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A Doctor's Duty


Artist: James Johnston
Artist's Description
A physician struggles with an impossible situation when his son is diagnosed with terminal cancer before discovering his own spiritual revelation.

Genre(s): Country, Country Blues, General Christian
Mood(s): Introspective, Melancholic, Mournful
Style(s): Gospel, Inspirational
Language(s): English
Standard License:$75.00
Extended License:$200.00

A Doctor's Duty

By James Johnston
Verse
Once again, I’m looking in before this ironic reflecting pool
Somehow, I think I’m better now a revelation just became my school
Usually, this is just a formality: forearms, wrists, nails, ‘n hands
Sanitized for safety that would never have been true again

Despite wide speculation, allegation, and analogy
They claim docs thrive on ego but I could swear that wasn’t me
You see, recently it’s become quite clear to me that I’m no deity
I’ve made my way quite skillfully steeped in surgery plus philosophy

Am I a man or a medical machine?
Much depends on the stage and the movie scene
Which am I and which is more?
What are You asking of me? I’ve never stood here before

I’ve been around long enough to see and seen enough to know
That there are no good seats in this malignant horror show
Normally, I’m shielded by a coat and degree but not this one
There’s no safe place to cling to when it’s your only God-given son

Chorus
I still live in late December and you forever in early spring
I can’t help but still remember that quiet hush of your suffering


Verse
I find I’m trapped in the space between the bad and the good
And I’m thinking of things that a Dad never should
When he shows his brave face the one I taught him to wear
And when he talks up his hope it only fuels my despair

The Commandments are clear hell, they’re carved into stone
I feel their weight crush my heart but they’re not flesh and bone
I’ve been wrestling ‘round with Primum Non Nocere
Would I be doing harm or providing sanctuary?

Chorus
I still live in late December and you forever in early spring
I can’t help but still remember that quiet hush of your suffering

Verse
You can bet I’ve had a few words between me and The Man
I’ve even called into question the meaning of His grand plan
After I blasphemed enough one more sin on my head
Was there forgiveness enough for everything that I said?

I know I’m not God but I just don’t understand
And I keep going back to am I machine or a man
And now he’s all hollowed out I’m hanging there too
By my one grieving thought: “I’d trade places with you”




Bridge
In that last little instant when I kneel on the side his bed
With one hand on my heart the other caressing his sweet head
I never quite felt it this way though I always knew it was true
The final love of The Father: He lost His son too

Chorus
I still live in late December and you forever in early spring
I can’t help but still remember that quiet hush of your suffering

Outro
To my questions of self: just struggling pseudonyms
I can’t say it hurts less but we found shelter in Him
Regarding “which am I?” and “which is more?”
I finally confess: His love is more

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