Carrie Doubleyew

Is it too much to ask
To know what i had in that moment
Why years down the line
Did you open my mind
Its so pointless

You were all i could do
To pass the time
Couldn't sing couldn't dance
Couldn't make up a rhyme
So i used you
All that time, i used you

Chorus:
I can't even say
I pushed you away
Its so much worse than that
Not even an option
Were you to me
Forever ill want you back

You're priceless a gem
I'm not leaving again
The times those words were said
I even meant it once or twice
I crawled inside your head
While i crawled out of your bed

I don't want to know
The places you go
The love you share with her
I look for sadness in your eyes
I know it isn't there
I know you used to care

Chorus:
I can't even say
I pushed you away
Its so much worse than that
Not even an option
Were you to me
Forever ill want you back

Its eleventy seven
And there goes my heaven
So far back in my past
I wear my regret
Here on my lapel
Like a stupid little badge

Couldn't sing couldn't dance
Couldn't make up a rhyme
Couldn't sing couldn't dance
I'm still waiting in line

Your actions speak louder than you ever do
And baby that's why I'm dancing with you

You have all my time from morning till night
My eyes never wonder, but somethings not right

Chorus:
And then there's the card you won't even sign
Its only a word, put your name next to mine

(don't take this away we've not had our day)

Just live in the moment, soak it all up
We're here for a good time, let's drink our full cup

I'd rather fly high in the moment with you
Than make empty plans with somebody new

Two names side by side is no guarantee
That I'm choosing you and you're choosing me

Chorus:
And then there's the card you won't even sign
It's only a word, put your name next to mine

There's no hidden message, no contract or deed
It's wishes sent dearly for our friend to read

Where's the heart on your sleeve, who took it away
I felt it beat, then i felt it leave

My girls they're watching all this unfold
Tryna poison my mind, but I won't be told

Chorus:
And then there's the card you won't even sign
It's only a word, put your name next to mine

I hang onto your words more so than my own
Go along with your plans and don't check your phone

You pledge me your world in one breath with ease
But signing that card brings you to your knees

Nobody said it would be this hard
Im not tryna claim you, put your name on the card

Why you making this hard
Put your name on the card

That doorbell it just rang again
Do i have to go with them
I know they're only here to help
To bring me back round to myself
One foot first and then the next
Can i go home and take a rest

No one really forced me to
They mean so well, they really do
But they don't know the chance i take
In every street could be your face
I step outside to see it through
Eyes closed my mind it still sees you

Chorus:
Don't believe them when they say
You have to go outside today
I really should have stayed inside
Rolled over in that place i hide
Lost love there is a price to pay
But no one cancelled again today

Two years have passed but that's ok
Did i see you again today?
The time they said would heal and fix
Taunts me with its awful tricks
They made me walk an endless mile
But with my friends I wear a smile

Before you i would venture out
I never even thought about
The people i would meet and see
Before there was a you and me
One foot first and then the next
Lost love is real i try my best

Chorus:
Don't believe them when they say
You have to go outside today
I really should have stayed inside
Rolled over in that place i hide
Lost love there is a price to pay
But no one cancelled again today

There is no cause to go outside
Out there, there is no place to hide
Do i have to move away
So i don't have to see your face
Then so be it if that's the rule
The way you took my heart was cruel

Optional ending:

Eyes closed my mind it still sees you
But you just get to walk away
To live and breath another day
Unscathed i think its fair to say
Where did you put them anyway?
The pieces of my heart you slayed

You're so damn good at this
You fooled them more than twice
We squared up with no punches thrown
Don't brag you're not so wise
But that's it now they fell for it
And I'm all out of dice
How many times' a person get
To pull the wool down on those eyes
I'm waiting for that 3rd time
To prove to them you lied

Chorus:
So what he's rich, it shouldn't matter
why does that count m'lord?
He gets to ride his fortune
While I fall upon my sword

Taken in by flashy clothes
You still don't see right through him?
Someone should have tipped me off
my chances were so slim

I know aswell as you do, it might be
past my time, but still I'll wait
Whoever's first, gets to draw the line
I know my time will cometh though
I've booked my place in time
A mystery to you that place
I've been to justice town
But that was no wigged up judge
Karma brought me mine
But she won't serve your time

Chorus;
So what he's rich, it shouldn't matter
why does that count m'lord?
He gets to ride his fortune
While I fall upon my sword

Taken in by flashy clothes
You still don't see right through him
Someone should have tipped me off
my chances were so slim

I'd like to say it's all your fault
But even I submit
Those people that you laugh at now
They still would not get it
They still think you're legit
Come on no ones that thick
They might be taken in by you
Down here and that's ok
But mark my words, I still have time
I'll prove it to you one day

Lemme guess where you've gone? To see a man about a dog?
Or something else today is it? Where in your life do I fit?
Aren't you supposed to be my man?

Always something keeping you, something old someone new?
Something borrowed someone's due, knit me in wherever you can
Aren't you supposed to be my man?

Chorus:
I used to finish in first place
No contest here, I'd won the race
But that was then and this is now
Who made me an also ran

Like a little lap dog, I sit and wait, will you pick me today m'lord?
Like a service on a jury bench, I sit and wait to be called
But you're supposed to be my man


You lock them in, days in advance
Your boys your mates your fam
Can't live without those plans
Where's my text while you play out
Even they have gone to ground

Chorus:
I used to finish in first place
No contest here, I'd won the race
But that was then and this is now
Who made me an also ran?

They tell me I'm the one to blame
That even they can feel my shame
Hey girl why are you doing that?
He laughs at you behind your back
Is he supposed to be your man?

Did you buy those brand new shoes
To walk all over me
Should have saved your money babe
You're not the first you see
You showed me, you ain't no man

Chorus:
I used to finish in first place
No contest here, I'd won the race
But that was then and this is now
Who made me an also ran?

((Said in a whisper))
(Your heads been turned, it's not the first time. Try moving on first, don't mess with my mind)

Say that you love me, while you're kissing me
Disguising the words you don't really mean,
Telling your lies of where you've been
No need for that, I'm not that keen.

Dancing the same as you always do
No one would notice except us Two
Moving those hips but it don't feel the same
Where is your mind? Are you saying my name?

Chorus:
Do you wanna be here? Would you rather be free?
Are we going to argue or just disagree?
Keep changing your mind, while you enter your plea
((music pause))
No further questions your honour from me!

You say you should go, but then you stay put
Buying me gifts while we're in a rut
Cancel our date, then ask me to meet
Taking my picture so you can delete.

Cook me a meal, then let it go cold
Pour me some wine from the bottle you sold
They made you angry but it's me that you scold
Look in the mirror, your eyes are so cold.

Chorus:
Do you wanna be here? Would you rather be free?
Are we going to argue or just disagree?
Keep changing your mind, while you enter your plea
((music pause))
No further questions your honour from me!

You promise to stay but then you don't
Threaten to leave, but I know you won't
Playing your games, you're not fooling me
You're the one whose too blind to see

You had your chance, it wasn't enough
Am I coming or going, you've made it so tough
But nothing will ever make me deceive
But for your love, I will always grieve

Chorus:
Do you wanna be here? Would you rather be free?
Are we going to argue or just disagree?
Keep changing your mind, while you enter your plea
((music pause))
No further questions your honour from me!

I know I said hello first, as soon as you walked in
Rocking that new haircut, and swigging back the Gin
Shoulda put my head down, you knew your luck was in
Little did I know then, your heart I'd never win
Suddenly I'm on your arm, you made me feel all queasy
Soaking up the compliments you throw around so easy

Chorus:
I know I said hello first, I hate myself so bad
I've paid the highest price though, you took the heart I had

(Don't blame her, can't hate her, she's the one done me a favour
Don't blame her, can't hate her, she's the one done me a favour )

For months I hung on every word, so good you were at lying
I ran with all the flattery, and yes I kept on trying
I wanted to believe you, I wanted the attention
The putty in your hands I was, addicted to affection
I felt just like a princess, the places we would take
Money was no object and flashy was your trait

Chorus:
I know I said hello first, I hate myself so bad
I've paid the highest price though, you took the soul I had

(Don't blame her, can't hate her, she's the one done me a favour
Don't blame her, can't hate her, she's the one done me a favour)

And then my world it ended, came crashing down on me
You sell your lines to her now, you think there is no fee
I know there is a price to pay, I know how high the cost
I paid with my own peace of mind, I know now what I lost.
I really want to warn her now, I know he'll never alter
Just one of many fools I was, I really should've called her

(Don't blame her, can't hate her, she's the one done me a favour
Don't blame her, can't hate her, she's the one done me a favour)

But then it all comes rushing back, I'd known her all my life
That girl he's playing now, that girl who'll be his wife
I know I said hello first, but she was my best friend
It wasn't just my soul you took, for me there is no end
I know I said hello first, I hate myself so bad
I've paid the highest price though, you took the trust I had.

You insist on the facetime
Why not just phone?
Of course you wanna make sure
This girls at home!
Is this control? Maybe so!
Is this control? You wanna own?

You buy me a car
But I have my own
My pride and joy
I can't drive both
Is this control? I think so!
This is control right? You wanna own!

Chorus:
It's not about me
My heart or soul
For you this is all about the control
You take my peace
I won't let you though
I was happy before
Now there's the door
Slide on, this girl will take no more

Turning up here in the middle o'the night
Fully expecting to catch me out, right?
Judge me by your standards?
That ain't right. This is control
That ain't right, you'll never own.

Post cash through my door
It's not right you know?
Why are you doing this?
I'm not your ho
You'll never own, this is control
You'll never own, leave me alone.

Chorus:
It's not about me,
My heart or soul
For you this is all about control
You take my peace
I won't let you though
I was happy before
Now there's the door
Slide on, this girl will take no more!