PATO

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PATO

Verse 1
Someone died and somebody died again
I got the news while slowly dying at the desk
I'm stretched to death, nothing seems to mend
Nor top the daydreaming action I conjure up on my own
What can hurt more than life itself cut so short?

Verse 2
So I'd rather live it out in bars
Every night I toss all regret aside to make room on the rocks
Pour it straight, I won't taste the difference
Nor predict the pain, I'll let you go the distance

Pre-Chorus 1
But I'm just asking for a cigarette
It's not an open door, I'm not a good old friend
I've seen you around, rubbing shoulders with the crowd
And still somehow when I'm not strong enough

Chorus
I wanna feel like another one of the groupies, in the movies
Though you're just some guy singing what it means to live a life
And I soak it all up in a single stride
I think to myself fxxx is this the life?
Time's running out and I'm not closing in
Might not be much but it's already a little bit of something

Post-Chorus
I can't explain why I crave for love's delusions
The back and forth between chains of daisies and gore
All I know is I can't just imagine love anymore

Verse 3
There's no affection in the way you tell me it's all gonna be ok
The conversation of the privileged won't bring about change
Whether it's them passing away or my back pain
Another good luck and goodbye
A lesson, what for if it all simply fades?
I could've been anyone but I chose to stay
I could be anyone but I choose to do this shit again

Pre-Chorus 2
'Cause when I'm not strong enough

Chorus

Bridge
And it's so sad to believe I really liked the man
To love and to hold but too much too soon made me fold my hand
I can't be clear about how easily I let you go
I couldn't pull myself together in time so this is how I let you know

Post-Chorus x2

One of the Groupies

Verse 1
Up the stairs through the final threshold
Catching a ride to my old stronghold
I don't like to go back when I'm feeling alright
Across the border, past the river
Driving south straight to the villa
I want to renew but nothing's new

Pre-Chorus 1
And if you knew that I was leaving today
You wouldn't say I was running away
But that's what I did and that's what I do
Make you think I know what's good for me

Chorus
It's always the same kind of sad
And I'm tired of that

Verse 2
Passing time at a birthday party
The kids are playing in the garden lobby
That used to be me
Now I drag a bottle down to the poolside
Dancing around for strangers' delight
A lie's not always a lie so I won't stop lying
When I'm old, I'll atone and write a story about it
Now I'm lost and ashamed
But no one knows the truth beside me

Pre-Chorus 2
Maybe I'm already all I'm supposed to be
No more turbulence forecasted for me
As it is, as sick as it was
I can't give in without giving them all up

Chorus

Verse 3
After cheap beer and shallow confessions
Leaving my friend blowing out candles
Crossed the rain to take me back home again
Down the stairs and I'm just getting old
My words remain unsold
I check and I'm still broke and broken
It ain't new, it's just blue yet now it's open
Wide open

Chorus
It's always the same kind of sad
It's always the same kind of sad
And I've been telling my friends, I'm moving on
It's been months and I'm still moving on
It's always the same kind of sad
And I'm tired of that

Nothing's New

Verse 1
I don't wanna talk to you
I don't wanna know more than I have to
I don't know if I want you or someone else
I used to go out to find out but I only found myself
Hung up on coded reactions all too confusing for me
With very little room to mind them
Ain't it too much work to get free?

Verse 2
And shit got better but then it got worse
I know love don't come easy but nothing's really coming along
And all that "you do you" is good unless there's not much more to do
So I go home alone thinking "am i better off on my own?"

Chorus
Sometimes I just need to get over myself
Expecting to hear who I am from everyone else
Better save it for when it gets boring
Lonely does get boring yet a helping hand doesn't always help
If you don't know where it's needed
You won't grow past what you're given

Verse 3
I don't wanna talk tonight
I don't wanna fight that I'm not into the things you like and turn you on
I've done that before and didn't leave in grace or even more adored

Verse 4
And then I think to myself that maybe I'll feel better
Once I stop telling me I should do better
It's all on my resume
There's nothing left to say

Pre-Chorus
Time is, time was supposed to make this better
Bearable but it just made me rude
I'm all fear some regret and that's what I get
For outpouring the weight of self-discovery
It's time I take control of things
Stop blessing with attention everyone but me

Chorus

It Gets Boring


Latest Uploads

Verse 1
Someone died and somebody died again
I got the news while slowly dying at the desk
I'm stretched to death, nothing seems to mend
Nor top the daydreaming action I conjure up on my own
What can hurt more than life itself cut so short?

Verse 2
So I'd rather live it out in bars
Every night I toss all regret aside to make room on the rocks
Pour it straight, I won't taste the difference
Nor predict the pain, I'll let you go the distance

Pre-Chorus 1
But I'm just asking for a cigarette
It's not an open door, I'm not a good old friend
I've seen you around, rubbing shoulders with the crowd
And still somehow when I'm not strong enough

Chorus
I wanna feel like another one of the groupies, in the movies
Though you're just some guy singing what it means to live a life
And I soak it all up in a single stride
I think to myself fxxx is this the life?
Time's running out and I'm not closing in
Might not be much but it's already a little bit of something

Post-Chorus
I can't explain why I crave for love's delusions
The back and forth between chains of daisies and gore
All I know is I can't just imagine love anymore

Verse 3
There's no affection in the way you tell me it's all gonna be ok
The conversation of the privileged won't bring about change
Whether it's them passing away or my back pain
Another good luck and goodbye
A lesson, what for if it all simply fades?
I could've been anyone but I chose to stay
I could be anyone but I choose to do this shit again

Pre-Chorus 2
'Cause when I'm not strong enough

Chorus

Bridge
And it's so sad to believe I really liked the man
To love and to hold but too much too soon made me fold my hand
I can't be clear about how easily I let you go
I couldn't pull myself together in time so this is how I let you know

Post-Chorus x2

One of the Groupies

Verse 1
Up the stairs through the final threshold
Catching a ride to my old stronghold
I don't like to go back when I'm feeling alright
Across the border, past the river
Driving south straight to the villa
I want to renew but nothing's new

Pre-Chorus 1
And if you knew that I was leaving today
You wouldn't say I was running away
But that's what I did and that's what I do
Make you think I know what's good for me

Chorus
It's always the same kind of sad
And I'm tired of that

Verse 2
Passing time at a birthday party
The kids are playing in the garden lobby
That used to be me
Now I drag a bottle down to the poolside
Dancing around for strangers' delight
A lie's not always a lie so I won't stop lying
When I'm old, I'll atone and write a story about it
Now I'm lost and ashamed
But no one knows the truth beside me

Pre-Chorus 2
Maybe I'm already all I'm supposed to be
No more turbulence forecasted for me
As it is, as sick as it was
I can't give in without giving them all up

Chorus

Verse 3
After cheap beer and shallow confessions
Leaving my friend blowing out candles
Crossed the rain to take me back home again
Down the stairs and I'm just getting old
My words remain unsold
I check and I'm still broke and broken
It ain't new, it's just blue yet now it's open
Wide open

Chorus
It's always the same kind of sad
It's always the same kind of sad
And I've been telling my friends, I'm moving on
It's been months and I'm still moving on
It's always the same kind of sad
And I'm tired of that

Nothing's New

Verse 1
I don't wanna talk to you
I don't wanna know more than I have to
I don't know if I want you or someone else
I used to go out to find out but I only found myself
Hung up on coded reactions all too confusing for me
With very little room to mind them
Ain't it too much work to get free?

Verse 2
And shit got better but then it got worse
I know love don't come easy but nothing's really coming along
And all that "you do you" is good unless there's not much more to do
So I go home alone thinking "am i better off on my own?"

Chorus
Sometimes I just need to get over myself
Expecting to hear who I am from everyone else
Better save it for when it gets boring
Lonely does get boring yet a helping hand doesn't always help
If you don't know where it's needed
You won't grow past what you're given

Verse 3
I don't wanna talk tonight
I don't wanna fight that I'm not into the things you like and turn you on
I've done that before and didn't leave in grace or even more adored

Verse 4
And then I think to myself that maybe I'll feel better
Once I stop telling me I should do better
It's all on my resume
There's nothing left to say

Pre-Chorus
Time is, time was supposed to make this better
Bearable but it just made me rude
I'm all fear some regret and that's what I get
For outpouring the weight of self-discovery
It's time I take control of things
Stop blessing with attention everyone but me

Chorus

It Gets Boring

Verse 1
Am I being punished for wanting too much?
Swear I won't pursue half of it, I lack trust
Would you've had better advice if you just skipped that line?
It was always "dream baby dream cause dreaming is fine" and free
But so is the crippling belief that there will never be conviction to take me from the condition I'm in

Pre-Chorus 1
And after all my best jokes maybe it's time to call it off and laugh alone
I can't entertain this part but that's already a start for me
'Cause I put myself through, I dress myself for
But it never comes yet I'm meant to feel love for the road?

Chorus
Everyone picks up the phone
But nobody answers the way I want

Verse 2
Should I be ashamed to chase in more than one way?
It's always hard work what makes things worth
Can't I fix myself and just make it work?
Maybe you'd have better advice if I'd told you the truth?
I'm textbook anxious over playing the fool
Being the bird singing before impending doom

Pre-Chorus 1
Chorus x2

Bridge
And the worst part is I know it will only make sense until I go out at night
Still if I give in just a little bit maybe I'll trick myself into thinking it will be alright
But then in case of no immediate threat, no financial insecurity nor too much trash
I'd rather spend all day in bed

Pre-Chorus 2
And after all my best jokes maybe it's time to call it off and laugh alone
I can't entertain this part but that's already a start for me
Baby baby baby oh I put myself through, dress myself for
But it never comes yet I'm meant to feel love for the road?

Chorus x3

No Immediate Threat

Verse 1
You're gone for a week and comeback to me bitter
I really can’t help but wish you'd just leave me alone
All over again I have to pretend to be above and ahead on the road
Yet I feel like a kid when the hurt hits all grown up

Pre-Chorus
Oh these decisions I'm making may backfire some day
And I’d be a fool to believe it’s over cause you're gone
I know it follows everywhere I go
And I'm not always better off left alone
But some things are better off left untold

Chorus
I didn't care at all
Now it’s time to face the truth and it takes its toll
All I’ve ever known and all I’ve ever been
My fears, my beliefs, my love, my kin
I'm leaving, I'm leaving
Tonight

Verse 2
Good days to me were easily bound to be bad
Watching videos on how the world will burn down
And it’s all in the stars wait it’s happening now
Only way back when the rapture began
Cutting off excess and the middle man
I knew I had framed it well but missed the point
Now it's gonna take a whole lot of love to kick things off

Chorus

Bridge
If there's a cosmic truth around the turn
Just past the burn of the morning sun
I’ll be damned if I stop walking again
I’ll take it damn, I’ll take the chance

Chorus x2

My Loke, My Kin

Verse 1
I wore blue most of the times and most of the nights I didn’t sleep right
You always had a little too much
Blamed your friends and the fun or the lack thereof
On how you couldn’t keep up always postponing us so casually done
And I never asked for much
More would be too much, I needed just enough

Pre-Chorus
I thought we were one thing now I am something else
And I’m halfway better at taking care of myself

Chorus
I’m not up for discussion baby
We sat on the bar, I said I was bored
You took it too hard and I took it home
You had a picnic, I had a protest
I’m scared of dying but we're still over
I never thought this would be the end
Your friends cat calling me and jokes about only fans
All I needed was to grow up and out
Maybe I’ll see you around
Bet not, but it’s fine now

Verse 2
Now I’m talking about love, orgies and lingering depression
Just question after question after question
Letting go of the outcome while waiting for connection
I never had it with you, the conversation never went that far
Always scratching the surface never straight to the hard part so here we are

Pre-Chorus
I thought we were one thing now I want something else
And I’m halfway better at taking care of myself

Chorus

Bridge
And every now and then I think to myself
“It would've worked out if I'd just kept my head down”
It wouldn’t be as displeasing as it might seem to them
In the end we both just wanted to dance
But if I searched for more than the nights before
I'd get no sleep yet still get bored
Cause I've seen you all around
Both in and out
And all I’ve found is

Chorus

Up for Discussion

Verse 1
Ask me what you want and I’ll explain it
Say what you mean unless it means to erase me
Yet lately you’ve been abusing your right to it, triggering my mind
You’re free to express, I’m free to neglect
Your thoughts on what makes a woman or a man
By tonight I don’t expect you to learn
Kiss me gently, I’ll be happily a blur
And every time I think that’s ok

Pre-Chorus
They scream from their cars all the shit they’ve learned
Justified at dinners by friends they’d hunt and I’m paralyzed
I’m asked if I’m ok or want to walk it off
Like it didn’t upset me much
Well it upsets me just enough

Chorus 1
And I don’t want to hear it’s not as bad in here
Being who I am and knowing how it was
I don’t want to live like you never did
Knowing that my love could throw me to the curb
And I wish I’d feel perfectly good about it
But I’m angry as fxxx and I don’t want to talk about it
Wish I’d feel perfectly good about it but I’m angry as fxxx

Bridge
So I go back to the moments when I had you in my arms
Unaware of the people claiming freedom from my cause
I’m at an all-time loss to see that you just live despite it
Asking why I’m cold between your legs
If you knew what it’s like you would never forget

And now I know this much is true
No matter what I do I can’t make you love you

Chorus 2
So I don’t want to hear it’s not as bad in here
Being who I am and knowing how it was
I don’t want to live like you never will
Knowing who I love could throw me to the curb
And you wish I’d feel perfectly good about it
Well I don’t, I am angry as fxxx and I want to talk about it
Wish I’d feel perfectly good about it but I’m angry as fxxx

I Don't Want to Hear

Verse 1
It gets comfortable and you don’t even notice
To grow inside the lines, the rock hanging over your head
The guillotine among the desks and women trying to present without
Any interruptions from the men who are devoted to the myths
Of merit and grinding ‘til you bleed and meet the maker of a thousand million acres of nothing
Well, they used to be something

Pre-Chorus
Now they're scorched and you see
How every good decision is just piling up to twenty who don’t care nor give a damn
So you try and be funny, make it lighter, sweet like honey
Break the greyscale so they notice you're there
But you’re hardly rewarded for making them aware

(And I have)

Chorus x2
Dreams of setting suits on fire
And all I’ve ever known going down with it
Tried to close the gap and make them laugh ‘til their bellies ached
But what once made me happy now drives me insane

Verse 2
It’s all inside your head, you’re doing the best
Here’s a couple hundred more for your self-worth
But still I get out feeling so down
Purpose is the prize, the gleam in your eyes
Sponsored by who asks you to overgive and lie about wanting more
They say "it'd be best to let it be"

Pre-Chorus
But what’s the point in knowing why it burns
When you don't put out the fire or worse
You feed it and keep looking for ways to make it ok
And it feels rewarding sometimes, you cant help but smile
But be cautious baby, I’ve been changing lately
And I don’t know if this is right for me

Chorus x2
I have dreams of setting suits on fire
And all I’ve ever known going down with it
Tried to close the gap and make them laugh ‘til their bellies ached
But what once made me happy now drives me insane

And Dream of Suits

My Uploads

Verse 1
Someone died and somebody died again
I got the news while slowly dying at the desk
I'm stretched to death, nothing seems to mend
Nor top the daydreaming action I conjure up on my own
What can hurt more than life itself cut so short?

Verse 2
So I'd rather live it out in bars
Every night I toss all regret aside to make room on the rocks
Pour it straight, I won't taste the difference
Nor predict the pain, I'll let you go the distance

Pre-Chorus 1
But I'm just asking for a cigarette
It's not an open door, I'm not a good old friend
I've seen you around, rubbing shoulders with the crowd
And still somehow when I'm not strong enough

Chorus
I wanna feel like another one of the groupies, in the movies
Though you're just some guy singing what it means to live a life
And I soak it all up in a single stride
I think to myself fxxx is this the life?
Time's running out and I'm not closing in
Might not be much but it's already a little bit of something

Post-Chorus
I can't explain why I crave for love's delusions
The back and forth between chains of daisies and gore
All I know is I can't just imagine love anymore

Verse 3
There's no affection in the way you tell me it's all gonna be ok
The conversation of the privileged won't bring about change
Whether it's them passing away or my back pain
Another good luck and goodbye
A lesson, what for if it all simply fades?
I could've been anyone but I chose to stay
I could be anyone but I choose to do this shit again

Pre-Chorus 2
'Cause when I'm not strong enough

Chorus

Bridge
And it's so sad to believe I really liked the man
To love and to hold but too much too soon made me fold my hand
I can't be clear about how easily I let you go
I couldn't pull myself together in time so this is how I let you know

Post-Chorus x2

One of the Groupies

Verse 1
Up the stairs through the final threshold
Catching a ride to my old stronghold
I don't like to go back when I'm feeling alright
Across the border, past the river
Driving south straight to the villa
I want to renew but nothing's new

Pre-Chorus 1
And if you knew that I was leaving today
You wouldn't say I was running away
But that's what I did and that's what I do
Make you think I know what's good for me

Chorus
It's always the same kind of sad
And I'm tired of that

Verse 2
Passing time at a birthday party
The kids are playing in the garden lobby
That used to be me
Now I drag a bottle down to the poolside
Dancing around for strangers' delight
A lie's not always a lie so I won't stop lying
When I'm old, I'll atone and write a story about it
Now I'm lost and ashamed
But no one knows the truth beside me

Pre-Chorus 2
Maybe I'm already all I'm supposed to be
No more turbulence forecasted for me
As it is, as sick as it was
I can't give in without giving them all up

Chorus

Verse 3
After cheap beer and shallow confessions
Leaving my friend blowing out candles
Crossed the rain to take me back home again
Down the stairs and I'm just getting old
My words remain unsold
I check and I'm still broke and broken
It ain't new, it's just blue yet now it's open
Wide open

Chorus
It's always the same kind of sad
It's always the same kind of sad
And I've been telling my friends, I'm moving on
It's been months and I'm still moving on
It's always the same kind of sad
And I'm tired of that

Nothing's New

Verse 1
I don't wanna talk to you
I don't wanna know more than I have to
I don't know if I want you or someone else
I used to go out to find out but I only found myself
Hung up on coded reactions all too confusing for me
With very little room to mind them
Ain't it too much work to get free?

Verse 2
And shit got better but then it got worse
I know love don't come easy but nothing's really coming along
And all that "you do you" is good unless there's not much more to do
So I go home alone thinking "am i better off on my own?"

Chorus
Sometimes I just need to get over myself
Expecting to hear who I am from everyone else
Better save it for when it gets boring
Lonely does get boring yet a helping hand doesn't always help
If you don't know where it's needed
You won't grow past what you're given

Verse 3
I don't wanna talk tonight
I don't wanna fight that I'm not into the things you like and turn you on
I've done that before and didn't leave in grace or even more adored

Verse 4
And then I think to myself that maybe I'll feel better
Once I stop telling me I should do better
It's all on my resume
There's nothing left to say

Pre-Chorus
Time is, time was supposed to make this better
Bearable but it just made me rude
I'm all fear some regret and that's what I get
For outpouring the weight of self-discovery
It's time I take control of things
Stop blessing with attention everyone but me

Chorus

It Gets Boring

Verse 1
Am I being punished for wanting too much?
Swear I won't pursue half of it, I lack trust
Would you've had better advice if you just skipped that line?
It was always "dream baby dream cause dreaming is fine" and free
But so is the crippling belief that there will never be conviction to take me from the condition I'm in

Pre-Chorus 1
And after all my best jokes maybe it's time to call it off and laugh alone
I can't entertain this part but that's already a start for me
'Cause I put myself through, I dress myself for
But it never comes yet I'm meant to feel love for the road?

Chorus
Everyone picks up the phone
But nobody answers the way I want

Verse 2
Should I be ashamed to chase in more than one way?
It's always hard work what makes things worth
Can't I fix myself and just make it work?
Maybe you'd have better advice if I'd told you the truth?
I'm textbook anxious over playing the fool
Being the bird singing before impending doom

Pre-Chorus 1
Chorus x2

Bridge
And the worst part is I know it will only make sense until I go out at night
Still if I give in just a little bit maybe I'll trick myself into thinking it will be alright
But then in case of no immediate threat, no financial insecurity nor too much trash
I'd rather spend all day in bed

Pre-Chorus 2
And after all my best jokes maybe it's time to call it off and laugh alone
I can't entertain this part but that's already a start for me
Baby baby baby oh I put myself through, dress myself for
But it never comes yet I'm meant to feel love for the road?

Chorus x3

No Immediate Threat

Verse 1
You're gone for a week and comeback to me bitter
I really can’t help but wish you'd just leave me alone
All over again I have to pretend to be above and ahead on the road
Yet I feel like a kid when the hurt hits all grown up

Pre-Chorus
Oh these decisions I'm making may backfire some day
And I’d be a fool to believe it’s over cause you're gone
I know it follows everywhere I go
And I'm not always better off left alone
But some things are better off left untold

Chorus
I didn't care at all
Now it’s time to face the truth and it takes its toll
All I’ve ever known and all I’ve ever been
My fears, my beliefs, my love, my kin
I'm leaving, I'm leaving
Tonight

Verse 2
Good days to me were easily bound to be bad
Watching videos on how the world will burn down
And it’s all in the stars wait it’s happening now
Only way back when the rapture began
Cutting off excess and the middle man
I knew I had framed it well but missed the point
Now it's gonna take a whole lot of love to kick things off

Chorus

Bridge
If there's a cosmic truth around the turn
Just past the burn of the morning sun
I’ll be damned if I stop walking again
I’ll take it damn, I’ll take the chance

Chorus x2

My Loke, My Kin

Verse 1
I wore blue most of the times and most of the nights I didn’t sleep right
You always had a little too much
Blamed your friends and the fun or the lack thereof
On how you couldn’t keep up always postponing us so casually done
And I never asked for much
More would be too much, I needed just enough

Pre-Chorus
I thought we were one thing now I am something else
And I’m halfway better at taking care of myself

Chorus
I’m not up for discussion baby
We sat on the bar, I said I was bored
You took it too hard and I took it home
You had a picnic, I had a protest
I’m scared of dying but we're still over
I never thought this would be the end
Your friends cat calling me and jokes about only fans
All I needed was to grow up and out
Maybe I’ll see you around
Bet not, but it’s fine now

Verse 2
Now I’m talking about love, orgies and lingering depression
Just question after question after question
Letting go of the outcome while waiting for connection
I never had it with you, the conversation never went that far
Always scratching the surface never straight to the hard part so here we are

Pre-Chorus
I thought we were one thing now I want something else
And I’m halfway better at taking care of myself

Chorus

Bridge
And every now and then I think to myself
“It would've worked out if I'd just kept my head down”
It wouldn’t be as displeasing as it might seem to them
In the end we both just wanted to dance
But if I searched for more than the nights before
I'd get no sleep yet still get bored
Cause I've seen you all around
Both in and out
And all I’ve found is

Chorus

Up for Discussion


About Me

Bio

I write about all that triggers my anxiety and other demons - all low key glad the world is burning.

Mostly writing with Classic Rock, Soul, Funk or Country melodies in mind.

CV/History

Everything but the Music

Contact

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