MUSIC FOR SALE

Hey there, it’s me
I know you probably expected better from me
I know you tell me to eat something, to get some sleep

Stop apologizing for surviving
But I’m falling apart down here
And I don’t know how to hold all this pain

So I’m talking to you instead

I tried to stand up straight like you said I would
Tried to keep my promise, tried to be good
But heaven feels loud and the earth feels cold
And I’m breaking in places I never showed

I still reach for my phone when the nights get long
Still think I hear you when the house goes wrong
I practice your name like it’s a prayer
Just hoping somehow you’re still there

I remember the laughs, the fights, the tears
The hands that held me when I disappeared
I remember the sound that ended it all
That coffin lid closed in the final fall

I see your face in clouds and empty chairs
In grocery aisles and unanswered prayers
I smile out loud while I’m dying inside
Hear that coffin lid close every time

If this is healing, I’m learning slow
Just trying to breathe and not let go
I talk to God like He knows your face
Ask Him to take some of this weight

There’s a U-shaped hole in the middle of me
And I’m stitched together with memory
If moving forward means leaving you behind
Then I don’t know how to cross that line

I’m still here, still breathing somehow
Trying to live in the after now
I keep walking because love taught me how
Even when it hurts and it always does

I go to parties you should be throwing
Wait for your voice like it’s still coming
Your old jokes hit me out of the blue
Like the room still makes space for you

Everyone says time will fix the pain
But time just taught me how to fake okay
I carry you quiet, I carry you loud
I carry you everywhere I go now

I’m mad at the silence, mad you’re gone
Mad the world just keeps rolling on
Mad at heaven for calling you home
Then leaving me here to do this alone

So if you can hear me wherever you are
Help me survive these broken parts
Take this weight off my chest tonight
Teach me how to stay alive

Every U-shaped hole I carry with me
But love still whispers quietly
If going on doesn’t mean letting you go
Then maybe this is how I grow

I’m still here, still loving you
Still doing the best that I can do
I’ll keep breathing, I’ll see it through
Because loving you taught me how to

Oh, taught me how to
Oh, I’m still here
Still loving
Still trying to go on