ALIVE
By Nikky Jain
ALIVE
“The days are so long
I can’t find a way out them
I try to put all those seconds in a song
But the hours won’t comply my mayhem
So instead I am turning the light to night
Don’t anyone dare say I ain’t right
Cause I am and I’ll always be
I wanna live, so see”
The plan is ready
It was a tough task but I’ve already
Assembled all the items I need
To pull off this one job of greed
There were easier options like
Jumping off the cliff or using a knife
I come from a normal family
So acquiring a weapon could’ve been tragedy
Doing in and out with air is no comedy
My lungs are funny
They won’t accept it’s over, it’s no more sunny
They keep bulging in and out
Even when I scream, even when I shout
I hallucinate without drugs
Who needs cosmetics when I’m a born narcissist
The life ain’t shit but existing is
I’ve tried to follow my organs
They wanted to beat and I let them
But no more promises of hopes
I‘ve been to and fro in all they ropes
No, nothing works for me
The shit is plain, no creamy, N I wanted creamy, I wanted steamy
Anything also that’s buzzing, give me, coz
“The days are so long
I can’t find a way out them
I try to put all those seconds in a song
But the hours won’t comply my mayhem
So instead I am turning the light to night
Don’t anyone dare say i ain’t right
Cause I am and I’ll always be
I wanna live, so see”
I am what I am
And no I won’t give explanations for why I am, what I am
Anyway, no one’s interested to understand
And that’s some new trend
That I can’t get
When I met the sunset
The sun said, it won’t be coming out next day
I guess time is here to play
Pills may betray
Especially when I don’t live alone and I ain’t gay
The problem is that I am poor
I can’t take no risk, and no tour
I have to go and never come back
No memories to take into my sack
No experiments to leave on rack
I am too young and there are pages
That I can turn, the lessons that I can learn
But life is a bitch n I ain’t rich
I ain’t getting a single thing that I want
No wishes to grant
Let’s see what happens after I’ll die
Will I get to meet the one who decides
I had been praying to that one on a daily basis
Must be why it took me thousand days to write this n
“The days are so long
I can’t find a way out them
I tried to put all those seconds in a song
But the hours won’t comply my mayhem
So instead I am turning the light to night
Don’t anyone dare say I ain’t right
Cause I am and I’ll always be
I wanna live, so see”
Why should I continue this vicious cycle
When I won’t get a chance to know if I am better than Michael
I can’t tell nor can I explain
How it feels to move with an invisible chain
That keeps me from doing anything, so nothing, nothing
No one is gonna read my last note
Why will they when they don’t care What I wrote
When I was alive
Not a thing will change after my suicide
It’s so scary to walk on an empty road
And when you’re on a dreamer mode, the stares explode
The only question is a bank balance, I can’t afford
I also tried to sell my soul
Is everything magical, a foul?
So, the plan is to take a hand full of sleeping pills
And cover it with whisky to get the thrills
Do your work on the terrace
So it’s easier to set the pace
Cut your wrist with a knife
And think about fxxxed up life for the last time
Then jump from the highest floor
And imagine the sky where you roar, now no more
“The days are so long
I can’t find a way out them
I tried to put all those seconds in a song
But the hours won’t comply with my mayhem
So instead I am turning the light to night
Don’t anyone dare say I ain’t right
Cause I’m and I’ll always be
I wanna live, so see”
‘The ever lasting peace
Nothing can destroy me like I destroyed my existence piece by piece
I’m conscious but it must be my soul
I left my body, no more dares to roll
That white coat suits the God
Is he gonna punish me or is he talking about shifting me to another ward
Did my acquaintances committed suicide too
How I’m able to see faces without clue?
How are you feeling? Are you alright?
No man, I don’t wanna fight
Don’t worry, you’ll have a great life
What the fxxx, I am alive!
