Jasmine Nuttall

It’s like I’m just
I’m just

Aghhhhhhhhhhhh
Overthinking

I want to crawl outta my skin
Cause in time it takes you to have one thought I’ve had five
So busy with the grind
My head has devoured itself
The demons are running rampant
No time to check them
When I got cheques to right
The bills are breaking my back
But that won’t stop me worrying about
The way you look at me as if I’ve betrayed you
As if I’m not doing my best
As if I should been more than I am
I know I should
I’m promise I’m doing my best
I’m sorry if it’s not enough for you
I’m sorry if you wanted more from me
But I’ve got nothing left to give
Nothing left
Broken in two
By the weight on my head the pressure of miles walked in these shoes
The same shoes my mother walked in
Tell me where it ends
When it ends
fxxx I can’t even tell where it begins anymore.
Should probably be medicated
But the last time I did that
I stopped feeling the guilt
Stopped feeling the weight of how others would feel
If I was to end it all
Cause what’s the point
Can I turn this pain into a purpose
Can I remedy this wound with wisdom
Intellectualise the inner turmoil
In the hope for some clarity
In the hope for some distance
From these old burns
And the broken record that plays
Every time I look at the disappointment on your face.

I want to crawl outta my skin
The time it takes you to have a single thought
I’ve had five
Can you tell me where I went wrong
In thinking that I could ever belong
In thinking
Do none of you think
Can non of you see
The blatant manipulation oppression
We are all living in
You look at me like I’m crazy
And maybe I am
If thinking is a crime lock me up
I’m dangerous but not to myself
Cause even though

I want to crawl outta my own skin
And I’m busy with the grind
The time it takes you to have a single thought
I’ve had five
And I see clearly through the fxxxery
and blatant destrations
Trying to pull the wool over our eyes
Not these eyes
I’ll suffer if it means see things clear
Don’t bring that fxxxing needle near me
Let me and my five thoughts be alone
It’s better to see the disappointment in your eye
or the label of crazy that’s resets between your brow
Than abandon my way of being again and again
Cause even though

I wanna crawl outta my skin
at least that experience is my own
And not dictated by a drug
Being stuffed down my throat.
Cause in the time it’s taken you to have one thought I’ve had five

And whilst I’ll never be okay
Im doing just fine.

Not over
The Thinking

I haven’t seen a friendly face in a month
Haven’t been held in over three
Though I have a phone to hold
My hands still feel cold

From we are a team to please
tell me where you where last night
From obsessed even with the seven seas in between
To left on read crying alone in bed

I wonder if we are coming to an end
Long distance isn’t supposed to be easy
But hun this is harder than cookies
you brought when you last saw me

No warmth in the messages you send me
I find myself missing us more than you
I wonder when it happen
When it changed

From we are a team to please
tell me where you where last night
From obsessed even with the seven seas in between
To left on read crying alone in bed

So tell me what we’ve become
Cause this thing we’ve got going isn’t fun
And these sleepless nights aren’t quite same
Now that you’ve upped and gone away

And as the three dot disappear without a response
I let myself float a little further away
From the hope that you might come back home and stay
Allowing myself to imagine your permanent absence

From we are a team to please
tell me where you where last night
From obsessed even with the seven seas in between
To left on read crying alone in bed

So I let you go just a little bit further
I wonder if your absence has to hurt
Could I finally get some rest
From the ache inside my chest

I’m tired baby
And something tells me you feel the same
Won’t you tell me me bye bye baby
After all it is the end