Peter K

SAMHUINN
Wi samhuin fast approaching
When people start tae dread,
The gates of hell burst open
For the festival of the dead.

Bane shanks lifts his scythe
And scrieves his words in fire,
Welcome tae this earthly plane
Or be cast upon the pyre.

Brounies and banshees come tae life
Awakened from thir fankle,
Bogles bursting fae thir tombs
And the reaper dons his mantle.

There is nae time tae fouter
The haunting must resume,
Wirracows screaming fae the shadows
And witches on thir broom.

Hackit hags wi devilish cats
Stirrin up a brew,
Tae cast an evil cantrip
On the likes eh me and you.

The lightning flash and thunder crash
Aroond this drookit eldritch place,
The warlocks give it laldy
As the Deil shows his face.

Surrounded by the newly deed
On their first trip oot fi hell,
Punishment fir thir evil deeds
Upon thum did befell.

Thieves’ crooks and conmen
Bare the pain from aw thiv stolen,
Liars, deceivers and falsifiers
Thir tongues all black and swollen.

Three days fae All Hallows Eve
To roam the earth once more,
Then back below on all souls day
In keeping with folklore.

The Deil lifts his Tassie tae toast
As the numbers begin tae swell,
On yir way my minions
And promise to give thum hell.

SLAINTE MHATH the Deil cries oot
His Tassie pressed tae his lips,
As the borders between life and death
Slowly begin tae rip.

Witches screamin in the nicht
As they fly of through the sky,
Banshees floating through the trees
Ye can hear thir wailing cry.

Goblins scurry through the nicht
Invisible and unseen,
And peelly wally ghosts
Will haunt for Halloween.

T he streets are hoachin full eh guisers
With tumshies fir a licht,
They trick or treat on Halloween
Aw lookin fir a fricht.

They’ve been dookin deep fir apples
But the bairns ir pretty fly,
They`d rather go fir candy
Or a penny fir the guy

Mony a mickle maks a muckle
And the pennies stack up high,
Ye can make yourself a fair wee pochle
Before the end is nigh.

The bairns all scunnered and haiverin
Bit gallus wi thir prize,
Then they aw see Scary Mary
They can’t believe thir eyes.

The wee yins scatter tae the winds
As Mary she wis bealin,
Sweeties scattered iverywhere
The bairns they aw start squealin.

Sittin mauchit in a bush
Fir somewhere good tae hide,
Prayin fir yir mither
Tae tak ye where ye bide.

Thirs witches flyin everywhere
You kin see thum through the cloud,
Demons runnin through the streets
And bodies in a shroud.

A braw nicht just oot guisin
Has turned intae a mare,
Bit dinny luft yer heed up
Or yell catch the witches glare.

Running ticht along the wa
Jist like a scared wee moose,
Ye niver even caught yir breath
Ti ye were back inside yer hoose.

Ye tell yer maw an da
Of the horrors thit yev seen,
Then ye lock the doors and shut the blinds
And hide fae Halloween.

Then yer keekin oot the windy
And ye see a demons claw,
It`s time tae git yer jammies on
And coorie in yer maw.

Thin the sun comes up eftir all souls day
As we bid farewell tae Samhuinn,
The deil closes the gates of hell
Till next year wi aw go again.

THE END.

I`m not going to school
I`m not going to school today
I just want to stay in my bed
My tummy hurts and my feet are sore
And I`m getting a really sore head.

My nose is runny and I have a sore throat
And I think that I`m catching the cold
But my mum just doesn’t believe me
She says hurry and do as you’re told.

It`s my first day back since the holidays
And I’ve not had this teacher before
So I`ll say nothing fits and my shoes are too tight
And I can’t even walk out the door.

My shirt is far to itchy
And I can’t seem to do up my tie
And mum looks like she’s not going to help me
As she stands there and lets out a sigh.

But I’ve got hair like a grizzly bear
It sticks up all over the place
My ponytails loose and I’ve no time for braids
And I can’t even tie my own lace.

I`m not going to school today
I have to sit next to the boys
They`re pushing and shoving and talking to much
And I can’t concentrate for the noise.

They chase us all at play time
And the boys all tug on my sleeve
We have to tell our teacher
To get them all to leave.

I`m not going to school today
I don’t like when we get gym
There’s far too much running and jumping
And I never get to win.

And then it`s Highland dancing
To the sound of a ceilidh band
We have to partner with the boys
And hold on to their hand.

They march us up then march us down
Then swing us round and round
The Gay Gordon’s and the Eight some reel
My feet don’t touch the ground.

I`m not going to school today
We never get to use the loo
We had to wait till playtime
And my face was turning blue.

My classrooms always too hot
And my face is always red
Don’t make me go to school today
Just let me stay in bed.

I`ll let you stay of school today
If you promise to go out and play
Because it`s not Monday like you thought it was
It`s Saturday today.

My uncle wears a dress
I heard my uncle talking
About his favorite dress,
And how he needs a new one
As its old and in a mess.

He says it`s frayed and tattered
And the pleats are wearing flat,
So he will need to get a new one
That goes right with his hat.

He also wears a frilly blouse
With ruffles on his sleeve,
And a great big shinny belt buckle
That makes it hard to breath.

He wears his purse around his waist
And his socks up to his knees,
They are wrapped in long black ribbons
With legs as thick as trees.

He says he needs a nice Red hat
But I’m sure it’s just a ruse,
And some new bright brass buttons
And a pair of shinny shoes.

The buttons are for his own coat
As he says it still fits snug,
And a shawl for over his shoulder
The same size as our rug.





He has a flower in his coat
And a feather in his hat,
And his great big hairy mustache
Looks like a ginger cat.

I`m worried for my uncle
If he`s wearing women’s clothes,
They just won’t suit his hairy legs
His big red beard and nose.

I’ve had to let my parents know
But dad laughs and thinks it`s a hoot,
I think we should buy him men’s shoes
And maybe a nice new suit.


Then when I saw him in his new clothes
I was sure he would look a mess
Till I saw my hairy uncle,
In his brand new highland dress.
THE END

My Aunty Has A Beard.

I have a favourite aunty
She makes me kind of feared,
Because my favourite aunty
She has a jaggy beard.

The first time that I saw it
It gave me quite a fright,
I lay in bed just wondering
It kept me up all night.

I thought it was a spider
Hanging from her face,
Or could it be a beastie
I in its hiding place.

The first time that she kissed me
I got a great big hug,
I could feel the jaggy hairs
From my aunties little bug.

The beastie tickled on my chin
It tickled on my face,
Come here to your favourite aunty
My little baby Grace.

She chased me up and down the stairs
She chased me through the house,
And the tiny tail wagging on her face
Looked like a baby mouse.

I close my bedroom door
So no one can get in,
I`m hiding from the creature
That lives on my Aunties chin.

Sometimes when she catches me
I`m paralysed with fear,
I think her little monster
would crawl inside my ear.

Mum tells me not to worry
Or my fear will take its toll,
It’s nothing to be frightened of
It`s just a hairy mole.



So nowadays I don’t get scared
When my aunty she comes in,
Because every time she kisses me
I get tickled on the chin.

I know it`s not a beastie
And now I`m not so feared,
It`s just my favourite aunty
With her little jaggy beard.
THE END.

Night Time Girl

It`s almost nine o`clock and it’s time to go to bed
So climb under your covers and rest your weary head,

Get yourself real comfy and I`ll tuck you nice and tight
And tell me of the nice things that you’ll dream about tonight,

Will you be a princes who`s dancing at the ball
With a sparkle dress and golden hair the most beautiful of all?

Or live in a fairy castle where you could be the queen
With everything so wonderful it would be just like a dream?

I want to be a mermaid and live out in the sea
And all the little fishes can come and swim with me,

We would dive among the wrecks and swim down in the hold
Surrounded by the sunken ships and all their Spanish gold,

I`d like a fluffy unicorn a pink one would be fine
We`d fly up to a rainbow and live there all the time,

Could you be a ballet dancer and star in your own show?
And you`d have to learn to dance while standing on your toe,

My boyfriend will be a singer and have his own boy band
And take me everywhere he goes and always hold my hand,

Or when you do get married will he be a movie star
And you can drive around in Hollywood in a great big limo car?

What if I’m a fashion queen I`ll have the fanciest clothes I can
And I`ll wear them at my fashion shows in Paris and Milan,

I`ll wear the nicest hats and any dress I choose
But I will need an extra bedroom just to keep my shoes,

I`d like to be a beautician do make up nails and hair
And do horror faces at Halloween to give the kids a scare,

But I like dressing in your room mum as your clothes are the best
I really look much older in you dungarees and vest,

Then I get your make up and put some on my face
And when I put your high heels on I wobble all over the place,

And when I do get older I`m going to be a nurse
So I can come and fix you if you’re feeling worse,

Maybe I`ll be a tomboy play football and climb trees
I`ll have bruises on my shins and muck all up my knees,

I think I know what we will do as your lying in your bed
Let me puff your pillow so you’ve got a comfy head,

When you wake tomorrow you can tell me of your dream
Were you a ballet dancer a princes or a queen?

So night night my sweet girl It`s time to fall asleep
But don’t forget your hopes and dreams they are there for you to keep.

THE END

Night Time Boy

It’s almost nine o’clock and its time to go to bed
So climb under your covers and rest your weary head,

Get yourself real comfy and I’ll tuck you nice and tight
And tell me of the cool things that you`ll dream about tonight,

Will you be a pilot flying way up high?
In your supersonic jet plane going through the sky,

Will you pull the ejector seat and fly out of the plane
And open up your parachute and float back down again,

Or shall you be a football player for your favourite team
Scoring all the goals and hear the fans all scream,

Or maybe be a rugby player where the ball gets kicked real high
And opponents knocked down like skittles so you can score a try,

I`d like to be an astronaut and go up into space
And fly around the galaxy in an interstellar race,

What if you’re a driver in your brand new racing car?
Winning all over the word and become a super star,

Or get yourself a back pack and go on a worldwide hike
From Timbuktu to Borneo or anywhere you like,

You could be a fireman and wear your yellow hat
Climbing up your ladder to save a stranded cat,

I think you could be a policeman patrolling on your beat
Catching all the robbers as you chase them down the street,

Or could you be a magician where your shows would all be packed
As you dazzle all the audience with your magic act,

What about a super hero how strong would you be?
And crawl about like a spider man and climb the highest tree,

I`d like to be a teacher but I would have to wear a frown
As I give my friends a row and tell them to sit down,

Or I could be the head teacher and make up my own rule
Lock the teachers in the cupboard so we could stay of school,

I`d like to be a fearless knight and I dragon I would slay
Or just to sword fence with my friends when I’m out to play,

What if I’m the an invisible man that no one else can see
I`d sneak in to the sweet shop and eat everything for free,

Or run off to the circus and be an acrobat
Or a lion tamer with a big whip and tame the wildest cat,

I could be a fearless pirate and sail of far and wide
Making up my treasure maps for all my gold to hide,

I think I know what to do as you lying in your bed
Let me puff your pillow so you`ve got a comfy head,

When you wake tomorrow you can tell me of your dream.
Were you really a super man or did you make the fans all scream,

So night night my sweet boy It’s time to fall asleep
But don’t forget your hopes and dreams they are there for you to keep.

THE END.

My classmates

Theresa Trot had a snot
Hanging from her nose
She sniffs and snorts and swallows
But Theresa never blows.

Now it’s run down past her lips
And settled on her chin
Her teeth look really shiny
When Theresa starts to grin.

She sits next to Janice McManus
Who`s bouncing around on one shoe
It looks quite a feat as she hops to her seat
As she`s stepped on a smelly dog poo.

Barbara Bell said oh what’s that smell?
As she covers her nose with her hand
And Ryan O`Brian says schools not worth trying
As his dads in a rock and roll band.

Wee Ellie Kelly she`s got a sore belly
She`s had crisps and chocolate for lunch
They were to last her till Friday but to keep her desk tidy
She sat down and ate the whole bunch.

Big Billy Tilley who`s feeling quite silly
With trousers half way up his shin
And Riley McSmiley who`s gangly and Wiley
He always wears a big grin.

There`s wee Andy Davy who’s dads in the navy
He sets every month out to sea
And a wee boy called Sonny who really looks funny
As he buzzes about like a bee.

And young Jake McPake who had a pet snake
He brought it to school once before
We hid in the back as it slid out it`s sack
And the teacher ran right out the door.

Then there`s Mary McLairy who thinks she’s a fairy
She hums and she whistles and sings
She makes a wee wish and her wand goes swish swish
And she flies on her shiny new wings.

And wee Margaret McVitie who`s hands are all sticky
From pastries and candy and cakes
She crams too much in now it`s all on her chin
And her tie is all covered in flakes.

There`s Willie McFee who can climb any tree
And he hangs from his feet like a monkey
And wee Mickey Mare who`s got really nice hair
And the girls all think he`s quite hunky.

Then wee Harry Hanson who walks like he’s dancing
He shuffles and glides in his shoes
And wee Sarah Stark she`s so scared of the dark
She still goes to the toilet in two`s.

Then young Nigel Night who insists that he`s right
When everyone knows that he`s wrong
And wee Bernie Brammer who talks with a stammer
But he says it just perfect in song.

Wee Jimmy Holder who thinks he a soldier
He marches and salutes everyone
He sits next to Molly who plays with her dolly
And sometimes he joins in for fun.

And right up the back there`s Miss Construed
She sits next to Miss Understood
They`re always causing a commotion
But both of them think they`re quite good.

Then there’s Miss Ellaneous
She wanders about everywhere
She sits next to Miss Directed
Who`s always hiding her chair.

And Miss Represented she sits on her own
She says that we don’t understand
But she`s moving real soon to the front of the room
Where Miss Guided can give her a hand.

And I`m Fiona Fiddle I sit right in the middle
I fidget and fuss as a rule
And these are my friends who sit in my class
And I think it`s the best in the school.

Scary Mary.

Scary Mary walks the streets she wanders through the park
She haunts the lanes and alleyways especially when it`s dark.

She roams the primary school corridors by night and by day
She follows all the children she whispers come and play.

You’ll feel her cold breath on your neck her heart is filled with rage.
She`s reading every word with you as you turn the page.

Don’t go in the school toilets especially on your own
As the door creeks shuts behind you and Mary starts to moan,

She`ll chase you to your classroom although you’ve only heard her cry
And the teachers won’t believe you however hard you try.

You`ll only see her if she wants to, in her black cloak and black hood
Appearing in the distance as your walking in the wood.

As she makes her way towards you, she looks feeble and so old
And then she lifts her hood up, and she makes your blood run cold.


If you go out playing and you take a shortcut home
don’t go down unlit alleys where Mary`s sure to roam.

She`ll sometimes cast a shadow you`ll sometimes hear her cry
And then you`ll hear her foot steps as if she`s walking by.

But don’t turn around to see her or listen to her cry
And if she lifts her veil up don’t look into her eye.

For Mary had no children she once lived all alone
And now she looks for boys or girls to call her very own.

Her house is old the rooms are dark the walls and floors are bare
She has a secret room for you it`s hidden up the stair.

So run home fast and don’t look back and don’t let Mary catch you
Or she`ll take you to her haunted house and that`s where she will keep you.
THE END`