Jordan A

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The high heavens
Winged chariot
Two good horses
Horses of the gods

Not falling to the earth
Horses good and bad
Star-crossed, tapped-out, praying

For the pilgrim’s progress
Stasis was the way
For Love, base desire
Loving other bodies,
Money, wealth and power–
Better to love
Than to be loved

But it wasn’t love
When you loved the body
Carnate thing
If you loved the soul
Of another
Spirit, incarnate thing

Beyond the flesh of another,
Personality of another

Then I’d say you truly loved.

Placeholder I was
Lover’s mantra
Not here or there
Neither sick nor fair
You never loved love,
But the body
Short return as a placeholder.

Sad to say, my past love
Broken and incomplete,
Pilgrim’s progress
But better some than none at all.
29, and you 30.

I see you on the distant shore
Solitary, not sorry
Broken body,
Like me, out at sea

Bright starlight
The sea recedes
Our connection, still connected
Before love is on the scene
All the haves and have nots
Thousands of realities in between

So I see you on the far shore
Waving round your arms
Thankful for that pause
Bijou, bright sapphire
Before the waves came crashing in

You were a kind of lover
Forced to take a placeholder
I was at least as good as any other
I was your placeholder

A bicycle never replaced training wheels
Tidal wave intercepted–
Left on a clothesline
All around only air.

Because the truth is, dear,
There’s a million realities in between
We have less sway on our destiny
Than you might think.

I think that you will look back, proud,
On what we had
Me your second love
And you my true first

Though the violence in between
Less blessing, more curse,
Has made me lose my thirst for love
Underground now–in one so young–
I was your placeholder
Not replaced by another

Young love,
The grace of one summer,
Young love,
My souvenir.