Lyric Improvement

"Avoid using cliché and overused rhymes where possible. Understand/Man are frequently rhymed together. Can you replace these with lesser-used rhymes? Uncommon rhymes are more memorable and intriguing. The phrase ‘heart and soul’ is also verging on cliché."

"The chorus feels incomplete. Try experimenting with this. Possibly a six line structure, with the latter three lines matching the first in both rhythm and rhyme would work better."

"Why not use 'personification' in your opening line? Personification is a literary device which gives human characteristics to non-human objects- you can bring your objects to life! For example, in your opening verse, you state that the sky is dark. Why not say instead, “The sky weeps,”. This way you are giving the sky the ability to cry, which is a human quality. Your lyric will be so much stronger and draw your readers/ listeners in from the start!"