MUSIC FOR SALE

The air cuts deep when I breathe in,
every step is one step less.
I can’t feel my fingers anymore,
I just assume they’re still mine.

Snow sticks to my mouth and eyelids,
cold is leaking under skin.
The body screams, the mind goes quiet,
there’s nothing left to fight within.

The heart beats once, then skips, then stalls,
losing bridges as it goes.
Between the body and myself
time crawls slowly under bones.

It feels warm, it feels so light,
I know it’s just a lie I tell.
Snow is soft, the silence sweet,
I’m falling down, I’m falling still.

It feels warm, suddenly burning,
cold no longer has a shape.
I close my eyes so very slowly,
like this ending is a gift.

Thoughts are tearing into pieces,
names dissolve and lose their sound.
Memory drifts in endless white,
like a voice that can’t be found.

I sit down just for a moment,
just to breathe, just to rest.
The body lies to the quiet mind:
you can still get up again.

My face is burning, chest is fire,
winter loosens, the world feels thin.
I know this isn’t peace or calm,
I just don’t have the strength to turn back in.

It feels warm, it feels so light,
I know this is the final lie.
The heart beats slower, wider gaps,
losing rhythm, losing time.

I called your name, the forest stayed still,
your name fell softly into snow.
If I had been less hard back then,
I wouldn’t kneel here alone.

Empty hands, the words too late,
the cabin burns with quiet blame.
If I had listened when I should,
I wouldn’t carry all this shame.