Bekah

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Bekah

Lying here in the other room
I wonder what it would be like
To lie next to you

Lying here with rosy cheeks
I wonder what it would be like
To sleep next to you

Lying here barely breathing
I wonder what it would be like
To be naked next to you

I’m a monster
Lingering in the darkness
Feigned by bright light

I’m a monster
Waiting for my chance
Wanting to take a bite

What started so pure
Made me a monster
Struggling to take my time

I don’t want to wait
I don’t want to think
I just want you inside of me
Everywhere with everything

I want you to hold me
I want you to touch me
Or else I might make a scene

It was because of you
And only you
That I am a monster

I am the Monster

Sometimes I cry
For I have a lot to cry about
Sometimes I cry
I'm getting ready to graduate
So I'm going to college
Sometimes I cry
I am afraid of my brother
And I am afraid to stand up to my father and mother

People don't know me
I hide myself from the world
So as not to show my vulnerability

I have school
I have work
I have friends
I have family
I have obligations
I have a future

I hide from the fears
That keep me on this course
Of a lack of love and trust
Of anxiety and dread

No one knows that I cry
Or at least I assume so
For I cry alone in my room
Which I know sounds cliche

I have school
I have work
I have friends
I have family
I have obligations
I have a future

I must focus on all these these all at once
Multitasking the thoughts within my mind
Claiming it is the fault of my ADHD
To which I was diagnosed with as a child
Whenever I veer onto a separate tangent in my mind

No one knows that
Sometimes I cry
I don't want anyone to know that
Sometimes I cry
I don't trust anyone to know that
Sometimes I cry

Sometimes I Cry

My happiness
Seems to come naturally
It feels natural
Looks natural

But I know
That I have trained myself
In the ways of concealment
Hiding my emotions

Showing my sadness
Will only bring others down
This will in turn
Make me feel worse

It is an
Unending cycle
Of pain coursing
Through my veins

Where I store
The rest of my dread
My darkest thoughts
Of you and others

Where I restrain
The rebellion
I have planned
Time and time again

Where I cry silently
Waiting
For the pain to subside

My happiness
Seems to come naturally
But it is my disguise
That will be with me
Until death do we part

This pain eats away
At what I call my soul
My being

You joke with me
And I laugh
But as I walk away
I am holding back the tears
Of pain

I take your words
And as I laugh at them
I feel my stomach tighten
With a sadness so sincere

And I cry
Due to your words of joy
Your joy
That hurts my heart

It has many names
Joke
Tease
Both very different
The different levels
Of what you do to me

It once was a joke
A simple thing
That we laughed at

Then it became a tease
Slowly becoming frustrating
And annoying beyond belief

Now it is harassment
When you say these things
To my face

I fill with anger
So much that my eyes swell
With hot stinging tears
Of hatred

So I conceal my pain
For your pleasure to endure
And for my sorrow
To be pushed
Into the back of my mind

Where I store
The rest of my dread
My darkest thoughts
Of you and others

Where I restrain
The rebellion
I have planned
Time and time again

Where I cry silently
Waiting
For the pain to subside

My happiness
Seems to come naturally
But it is my disguise
That will be with me
Until death do we part

Written By: Rebekah Kemp

My Disguise


Latest Uploads

Lying here in the other room
I wonder what it would be like
To lie next to you

Lying here with rosy cheeks
I wonder what it would be like
To sleep next to you

Lying here barely breathing
I wonder what it would be like
To be naked next to you

I’m a monster
Lingering in the darkness
Feigned by bright light

I’m a monster
Waiting for my chance
Wanting to take a bite

What started so pure
Made me a monster
Struggling to take my time

I don’t want to wait
I don’t want to think
I just want you inside of me
Everywhere with everything

I want you to hold me
I want you to touch me
Or else I might make a scene

It was because of you
And only you
That I am a monster

I am the Monster

Sometimes I cry
For I have a lot to cry about
Sometimes I cry
I'm getting ready to graduate
So I'm going to college
Sometimes I cry
I am afraid of my brother
And I am afraid to stand up to my father and mother

People don't know me
I hide myself from the world
So as not to show my vulnerability

I have school
I have work
I have friends
I have family
I have obligations
I have a future

I hide from the fears
That keep me on this course
Of a lack of love and trust
Of anxiety and dread

No one knows that I cry
Or at least I assume so
For I cry alone in my room
Which I know sounds cliche

I have school
I have work
I have friends
I have family
I have obligations
I have a future

I must focus on all these these all at once
Multitasking the thoughts within my mind
Claiming it is the fault of my ADHD
To which I was diagnosed with as a child
Whenever I veer onto a separate tangent in my mind

No one knows that
Sometimes I cry
I don't want anyone to know that
Sometimes I cry
I don't trust anyone to know that
Sometimes I cry

Sometimes I Cry

My happiness
Seems to come naturally
It feels natural
Looks natural

But I know
That I have trained myself
In the ways of concealment
Hiding my emotions

Showing my sadness
Will only bring others down
This will in turn
Make me feel worse

It is an
Unending cycle
Of pain coursing
Through my veins

Where I store
The rest of my dread
My darkest thoughts
Of you and others

Where I restrain
The rebellion
I have planned
Time and time again

Where I cry silently
Waiting
For the pain to subside

My happiness
Seems to come naturally
But it is my disguise
That will be with me
Until death do we part

This pain eats away
At what I call my soul
My being

You joke with me
And I laugh
But as I walk away
I am holding back the tears
Of pain

I take your words
And as I laugh at them
I feel my stomach tighten
With a sadness so sincere

And I cry
Due to your words of joy
Your joy
That hurts my heart

It has many names
Joke
Tease
Both very different
The different levels
Of what you do to me

It once was a joke
A simple thing
That we laughed at

Then it became a tease
Slowly becoming frustrating
And annoying beyond belief

Now it is harassment
When you say these things
To my face

I fill with anger
So much that my eyes swell
With hot stinging tears
Of hatred

So I conceal my pain
For your pleasure to endure
And for my sorrow
To be pushed
Into the back of my mind

Where I store
The rest of my dread
My darkest thoughts
Of you and others

Where I restrain
The rebellion
I have planned
Time and time again

Where I cry silently
Waiting
For the pain to subside

My happiness
Seems to come naturally
But it is my disguise
That will be with me
Until death do we part

Written By: Rebekah Kemp

My Disguise

When this started
It was fun
Or at least
Supposed to be

When this started
It was light-hearted
Or at least
Supposed to be

You want sex
You want my body
You want sex
You want a taste

Now here we are
Without words
Or at least
We aren't talking

You mention
A phrase
New to me
Dropped

What does that mean?
To be dropped
Like a toy
Like nothing

I retorted
"I did not"

I'm doing me
I'm taking care
I'm staying true

All while you claim
"You did so to"

You want sex
You want my body
You want sex
You want a taste

Now here we are
Without words
Or at least
We aren't talking

You mention
A phrase
New to me
Dropped

What does that mean?
To be dropped
Like a toy
Like nothing

I'm not a toy
I'm not a game
You can't use me
So why haven't you
Dropped me

Dropped

My Uploads

Lying here in the other room
I wonder what it would be like
To lie next to you

Lying here with rosy cheeks
I wonder what it would be like
To sleep next to you

Lying here barely breathing
I wonder what it would be like
To be naked next to you

I’m a monster
Lingering in the darkness
Feigned by bright light

I’m a monster
Waiting for my chance
Wanting to take a bite

What started so pure
Made me a monster
Struggling to take my time

I don’t want to wait
I don’t want to think
I just want you inside of me
Everywhere with everything

I want you to hold me
I want you to touch me
Or else I might make a scene

It was because of you
And only you
That I am a monster

I am the Monster

Sometimes I cry
For I have a lot to cry about
Sometimes I cry
I'm getting ready to graduate
So I'm going to college
Sometimes I cry
I am afraid of my brother
And I am afraid to stand up to my father and mother

People don't know me
I hide myself from the world
So as not to show my vulnerability

I have school
I have work
I have friends
I have family
I have obligations
I have a future

I hide from the fears
That keep me on this course
Of a lack of love and trust
Of anxiety and dread

No one knows that I cry
Or at least I assume so
For I cry alone in my room
Which I know sounds cliche

I have school
I have work
I have friends
I have family
I have obligations
I have a future

I must focus on all these these all at once
Multitasking the thoughts within my mind
Claiming it is the fault of my ADHD
To which I was diagnosed with as a child
Whenever I veer onto a separate tangent in my mind

No one knows that
Sometimes I cry
I don't want anyone to know that
Sometimes I cry
I don't trust anyone to know that
Sometimes I cry

Sometimes I Cry

My happiness
Seems to come naturally
It feels natural
Looks natural

But I know
That I have trained myself
In the ways of concealment
Hiding my emotions

Showing my sadness
Will only bring others down
This will in turn
Make me feel worse

It is an
Unending cycle
Of pain coursing
Through my veins

Where I store
The rest of my dread
My darkest thoughts
Of you and others

Where I restrain
The rebellion
I have planned
Time and time again

Where I cry silently
Waiting
For the pain to subside

My happiness
Seems to come naturally
But it is my disguise
That will be with me
Until death do we part

This pain eats away
At what I call my soul
My being

You joke with me
And I laugh
But as I walk away
I am holding back the tears
Of pain

I take your words
And as I laugh at them
I feel my stomach tighten
With a sadness so sincere

And I cry
Due to your words of joy
Your joy
That hurts my heart

It has many names
Joke
Tease
Both very different
The different levels
Of what you do to me

It once was a joke
A simple thing
That we laughed at

Then it became a tease
Slowly becoming frustrating
And annoying beyond belief

Now it is harassment
When you say these things
To my face

I fill with anger
So much that my eyes swell
With hot stinging tears
Of hatred

So I conceal my pain
For your pleasure to endure
And for my sorrow
To be pushed
Into the back of my mind

Where I store
The rest of my dread
My darkest thoughts
Of you and others

Where I restrain
The rebellion
I have planned
Time and time again

Where I cry silently
Waiting
For the pain to subside

My happiness
Seems to come naturally
But it is my disguise
That will be with me
Until death do we part

Written By: Rebekah Kemp

My Disguise

When this started
It was fun
Or at least
Supposed to be

When this started
It was light-hearted
Or at least
Supposed to be

You want sex
You want my body
You want sex
You want a taste

Now here we are
Without words
Or at least
We aren't talking

You mention
A phrase
New to me
Dropped

What does that mean?
To be dropped
Like a toy
Like nothing

I retorted
"I did not"

I'm doing me
I'm taking care
I'm staying true

All while you claim
"You did so to"

You want sex
You want my body
You want sex
You want a taste

Now here we are
Without words
Or at least
We aren't talking

You mention
A phrase
New to me
Dropped

What does that mean?
To be dropped
Like a toy
Like nothing

I'm not a toy
I'm not a game
You can't use me
So why haven't you
Dropped me

Dropped


About Me

Bio

My name is Rebekah and I think like most here, I have a strong passion for music. I've only just begun dabbling with DAWs but have been writing about my and other's experiences for a while. Feel free to contact me if you'd like to collaborate. I'd love to learn from you!

CV/History

User has yet to complete this section.

Contact

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