LYRIC FOR SALE

By Jennifer Humble

Verse 1
Diddle diddle dumpling, Vlad the Impaler
Lost his hair color for criminal behavior
They say he danced with his concubine
But that kind of dancing is a crime.

Verse 2
Ra was found hiding under Hecate's skirts
Where magical blessings remove all the dirt
And all of the slaves that they could provide
Died, divorced, beheaded, survived.

Chorus
Be a believer or be a jerk
Or be anything that knows how to twerk
Shake your hair, roll your eyes then doom scroll
And that’s how we do the dumb arse shuffle

Verse 3
King Arthur enjoyed an eerie silence
Said enough when eerie was violent
He left Lancelot holding the reins
Sir Galahad died, but whose to blame

Verse 4
And hearts beat faster for the seven dwarves
Who grew even taller than the fairy queens shorts
One day, two days, take your place
Cause battery acid is good for your face

Chorus

Verse 5
Scheherazade danced around Alfred the Great
While he alone fought the hands of fate
So the bard sang sadly and everyone cried
For they all knew the music already died