LYRIC FOR SALE

By That Beach Sound Cartel

[Verse 1]

I was five or maybe six years old,
Knee-high to a fence,
When I first saw Daddy take a chew
Didn’t make a lick of sense.
He’d tuck it down inside his cheek,
And every time I’d ask for some,
He’d just grin at me and shake his head,
And say, “No Son...
this is Dad Gum.”

[Verse 2]

Well, I looked beneath the kitchen sink
And behind the cookie jar,
Checked the pockets of his Sunday coat
And underneath maw's car.
I reckoned it was special bubble gum,
That little green can for grown-ups,
And if I ever found where Daddy hid it,
I was fixin’ to have me some,
Sho' nuff

[Chorus]

Dadgum, that Dad Gum
Had the whole damn bedroom spinning,
My knees started wobbling,
And that chaw started winning.
I turned greener than a bullfrog,
Then went stumbling down the hall—
Dadgum, that Dad Gum
Wasn’t bubble gum at all.

[Verse 3]

Then sure as shootin’, there it sat
In Daddy’s dresser drawer,
I popped the top, that wintergreen
Just made me want it more.
I pinched off more than I could chew
And tucked it in my jaw,
Then the walls took off for Amarillo
And I started hollerin' for Pa.

[Chorus]

Dadgum, that Dad Gum
Had the whole damn bedroom spinning,
My knees started wobbling,
And that tobacco started winning.
I turned greener than a bullfrog,
Then went stumbling down the hall
Dadgum, that Dad Gum
Wasn’t bubble gum at all.

[Verse 4]

Daddy found me by the bathroom door,
Sweating like all get-out,
With that can of Cope, in my hand
And snuff all in my mouth.
He folded up his arms and said,
“What in Sam Hill have you done?”
I wiped my mouth and looked at him
... “Dadgum..., your Dad gum... ain’t fun.”

[Bridge]

He tried his best to scold me,
But the laughter busted through,
Said, “You ornery little rascal,
Now what’d I tell you not to do?”
Then he picked me up and carried me
While I prayed the walls would stop
And every time he said, “I told you, no”
I’d dadgum near throw up.

[Final Chorus]

Dadgum, that Dad Gum
Had the whole damn house spinning,
My legs wouldn’t hold me,
And that tobacco kept on winning.
I turned greener than a bullfrog,
Left my supper down the hall
Dadgum, that Dad Gum
Wasn’t bubble gum at all.

[Outro]

Now whenever the fellas ask me
Why I never chew,
I tell ’em ’bout my dads gum
And what one pinch can do.
I learned two things that afternoon
While hugging that commode:
Don’t go digging through Dad’s dresser
And mind him when he tells you no.

Dadgum…

... That Dad Gum.