause back when I was single,
Those lines were all my jam,
Now I don’t know what the fellas say,
Or how they even land.

And everybody’s vaping,
That lighter’s out of style,
I wouldn’t know how to light one,
Even if I stood there for a while!

[Bridge]

I saw a pretty lady,
Said, “You got a parking ticket?
‘Cause you’ve got fine written all over you!”

She looked at me and laughed…
Said, “Sir, are you feeling all right?”

Well, hell…
That used to work!

[Finale]

I came home to my old lady,
Thought I’d give my charm a try,
Said, “Darlin’, did it hurt
When you fell down from the sky?”

She didn’t miss a heartbeat,
Just rolled those pretty eyes,
Like she’d heard that same old pickup line
About a thousand times.

I said, “Do you believe in love at first sight,
Or should I walk by again?”

She said, “Honey, I’ve heard that one for years,
And it didn’t work back then!”

[Final]

Brother, I had game!
I could charm ‘em with a smile,
Had a pocket full of pickup lines,
And I’d been using ‘em a while.

Now my hair’s a little grayer,
And the rules ain’t quite the same,
My game didn’t retire, boys…

The women just stopped playing!

[Outro]

I said, “Baby, you know I used to have game…”

She rolled those pretty eyes again.

I said, “Hell, honey… I still got it!”

She said I could prove it…

By taking out the garbage!

Brother…

I HAD game

[Verse 1]

You told me that it was over
Said I’d really let myself go
I needed to get my shit together
And in shape, from head to toe

You said that you would not be comin’ back
If I didn’t change my attitude
So after you walked out on me
I did what you told me to do

[Verse 2]

Went down to Rocky Point after you left
With a broken heart and cash you hadn’t spent, yet
You said I oughta get myself back in trim
So I crossed the border and started hittin’ the Jim

I got myself all signed up
And a brand-new workout plan
My gym membership comes with a bar tab
And a cold one in my hand

[Chorus]

I started with my Coors
Working on that six-pack
Twelve-ounce preacher curls
Super settin’ with Old Black

I’m getting stronger, getting leaner
Bar-lifting every night
Ain’t missed a single workout
Since you walked out after that fight

[Verse 3]

Two days hittin’ the Jim
When Margarita came along
Said she’d be my personal trainer
If I’d just keep going strong

She put me on a liquid diet
Said hydration was the key
Had me doing beer burpees
And doin’ doubles after three

[Verse 4]

Now I’m fasting until ten
A Tennessee Apple’s all I get
Margarita countin’ all my reps
But I ain’t seen my abs yet

Last night I had an old football dream
Woke up in my drawers, holdin’ my Old Number 7
Slept real hard from all that trainin
Hadn’t peed in bed since I was eleven

[Chorus]

I started with my Coors
Working on that six-pack
Twelve-ounce preacher curls
Super settin’ with Old Black

I’m getting stronger, getting leaner
Bar-lifting every night
Ain’t missed a single workout
Since you walked out after that fight

Checkin’ on my Ring
I saw you pokin’ around
Knockin’ on my door
But I was nowhere to be found

Guess you came to see if I’d been working out
Well, honey, you should see me now

Went down to Rocky Point after you left
Had a broken heart and cash you hadn’t spent, yet

You said I oughta get myself back in trim
So I crossed the border and started hittin’ the Jim

[Final Chorus]

I started with my Coors
Working on that six-pack
Twelve-ounce preacher curls
Super settin’ with Old Black

I’m getting stronger, getting leaner
Bar-lifting every night
Ain’t missed a single workout
Since you walked out after that fight

[Outro]

Margarita says I’m getting leaner
And honey, I reckon that’s true
I’ve been leaning on that bar so much
It’s the only thing holding me through

Still working on my Coors
Beer burpees on the floor
Feeling like ol’ Arnold
Walking out the door

So I crossed the border and started
Hittin’ the Jim

Margarita, I think I’m gonna need a spotter

Or a chaser

[Verse 1]

Bikinis in Martinis
Yep, that’s right

Bikinis in Martinis
That’s how I see ’em now

Bikinis in Martinis

Back when I was young
And when I was tan

I used to watch them girls
Through my aviator Ray-Bans

A six-pack underneath my skin
Another six-pack in the sand

Those babes walking by
hardly wearing anything

Looking through those shades
Every teenie bikini crystal clear

Figures shaking as they pass
Messing with my heart
oh dear

Bikinis in martinis
That’s the way I see ’em now

Used to chase ’em down the shoreline
But I wouldn’t remember how

Got a cigar in my other hand
A little silver in my hair

Watching bikinis in martinis
From my beach, rocking chair

[Verse 2]

Sitting at a fancy resort
Now a martini keeps me cool

The old wifey’s next to me
Watching this old fool

Can’t see a lick without my glasses
But when I raise my martini high

The sunshine hits that crystal
Brings those bikinis right before my eyes

My wife ain’t got a clue
What that cocktail glass can do

Those bikinis look so close
I can almost see right through

Bikinis in martinis
That’s the way I see ’em now

Used to chase ’em down the shoreline
But I wouldn’t remember how

Got a cigar in my other hand
A little silver in my hair

Watching bikinis in martinis
From my beach, rocking chair

[Verse 3]

Used to let the ocean water
Ripple over my six-pack

Now it puddles in my belly button
And stays in there, during my 30 minute nap

Used to turn a couple heads
Walking barefoot through the sand

Now I need a little help
Just to get up where I stand

No Cosmopolitan, no Lemon Drop
My bartender knows the ropes

A Gibson, gin, or vodka martini
For my perfect martini.... periscope

Bikinis in martinis
That’s the way I see ’em now

Used to chase ’em down the shoreline
But I wouldn’t remember how

Got a cigar in my other hand
A little silver in my hair

Watching bikinis in martinis
From my beach, rocking chair

These girls today got quite a walk
And Lord, the things they’re shakin

Reminds me of my martini
And the way I like it taken

Shaken, never stirred
That’s always been my style

Now I just sit and watch the view
With a big old foolish smile

[Verse 4]

My wife ain’t saying nothing
But I know she’s watching me

Every time I lift that glass
To get a better view of the sea

I’ve traded beer for martinis
And the surfboard for this rockin’ chair

But as long as there’s a beach
You can bet I’ll still be there

Bikinis in martinis
That’s the way I see ’em now

Used to chase ’em down the shoreline
But I wouldn’t remember how

Got a cigar in my other hand
A little silver in my hair

Watching bikinis in martinis
From my beach, rocking chair

Bikinis in martinis
That’s the way I see ’em now

Used to chase ’em down the shoreline
But I wouldn’t remember how.

Got a cigar in my other hand
A little silver in my hair

Watching bikinis in martinis
From my beach, rocking chair

Bikinis in martinis
No olives to block the view

Bikinis in martinis
And old wifey’s watching too

Bikinis in martinis
No olives to block the view

Bikinis in martinis
And old wifey’s watching too

[Verse 1]

Funny what you remember…

About the first time you kissed a girl.

I don’t remember what she was wearing,
Or what we talked about that night,
But I remember standing close to her,
Wondering if I was doing it right.

Didn’t know where to put my hands,
Didn’t know when to close my eyes,
Think our noses bumped once or twice,
But man…
that first kiss was nice.

Then came those girls with the deep red lips,
Lord, how I loved how that looks,
Until I finally kissed one,
And learned something they don’t put in books.

It smeared on her,
It smeared on me,
Didn’t taste as good as it looks…

But I didn’t mind.

I was learning.

Every kiss was different,
Every girl, every time,
And I thought I knew what sweet was…
Till strawberry started to shine.

There are kisses you remember,
Kisses you forget,
Kisses that are over
before your lips have parted yet.

Kisses that say hello,
Kisses that mean goodbye,
Kisses that leave you wondering
why you ever closed your eyes.

Some kisses you taste,
Some kisses you feel…

And some stay with you
long after they’re gone.

[Verse 2]

I’ll never forget that strawberry lip gloss,
The way it caught the light,
You could smell it before you kissed her,
And my goodness, that didn’t seem right.

Sweet and sticky,
Shining on her lips,
Made a young boy lose his mind,
I thought I’d found
the sweetest kiss
a boy could ever find.

Then somewhere along the way,
Kissing started changing.

It wasn’t always about
what was on her lips.

Sometimes it was three days apart
that felt more like a year,
And seeing her come through that doorway
was all I needed to hear.

I’d pull her close,
She’d pull me closer,
And before either one could speak…

There’s something about kissing
someone you’ve missed
that makes your knees go weak.

There are kisses you remember,
Kisses you forget,
Kisses you’ve been waiting for
since the moment that she left.

Kisses that say “I missed you,”
without saying anything,
Funny how two lips can tell you
almost everything.

Some kisses you taste,
Some kisses you feel…

And some stay with you
long after they’re gone.

[Verse 3]

Then there are those goodbye kisses,
The ones that take too long,
When somebody has to leave
but neither one can move on.

You say, “Okay, I gotta go…”
Then kiss again.

And laugh because you both know
you said that ten minutes ago.

There are kisses in the morning,
Half awake beneath the sheets,
Kisses in the kitchen,
Standing barefoot on your feet.

Stolen kisses in a hallway,
Quick ones nobody sees,
And those slow ones late at night
that bring a young man to his knees.

Funny…

When you’re young,
you think a kiss is just a kiss.

In reality,
Some kisses mean hello…

Some kisses mean forgive me…

Some kisses mean I missed you…

Some kisses mean don’t go yet…

And every once in a while…

One kiss means everything.

The kisses you really feel…

You don’t need to see.

There are kisses you remember,
Kisses you forget,
Kisses that can make you smile
all these years later yet.

But somewhere between
the first one
and the last…

Some kisses you taste…
Some kisses you feel…

And some…
you remember forever.

The kisses you really feel…

You don’t need to see.

Maybe that’s why…

we close our eyes.

Kisses…

[Verse 1]

All hell broke loose about an hour ago,
Lightning cracked and the hard rain rolled,
Desert wind had a mind of its own,
How Arizona storms always go.

Now I’m driving back home to Sedona,
Storm clouds moving on ahead,
Sun going down somewhere behind me,
Throwing fire across those rocks of red.

The highway’s shining from the rain,
The whole world looks washed and new,
Then somewhere between the clouds and stone,
Heaven starts painting up the view.

[Chorus]

There’s a rainbow falling out of Heaven,
Painting colors on those rocks of red,
Evening sun is shining from behind me,
Storm clouds rolling on ahead.

Cathedral Rock or Coffee Pot,
Snoopy standing tall,
Every time the sky picks up its brush,
I’m still in awe.

Rain and light across the desert,
Colors flowing one by one,
Watercolors in Sedona,
Painted by the setting sun.

[Verse 2]

And as I’m slowly driving home,
I think about the things I’ve seen,
The Eiffel Tower lit at night,
Paris glowing like a dream.

I’ve stood beside the Colosseum,
Felt the years inside those stones,
Seen the Rocky Mountains rising,
Snow-capped giants all alone.

I’ve driven California’s coastline,
Watched the Pacific meet the sky,
Seen those blue-green seas in Bimini,
So damn clear they fooled your eyes.

I’ve stood and watched Niagara falling,
Heard that water shake the ground,
And I wouldn’t trade a single one
Of the wonders I have found.

[Pre-Chorus]

But I’m still behind this wheel,
Still making my way home,
And those colors keep on falling
Across that red Arizona stone.

[Chorus]

There’s a rainbow falling out of Heaven,
Painting colors on those rocks of red,
Evening sun is shining from behind me,
Storm clouds rolling on ahead.

Cathedral Rock or Coffee Pot,
Snoopy standing tall,
Every time the sky picks up its brush,
I’m still in awe.

Rain and light across the desert,
Colors flowing one by one,
Watercolors in Sedona,
Painted by the setting sun.

[Verse 3]

I’ve seen this same old road before,
I’ve seen these rocks a thousand times,
I know every turn that’s coming,
Every ridge against the sky.

And I’ve seen those rainbows after storms,
More times than I could ever say,
But knowing that I’ve seen one before
Never takes the awe away.

My foot comes easy off the pedal,
And the drive becomes a crawl,
I catch myself just staring,
Like I’ve never seen it at all.

Then sooner or later it disappears,
And I keep on heading home,
With one more picture in my memory
That I know I’ll carry on.

[Bridge]

Maybe days…

Maybe weeks…

Before the red rocks get painted again.

Another storm,
Another sunset,
Another rainbow without end.

And when it happens…

I know exactly what I’ll do.

I’ll slow down…

And stare…

Like it’s the first one I ever knew.

[Final Chorus]

There’s a rainbow falling out of Heaven,
Painting colors on those rocks of red,
Evening sun is shining from behind me,
Last of the storm rolling on ahead.

Cathedral Rock or Coffee Pot,
Snoopy standing tall,
I don’t care where those colors land,
I’ll stop and watch them all.

I’ve seen Paris in the evening,
Bimini beneath the sun,
Rocky Mountains, California,
Niagara crashing down.

But here I am still staring,
Like every time’s the only one…

At watercolors in Sedona,
Painted by the setting sun.

[Outro]

Watercolors in Sedona…

Painted by the setting sun.

[Intro]

I wasn’t even from around there…

Erick was my boy from football…

I’d roll over to see him…

And somehow…

That turned into the whole damn afternoon.

[Verse 1]

Garage door open…

South Florida sun…

Me, Erick and Bernard…

Here comes everyone.

Forty-fives in our hands…

Cold as they could be…

Little bottle of Tabasco…

Sittin’ there waitin’ on me.

We’d talk about football…

Talk about the girls…

Who did what…

Who said that…

Sometimes, same old stories…

Didn’t matter if we were repeatin’…

They still made us laugh.

And every couple minutes…

Somebody came walking past.

“Yo!”

“What’s up, man?”

“Where you headed?”

“AYYY!”

[Verse 2]

Some were walking…

Some came rolling by on bikes…

Some stopped for five minutes…

Then stayed half the night.

Seemed like Erick knew everybody…

Bernard probably did…

Me?

I just showed up some afternoons…

And somehow I fit right in.

There goes Micky…

Aw hell…

Here we go…

“CHECK MICKY OUT…

HE IN HIS DIRTY DRAWERS!”

And Micky’d throw something back…

Never missed a beat…

That’s just how you talked…

On that little Hollywood street.

[Pre-Chorus]

Nobody looking for trouble…

Nobody trying to prove…

Anything to anybody…

We were just…

Groovin’.

Just…

Groovin’

[Chorus]

And the whole world passed through…

Our little driveway…

Everybody knew somebody…

Everybody had something to say.

You could keep on walking…

Or pull up a chair and stay…

The whole world passed through…

Our little driveway.

[Verse 3]

First forty-five…

We drank it cold.

Second forty-five…

Somebody got bold.

“Where’s the Tabasco?”

Hell…

I think that started with me…

Couple little drops…

Then a couple turned to three.

By the third one…

We were seasoning beer…

Like a bunch of damn fools…

With absolutely no fear.

Hotter…

Hotter…

“Step on it bro, put some more in mine…”

Everything was beautiful…

Till bathroom time.

Ooooohhhhh…

Damn.

“Tabasco!”

“I TOLD YOU!”

[Verse 4]

Then Mrs. Johnson…

Would come looking through the door…

She already knew the answer…

She’d asked a thousand times before.

“Y’all hungry?”

“YES MA’AM!”

Didn’t matter who was sitting there…

Didn’t matter who came through…

Somehow there was always enough…

For one more plate or two.

And another face would wander up…

Another story getting told…

While that Florida afternoon…

Slowly started turning gold.

[Chorus]

The whole world passed through…

Our little driveway…

Everybody knew somebody…

Everybody had something to say.

You could keep on walking…

Or pull up a chair and stay…

The whole world passed through…

Our little driveway.

[Bridge]

Funny thing is…

Nothing happened.

No fights…

No big plan…

No place we had to be.

Just Erick…

Bernard…

And me.

A garage door open…

A neighborhood going by…

And enough beers and laughter…

To carry us till sundown.

I wasn’t from there…

But nobody seemed to care.

[Final Chorus]

The whole world passed through…

Our little driveway…

“Yo, what’s up?”

Every damn day.

Some stayed a minute…

Some pulled up a chair and stayed…

The whole world passed through…

Our little driveway.

Forty-fives…

Tabasco…

Stories we’d already told…

Mrs. Johnson feeding everybody…

While the Florida sky turned gold.

Never thought much about those afternoons…

Hell, we were just killing time…

The whole world passed through…

That little driveway of ours…

And for a little while…

The whole damn world was fine.

[Outro]


The whole world passed through…

That little driveway of ours…

[Intro]

Met Dusty on a Thursday night…

Down at a bar called Diego’s…

Pacific wind coming off the water…

Neon burning through the coastal haze, mood was just right.

She had a name I couldn’t forget…

And a look that changed the weather…

We left Diego’s together…

And spent the rest of Thursday holding each other tight.

[Verse 1]

Friday came in colder…

Than California ought to be…

Had all day before Diego’s…

So I headed for the beach.

Somebody had a bonfire…

Burning against the breeze…

Cold beer, food and music…

And nowhere else to be.

Afternoon slipped into evening…

Fire dancing with the sea…

Then somewhere through the smoke and music…

Foggy walked up next to me.

[Pre-Chorus]

Pacific rolling…

Offshore wind…

Didn’t know the weather…

Was changing again.

[Chorus]

Dusty…

Under San Diego lights…

Foggy…

Rolling in with the tide…

One came out of nowhere…

One I left behind…

Two fronts I never saw coming…

On a cold California night.

Dusty…

And Foggy nights.

[Verse 2]

Foggy stayed beside me…

As the daylight disappeared…

Talking by the fire…

Passing back a couple beers.

Music getting louder…

Bonfire burning bright…

Cold Pacific air…

Couldn’t cool us down that night.

Diego’s came and went…

Dusty waiting there for me…

Foggy leaned in closer…

Said, “Come on home with me.”

Never made that Friday rendezvous…

Never made that call…

Left the fire together…

And forgot about it all.

[Verse 3]

Marine layer settling…

Gray against the dawn…

Six o’clock was coming…

We’d been up all night long.

Her mama was still sleeping…

Behind the bedroom door…

Foggy whispered, “You should go now…”

Bare feet on the floor.

She kissed me there in the hallway…

Said, “You better disappear…”

I grabbed my shoes and headed out…

Thinking I was clear.

No sound inside the house…

Just morning through the blinds…

Front door getting closer…

I never looked behind.

Then the bathroom door opened…

And there stood Dusty.

My heart damn near stopped…

Lightning without a flash…

Dusty looked at me…

Then everything crashed.

Her voice came down like thunder…

Foggy came running too…

That quiet California morning…

Turned into a storm out of the blue.

Doors opened…

Pressure rising…

No clear way on through…

Dusty woke up Foggy…

And Mother Nature woke up too.

[Final Chorus]

Dusty…

Under San Diego lights…

Foggy…

Rolling in with the tide…

Two California fronts collided…

In the early morning light…

Wasn’t May Gray…

Wasn’t June Gloom…

It got Voggy in San Diego…

Sneaking out of Foggy’s room.

Voggy…

Voggy…

San Diego