My
other and I write original songs. We have done some recording with our band at the time, the English Muffins. All lyrics and music created by the two of us. I typically write the lyrics and Doug writes the music.
Sexy Sneer
My girlfriend Sally
She got two left eyes
Huge round bottom
And thunderous thighs.
Works all night
At the DMV
Body made for lovin’
Takes good care of me
(chorus)
Well, we met at Walmart
Her poly pants lured me in
When she bent over her cart
All my thoughts turned to sin.
(bridge)
Baby, I think I love you
Honey, swing over here
Sugar, you know I need you
Yeah, give me that sexy sneer!
She got a face like a pug
Ripples when she walks
A raspy nasal voice
Skin like chicken pox.
I’m not being critical
Lord knows I ain’t no hunk
I’ve got a big beer belly
And microscopic junk.
(chorus)
Funky outro.
A Thousand Deep Cuts
I never believed in vampires
I thought that monsters didn’t exist
I met her while in Chicago.
She went straight to the top of my list.
This woman she knows how to hurt me
This woman she don’t seem to care
I can’t seem to quench her bloodlust
Till my broken heart runs dry and sucks air.
(chorus)
So take any scraps you can find
Cause I got little left to give to you
Think you’ve used me all up
With a thousand deep cuts
It’s so damn great to see you…….
In my rear view!
She liked to put me down in public
Locked her affection away at home.
Until from work I got there early
She was in bed but she wasn’t alone.
(bridge)
It’s way past time
I been towing her line
But I’m at the end of my rope
Don’t call text or mail
Just go on straight to hell
Anything related to you is a nope!
She’s happy helping you spend your money
Does her best to get rid of your friends
Can’t say a nice word about your family
Compares you to her ex-boyfriends.
So believe that the monster is real
Her disguise is beautiful and smart
Just go slow and keep up your guard
Cause there’s ice in this woman’s heart.
(chorus, last line repeated)
Sexy Sneer
My girlfriend Sally
She got two left eyes
Huge round bottom
And thunderous thighs.
Works all night
At the DMV
Body made for lovin’
Takes good care of me
(chorus)
Well, we met at Walmart
Her poly pants lured me in
When she bent over her cart
All my thoughts turned to sin.
(bridge)
Baby, I think I love you
Honey, swing over here
Sugar, you know I need you
Yeah, give me that sexy sneer!
She got a face like a pug
Ripples when she walks
A raspy nasal voice
Skin like chicken pox.
I’m not being critical
Lord knows I ain’t no hunk
I’ve got a big beer belly
And microscopic junk.
(chorus)
Funky outro.
A Thousand Deep Cuts
I never believed in vampires
I thought that monsters didn’t exist
I met her while in Chicago.
She went straight to the top of my list.
This woman she knows how to hurt me
This woman she don’t seem to care
I can’t seem to quench her bloodlust
Till my broken heart runs dry and sucks air.
(chorus)
So take any scraps you can find
Cause I got little left to give to you
Think you’ve used me all up
With a thousand deep cuts
It’s so damn great to see you…….
In my rear view!
She liked to put me down in public
Locked her affection away at home.
Until from work I got there early
She was in bed but she wasn’t alone.
(bridge)
It’s way past time
I been towing her line
But I’m at the end of my rope
Don’t call text or mail
Just go on straight to hell
Anything related to you is a nope!
She’s happy helping you spend your money
Does her best to get rid of your friends
Can’t say a nice word about your family
Compares you to her ex-boyfriends.
So believe that the monster is real
Her disguise is beautiful and smart
Just go slow and keep up your guard
Cause there’s ice in this woman’s heart.
(chorus, last line repeated)
Emotional Disease
Clouds are drifting slowly by
In her jumbled head
Coming down from solo lovin’
In her sweaty bed
Weaving through the 30 cats
Stretched out on the floor
Drinks her coffee with her pills
Heads out for the door
Bridge
High, low
Overthrow
Knife in back
You won’t know
Here or there
Nothing’s fair
Dead on feet
She don’t care
(Chorus)
She’s got an emotional disease
She’s got an emotional disease
Tortured thoughts, misguided deeds
Herself she aims to please
She’s got an emotional disease
Sick role models in the past
Create cold oatmeal mind
Crush the hope of
Healthy love to find
Bridge
Up, down
She can’t be found
Hide in a hole
Time to score
Normal’s a bore
Let’s make it hurt
(Chorus)
Peaceful Meat-A Cautionary Tale
Sometimes it’s like you don’t hear me
Some time is all that I’ve got
Sometimes you can’t stand to be near me
This time you’ll stay till you rot.
I hope the handcuffs are not painful
Believe it or not I’m not cruel
But having you’re all, at my beck and call
Makes me the king, this my rule.
(Chorus)
You realize now looking back
Right before the attack
The man, strange and shy
Can’t put your finger on why
Don’t ignore the soul that is black.
Yes you should have paid more attention
Taken focus off your damn phone
Now your face is imposed on windows and poles
And you know you’ll never see home.
Bridge
And do you think you could love me?
I can read the lies in your eyes
Stop acting like you’re above me
I’m strangely immune to your cries.
It’s now been a year in my care
Might be time to renew
Your fears, expectations laid bare
There’s no more that I need from you.
(Chorus)
Love Sponge
Let me be your love sponge
Soaking up the juice
Want to be all over you
Until you call a truce.
Like Scooby craves a snack
Like the desert begs for rain
Want to really get inside
Drink you like champagne.
Your body, it’s so beautiful
I’m digging what I see
If you’ll just let me be with you
I’ll be your sweet beef tea.
(chorus)
Love sponge…so thirsty for you
Love sponge…time to try something new
Love sponge…don’t turn off the light
Sponge of love is here baby, don’t you get uptight!
I’ve got me some techniques
On you, I’d like to try
Your challenge will be not to squirm
When I give my battle cry!
When the wild passion is over
And the afterglow sets in
We might even exchange names
Or jump back in again!
(chorus)
Picked Beets and Potted Meat
Now when it’s time to eat
You’re feeling slow and weak
I’ll share this tasty treat
Pickled beets and potted meat.
You’ve got much work to do
Don’t make me wait for you
Accomplish all your feats
Pickled beets and potted meat.
If you don’t dig hot spice
Please take this good advice
For comfort on the seat
Pickled beets and potted meat.
So slow down and enjoy
Good food for girl or boy
When you need a treat
Pickled beets and potted meat!
Pickled beets and potted meat!
Pickled beets and potted meat!
Little Taste of Hell
I’ll write a song
That’ll break your heart
Make you feel
Tear you apart
This dark empty room
That I’m living within
Can’t find my way out
Can’t pay for my sin.
(bridge)
Not likely I’ll ever see sunlight
Nor will I again breathe fresh air
You put me in here to forget me
Don’t blame you, I wouldn’t care.
My skin is on fire
I smell and draw flies
And when I scream
No one hears the cries.
(chorus)
Here I sit and I stagnate
Within this cold vinyl cell.
Won’t you stop in and visit
This fun little taste of hell.
I wear serial killer glasses
Over dark exorcist eyes
I can tell all my handlers
The most outlandish lies.
(chorus)
Here I sit and I stagnate
Within this cold vinyl cell.
Won’t you stop in and visit
This fun little taste of hell.
Said come on in, we can share
This fun little taste of hell.
Sexy Sneer
My girlfriend Sally
She got two left eyes
Huge round bottom
And thunderous thighs.
Works all night
At the DMV
Body made for lovin’
Takes good care of me
(chorus)
Well, we met at Walmart
Her poly pants lured me in
When she bent over her cart
All my thoughts turned to sin.
(bridge)
Baby, I think I love you
Honey, swing over here
Sugar, you know I need you
Yeah, give me that sexy sneer!
She got a face like a pug
Ripples when she walks
A raspy nasal voice
Skin like chicken pox.
I’m not being critical
Lord knows I ain’t no hunk
I’ve got a big beer belly
And microscopic junk.
(chorus)
Funky outro.
A Thousand Deep Cuts
I never believed in vampires
I thought that monsters didn’t exist
I met her while in Chicago.
She went straight to the top of my list.
This woman she knows how to hurt me
This woman she don’t seem to care
I can’t seem to quench her bloodlust
Till my broken heart runs dry and sucks air.
(chorus)
So take any scraps you can find
Cause I got little left to give to you
Think you’ve used me all up
With a thousand deep cuts
It’s so damn great to see you…….
In my rear view!
She liked to put me down in public
Locked her affection away at home.
Until from work I got there early
She was in bed but she wasn’t alone.
(bridge)
It’s way past time
I been towing her line
But I’m at the end of my rope
Don’t call text or mail
Just go on straight to hell
Anything related to you is a nope!
She’s happy helping you spend your money
Does her best to get rid of your friends
Can’t say a nice word about your family
Compares you to her ex-boyfriends.
So believe that the monster is real
Her disguise is beautiful and smart
Just go slow and keep up your guard
Cause there’s ice in this woman’s heart.
(chorus, last line repeated)
Emotional Disease
Clouds are drifting slowly by
In her jumbled head
Coming down from solo lovin’
In her sweaty bed
Weaving through the 30 cats
Stretched out on the floor
Drinks her coffee with her pills
Heads out for the door
Bridge
High, low
Overthrow
Knife in back
You won’t know
Here or there
Nothing’s fair
Dead on feet
She don’t care
(Chorus)
She’s got an emotional disease
She’s got an emotional disease
Tortured thoughts, misguided deeds
Herself she aims to please
She’s got an emotional disease
Sick role models in the past
Create cold oatmeal mind
Crush the hope of
Healthy love to find
Bridge
Up, down
She can’t be found
Hide in a hole
Time to score
Normal’s a bore
Let’s make it hurt
(Chorus)
Peaceful Meat-A Cautionary Tale
Sometimes it’s like you don’t hear me
Some time is all that I’ve got
Sometimes you can’t stand to be near me
This time you’ll stay till you rot.
I hope the handcuffs are not painful
Believe it or not I’m not cruel
But having you’re all, at my beck and call
Makes me the king, this my rule.
(Chorus)
You realize now looking back
Right before the attack
The man, strange and shy
Can’t put your finger on why
Don’t ignore the soul that is black.
Yes you should have paid more attention
Taken focus off your damn phone
Now your face is imposed on windows and poles
And you know you’ll never see home.
Bridge
And do you think you could love me?
I can read the lies in your eyes
Stop acting like you’re above me
I’m strangely immune to your cries.
It’s now been a year in my care
Might be time to renew
Your fears, expectations laid bare
There’s no more that I need from you.
(Chorus)
Love Sponge
Let me be your love sponge
Soaking up the juice
Want to be all over you
Until you call a truce.
Like Scooby craves a snack
Like the desert begs for rain
Want to really get inside
Drink you like champagne.
Your body, it’s so beautiful
I’m digging what I see
If you’ll just let me be with you
I’ll be your sweet beef tea.
(chorus)
Love sponge…so thirsty for you
Love sponge…time to try something new
Love sponge…don’t turn off the light
Sponge of love is here baby, don’t you get uptight!
I’ve got me some techniques
On you, I’d like to try
Your challenge will be not to squirm
When I give my battle cry!
When the wild passion is over
And the afterglow sets in
We might even exchange names
Or jump back in again!
(chorus)
My
other and I write original songs. We have done some recording with our band at the time, the English Muffins. All lyrics and music created by the two of us. I typically write the lyrics and Doug writes the music.
