Kristin Parker

There was a time
I looked in the mirror and saw a lonely face
Now it’s a time
I look in the mirror and feel seen
I thought you were
A hard and quiet man,
who never wants anyone around

Words are few
Understand is high
Looks in the same direction
Think together, live together
We share a quiet love

You’re the one
Who’s happy about me being who I am
You’re the one
Who makes room for my becoming
I can see you are
Someone honest and kind
who loves in actions quietly profound

Words are few
Understand is high
Looks in the same direction
Think together, live together
We share a quiet love

Our time together - easy and bright
No fighting, no drama or dimmed light
Simple respect and understanding
I barely believe I can still give you what I see

Words are few
Understand is high
Looks in the same direction
Think together, live together
We share a quiet love

I feel all alone
Cold and bare
Nowhere to go
No difference to make
Feet padding along
Vigorously unmotivated

The Sun breaks through the clouds
And I’m clothed in a veil of light
A flicker of hope, a moment of life

Money is tight
Time’s the same
I have no idea
How long it’s been
Like this and only this
Passionately tired

The Sun breaks through the clouds
And I’m clothed in a veil of light
A flicker of hope, a moment of life

Whatever happened
How I got here
Don’t want to know
Just get out
Get back to life, real life
Find out again how to smile

The Sun breaks through the clouds
And I’m clothed in a veil of light
A flicker of hope, a moment of life

The Sun breaks through the clouds
And I’m clothed in a veil of light
A flicker of hope, a moment of life

I’m standing in the street
Since I can’t remember when
My face too hot to boil
Cheeks flushing, ears rushing
People floating by
Snowflakes drifting down
And the lantern too bright for me to see

I’m sick to my stomach
Choking on my tears
I can’t feel cold anymore
I’m just too hot inside

Icy water in my mouth
Soothing cold doesn’t reach my throat
Feet in the snow
Don’t feel nothing at all
Am I standing, am I walking?
Sensation eludes me now
Cannot trust what I see

I’m sick to my stomach
Choking on my tears
I can’t feel cold anymore
I’m just too hot inside

Too hot to breathe
Too cold to move
Too hot to die
Too cold to live

I’m sick to my stomach
Choking on my tears
I can’t feel me anymore
I’m just too hot, too hot

Warm summer breeze
Tryna wipe away my tears
First leaves half colored already
I wriggle my toes in the slippers
One last time

Tomorrow it will hit
The whirlwind of every day life
Another year has passed
And I couldn’t protect us from that
Tear falling off my chin

It’s the last day
Last day of summer
And I’m shivering already
The terror of what’s ahead
Drives me slightly mad

It was a lovely summer
The days felt long
We expanded what was possible for us
I fill the balcony pool
With shaking hands

It’s the last day
Last day of summer
And I’m shivering already
The terror of what’s ahead
Drives me slightly mad

I see the terror in your eyes
Couldn’t protect you from what scares you
Once again, have to push through
Should be happy I’ll have some time alone
But I’ll just be missing you

It’s the last day
Last day of summer
And I’m shivering already
I can see what’s ahead
And it drives me mad

Drives me mad

There was a time
when I thought of you
as a blessing in disguise,
Whatever I held dear
was linked to you and I was a mere
Sidekick in my own life

Yes, I see your tears
Yes, I see your fears
You think you lost me
Whatever you held dear
Well, you’re the one who disappeared
I had to move on or be left to rot

Don’t look at me like that
Just because you’re hurting now
You had the chance to stay
You turned it down
A grownup and a wrong decision
Learn to live with it and
Don’t look at me like that

I’m wandering the world now
Floating just like you
Still I thought at first
Still I know what I do and why
You’re swallowed by the tide
I’m floating free at last

Don’t look at me like that
Just because you’re hurting now
You had the chance to stay
You turned it down
A grownup and a wrong decision
Learn to live with it and
Don’t look at me like that

Learn to live with it and
Don’t look at me like that

I never thought
This could happen to me
A lonely life
Inside a family
Tears running down my face
I never wanted to be
Part of an endless race
I look over to you
And feel like a fool

I do the dishes
I take care of the kids
I take care of the house
And now I shall take care of my spouse?

Do better than that
Or this was the last of me
Do better than that
Or I’m right outta here

Take the kids with me
Fight life alone
Still better than waiting
For you to pick up the phone
Tired of explaining
What needs to be done and why you
I just want help
Not another thing to manage
From an immature adult

I do the dishes
I take care of the kids
I take care of the house
And now I shall take care of my spouse?

Do better than that
Or this was the last of me
Do better than that
Or I’m right outta here

Do better than that
I know that you can
Do better than that
Finally grow up man!

Do better than that
Or don’t act surprised
Do better than that
I’m at the end of my life

At the end of this life

My limbs are heavy
My throat is tight
I try to drink
But the water spills
My back hurts from lying down
Day after day and night after night

I can’t get out of bed
Although I’m trying
I can’t get out of bed
Don’t even know why I got ill
I can’t get out of bed
My body says no, no, no

I’m 35 feeling like
a hundred years or more
I juggle work on my phone
Kiddo on my arm
My head hurts from thinking, thinking
All through the day and all the night

I can’t get out of bed
Although I’m trying
I can’t get out of bed
Don’t even know why I got ill
I can’t get out of bed
My body says no, no, no

Rest would be good
Just three months, better four
I try to breathe
Everything’s stuck inside
Can’t pay for a single day
Tearing up every single day and night

I can’t get out of bed
Although I’m trying
I can’t get out of bed
Don’t even know why I got ill
I can’t get out of bed
My body says no, no, no

Body please, just shut up!

I hear the wind moving the leaves
Fall to my knees, begging please
For a few more summer days

It’s only the 8th of months
I’m shivering at my desk
And inside the cold’s turned me into a mess

I’ve got the fall wind blues
I’ve got the fall wind blues
The weather gods won’t set me free
Have to find the warmth inside me

My kids crying with anger
The enemy their jacket
I sigh, there’s nothing I can do

I’ve got the fall wind blues
I’ve got the fall wind blues
The weather gods won’t set me free
Have to find the warmth inside me

I don’t know and I don’t care
How the clouds move through the air
Just want back the sunshine on my face

I’ve got the fall wind blues
I’ve got the fall wind blues
The weather gods won’t set me free
Have to find the warmth inside me

I’ve got the fall wind blues
Fall wind blues