Tina Knowledgeable Peden

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Tina Knowledgeable Peden

Verse 1:
-Sometimes hate to turn on the tv
-Open a magazine
-Because all I mostly see
-Are images of beautiful people
-That I know i’ll never be
-And what truly amazes me
-That deep down it don’t bother me cause……

Chorus:
-I’m so glad to be imperfect
-Ain’t no flies on me
-I don’t have the perfect body
-Ya’ know the ones you see on tv
-But at least I don’t have their worries
-That’s why it don’t really bother me
-Because i’m glad to be imperfect
-I’m happy to be just me

Verse 2:
-I ain’t going to lie
-So many times i’ve wanted the perfect body
-Have my pics in all the magazines
-Be put on a pedestal for all the world to see
-But I began to wonder if that would really make me happy
-Cause’ with perfection comes a different set of problems
-Ones I damn well don’t want or need
-That’s when I learned to accept my imperfections fully
-And found out it’s not so bad to be imperfect
-It’s okay to be plain ole’ fabulous me
-That’s why……

Chorus:
-I’m so glad to be imperfect
-Ain’t no flies on me
-I don’t have the perfect body
-Ya’ know the ones you see on tv
-But at least I don’t have their worries
-That’s why it don’t really bother me
-Because i’m glad to be imperfect
-I’m happy to be just me

IMPERFECT

Verse 1:

-Mom, I sit here with tears in my eyes

-Wondering for the millionth time, why oh why

-Why my needs always come second to one of your guys

Chorus:

-I don’t expect you to be perfect mommy

-I just want you to love and hold me, oh please

-Why can’t you be the mom that I need, oh please

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

Verse 2:

-Mom, i’m in so much pain, I don’t know what to do

-I feel so disrespected and rejected by you

-I only wish that you cared or had some kind of clue

-Of how much your abandonment has hurt me, left me battered and blue

(Chorus)

Verse 3:

-Mom I don’t expect you to bake me chocolate chip cookies

-Or constantly compliment and praise me

-But mom, I do expect you to make a commitment to me

-To show that you want a relationship with me, mommy

-It’s not really asking too much of you mommy

-For god’s sake, i’m your kid, I deserve this mommy

(Chorus)

Verse 4:

-Mom, I would never do this to someone I love

-I pray every night to God in heaven above

-That you’ll open your heart to me, cause’ it’s all I dream of

-And be the mom that I need, someone i’m really proud of

-Cause mom i’m not takin’ it anymore from you, i’ve had enough

-I love you, but I love myself more

-Enough to kiss you goodbye and show you the door

-But mom, I always hope that you’ll remember that……

Extended Chorus:

-I don’t expect you to be perfect mommy

-I just want you to love and hold me, oh please

-Why can’t you be the mom that I need, oh please

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-And if you ever grow up and wanna’ be a mama to me, mom please call me

A Mama To Me?

Verse 1:

Bottles and Luvs diapers everywhere,

Sleepless nights, disheveled hair,

Baby shakes rattle, baby shakes rattle,

Houseful of kids who luvs to tattle,

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

Verse 2:

My biological clock is going tick tock tick tock,

My obsession is reading aloud to my kids, "Hickory Dickory Dock,"

Sex, pregnancy and a whole bunch of recorded videotape,

Happy Halloween Mommy, how do I look all dressed up as Superman in my red cape,

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

Verse 3:

So big boy I hope you got the message and that I made myself crystal clear,

Okay Mama, let's make a baby is the only thing that I want to hear,

Because boy oh boy or should I say girl oh girl I am oh so ready for this,

Lover, take me in your arms and let's start this baby-making party off with a kiss!

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

I want a baby!

I Got Baby Fever!


Latest Uploads

Verse 1:
-Sometimes hate to turn on the tv
-Open a magazine
-Because all I mostly see
-Are images of beautiful people
-That I know i’ll never be
-And what truly amazes me
-That deep down it don’t bother me cause……

Chorus:
-I’m so glad to be imperfect
-Ain’t no flies on me
-I don’t have the perfect body
-Ya’ know the ones you see on tv
-But at least I don’t have their worries
-That’s why it don’t really bother me
-Because i’m glad to be imperfect
-I’m happy to be just me

Verse 2:
-I ain’t going to lie
-So many times i’ve wanted the perfect body
-Have my pics in all the magazines
-Be put on a pedestal for all the world to see
-But I began to wonder if that would really make me happy
-Cause’ with perfection comes a different set of problems
-Ones I damn well don’t want or need
-That’s when I learned to accept my imperfections fully
-And found out it’s not so bad to be imperfect
-It’s okay to be plain ole’ fabulous me
-That’s why……

Chorus:
-I’m so glad to be imperfect
-Ain’t no flies on me
-I don’t have the perfect body
-Ya’ know the ones you see on tv
-But at least I don’t have their worries
-That’s why it don’t really bother me
-Because i’m glad to be imperfect
-I’m happy to be just me

IMPERFECT

Verse 1:

-Mom, I sit here with tears in my eyes

-Wondering for the millionth time, why oh why

-Why my needs always come second to one of your guys

Chorus:

-I don’t expect you to be perfect mommy

-I just want you to love and hold me, oh please

-Why can’t you be the mom that I need, oh please

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

Verse 2:

-Mom, i’m in so much pain, I don’t know what to do

-I feel so disrespected and rejected by you

-I only wish that you cared or had some kind of clue

-Of how much your abandonment has hurt me, left me battered and blue

(Chorus)

Verse 3:

-Mom I don’t expect you to bake me chocolate chip cookies

-Or constantly compliment and praise me

-But mom, I do expect you to make a commitment to me

-To show that you want a relationship with me, mommy

-It’s not really asking too much of you mommy

-For god’s sake, i’m your kid, I deserve this mommy

(Chorus)

Verse 4:

-Mom, I would never do this to someone I love

-I pray every night to God in heaven above

-That you’ll open your heart to me, cause’ it’s all I dream of

-And be the mom that I need, someone i’m really proud of

-Cause mom i’m not takin’ it anymore from you, i’ve had enough

-I love you, but I love myself more

-Enough to kiss you goodbye and show you the door

-But mom, I always hope that you’ll remember that……

Extended Chorus:

-I don’t expect you to be perfect mommy

-I just want you to love and hold me, oh please

-Why can’t you be the mom that I need, oh please

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-And if you ever grow up and wanna’ be a mama to me, mom please call me

A Mama To Me?

Verse 1:

Bottles and Luvs diapers everywhere,

Sleepless nights, disheveled hair,

Baby shakes rattle, baby shakes rattle,

Houseful of kids who luvs to tattle,

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

Verse 2:

My biological clock is going tick tock tick tock,

My obsession is reading aloud to my kids, "Hickory Dickory Dock,"

Sex, pregnancy and a whole bunch of recorded videotape,

Happy Halloween Mommy, how do I look all dressed up as Superman in my red cape,

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

Verse 3:

So big boy I hope you got the message and that I made myself crystal clear,

Okay Mama, let's make a baby is the only thing that I want to hear,

Because boy oh boy or should I say girl oh girl I am oh so ready for this,

Lover, take me in your arms and let's start this baby-making party off with a kiss!

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

I want a baby!

I Got Baby Fever!

Verse 1:
Chorus:
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Hey!
I'm a good ol' bee
You can always count on me!

One day Tina was sitting in Math class.
She was so bored, she found herself looking outside the window at the grass.
Right next to it, some kids were sitting on the playground.
Above them a honeybee was flying around.
The kids were drinking milk and eating cinnamon rolls.
And the radio was playing some good ol' fashioned rock n' roll.

All of a sudden the honeybee stopped flying around.
And sat down by the radio which was on the ground.
The honeybee stayed through three rock n' roll songs.
Then moved on when the kids started playing a game of ping pong.

All of a sudden an idea hit Tina right away.
She was so excited she could hardly wait for the end of the school day.
The idea was about a cute little honeybee.
That was later to be me, Rock N' Roll Honeybee.

Chorus:
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Hey!
I'm a good ol' bee
You can always count on me!

Verse 2:
Once Tina got home, she worked on Rock N' Roll Honeybee right away.
She even skipped dinner, it didn't matter because she wasn't hungry anyway.
Three hours later, Tina looked at the finished picture of Rock N' Roll Honeybee.
Her smile was bright, she was so very happy.

Rock N' Roll Honeybee's body was striped black and yellow.
He was quite an amazing looking fellow.
Rock N' Roll Honeybee had all the things a normal honeybee had.
But he also had a lot of other things that would make all the other honeybees mad.

On paper, Rock N' Roll Honeybee looked so very small.
But if he were real, he'd be six feet tall.
Rock N' Roll Honeybee had beautiful, long blonde hair.
To keep it off his face, a black leather scarf tied around it he would wear.
His eyebrows were blonde and very thick.
He kept them that way because he didn't want to get a cut or nick.

Rock N' Roll Honeybee had big oval black eyes.
When you looked into them, you knew he would tell you no lies.
Rock N' Roll Honeybee had a small black button nose.
When it was cold, turned the color of a bright red rose.
You would see his beautiful white teeth whenever he would smile.
To keep them that way, he brushed them 3 times a day for quite awhile.

A small silver earring in the shape of a star hung from his left ear.
He wore that earring proudly as part of his gear.
Rock N' Roll Honeybee wore a shiny black leather jacket.
When he moved it made a whole lot of racket.
His black leather jacket also covered up his big white wings.
He didn't need them to fly, he barely had use for the things.
On his hands, legs, arms, and feet he wore black leather.
All his clothes went perfectly together.

Tina looked happily at the picture she had come to adore.
But something was troubling her, because deep down in her heart she knew that she could do so much more.
Tina began to daydream about where Rock N' Roll Honeybee would live and what kinds of things he would do.
Tina quickly went back to work because she wasn't even close to being through.
Three hours later, Tina had filled a sheet of notebook paper of things about Rock N' Roll Honeybee.
Tina smiled even brighter, she was even more happy.

His full name was Rock N' Roll Honeybee.
But his nickname was "Rock" for short, you see.
Rock lived on a small, invisible, magical planet named Colony Park.
Where everyday spent there was such fun, a tremendous lark.
Rock was very popular, especially with the girl bees.
About this his boy bee friends would always tease.

Rock N' Roll Honeybee was so very hip and cool.
He always told kids to stay and study hard in school.
When you looked at him you saw nothing but good.
He was the kind of person that welcomed you to the neighborhood.
Rock N' Roll Honeybee was a bee who would never sting.
Instead he liked to use his beautiful voice to sing.
His hobbies were riding motorcycles and playing the electric guitar.
His dream was one day to become a famous rock star.

His favorite music was of course, rock n' roll.
But he liked all kinds of music, because music was in his heart and soul.
Rock also had special magical powers.
He could do things in a second, that would take most people hours.
He came into a room by a big bright yellow cloud.
Then a special song Tina had written would start to play very loud.
After the song was finished, the cloud would disappear.
And standing where the cloud had been, Rock N' Roll Honeybee would appear.

Tina looked at the picture and the sheet of notebook paper on her desk with pride.
She was so very happy deep down inside.
For the next hour, all Tina did was daydream about Rock N' Roll Honeybee.
But then her stomach growled, so she went downstairs to get something to eat because she was suddenly very hungry.
After Tina ate, she took a bath, and climbed happily into bed.
But after a couple hours of tossing and turning, she couldn't get to sleep because visions of Rock N' Roll Honeybee filled her head.

Tina could hardly believe that only today she had created Rock N' Roll Honeybee.
But she knew with all her heart she already loved him so very dearly.
"Gee, Rock N' Roll Honeybee, I wish that you were real!"
Then an idea hit Tina that made her squeal.
Tina jumped out of bed, put her robe and slippers on.
Tina shook a penny out of her piggy bank, opened her bedroom window and in a flash she was gone.

Ten minutes later, Tina stood in front of the wishing fountain in Baker Park.
Tina was a little scared because it was so very dark.
Tina slowly took a fresh breath of air in.
Then quickly threw the penny in.
The penny hit the bottom of the fountain with a soft plink.
Then a second later, Tina saw something that made her eyes three times blink.
A big bright yellow cloud appeared right next to the fountain out of the blue.
Tina's mouth fell open, she was shocked and didn't know what to do.
Then the Rock N' Roll Honeybee Song started to play.

Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Hey!
I'm a good ol' bee
You can always count on me!

Tina got scared, she turned and ran away.
After the song was finished the cloud disappeared.
And standing where the cloud had been Rock suddenly appeared.
Rock saw Tina and said, "Tina you don't have to run away."
"Just say the word and I'll simply go away."
Tina stopped running and turned slowly around.
She didn't even notice that she was standing on top of the pitcher's mound.

Tina asked, "Rock, is it really you?"
Rock nodded his head and said, "Yes Tina, it's true."
Tina asked shyly, "Rock N' Roll Honeybee may I please hug you?"
Rock smiled and said, "Oh yes! Tina please do!"
Tina smiled and ran over to Rock N' Roll Honeybee.
She threw her arms around his waist and hugged him very tightly.
A few minutes later, Tina looked up at Rock with a question in her big brown eyes.
She looked so sweet she made Rock want to cry.
"Rock N' Roll Honeybee, how did you come to life, I mean however did you come to be."
"Tina, I came to be because you believed and you really loved me."

Chorus:
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Hey!
I'm a good ol' bee
You can always count on me!

Verse 3:

"Rock N' Roll Honeybee, I don't understand, you came to be because I believed and I really loved you?"
Rock nodded his head, "Yes Tina, that's true."
Tina frowned, "Rock, I still don't understand what you mean."
"I know you don't kiddo, so I'm going to explain it to you, and in a minute you'll understand because your pretty keen."

"You see Tina, the wishing fountain in Baker Park is a magical fountain."
"It can grant any wish, even a wish to move the Rocky Mountains."
"But there are two things you must do."
"Or your wish will not come true."
"First, you must believe that the fountain can really grant your wish."
"That it is not fake and filled with just fish."
"Second, your wish must be made with true love."
"A love so strong that it was sent down from heaven above."
"Tina, always remember that LOVE IS A VERY POWERFUL THING!"
"LOVE CAN DO ANYTHING!"

"So you see Tina, those are the two things you must do."
"For your wish to come true."
"And Tina, you did what you were supposed to do."
"So your wish came true."
"Tina, your love for me was so strong, that it could do anything."
"Like I said before, LOVE CAN DO ANYTHING!"
Tina thought about what Rock had just said. Alot was going through her head.

Tina knew 100 percent that she loved Rock N' Roll Honeybee and wanted him to come to life with all of her heart.
He was real to her, not just some stupid drawing she had made, not just a piece of art.
"And Tina, this time, you really believed that the wishing well was real, AND IT IS REAL, that it was not fake."
"Tonight, you didn't listen to the bad stuff that some people say about the well, or the other bad comments they make."
Rock pointed, "Tonight, you didn't even pay attention to the sign."
"You went ahead and made your wish, you didn't buy that corny line."
Tina looked up and for the one millionth time in her life and read the corny sign.

"THE BAKER PARK WISHING WELL AND FOUNTAIN INVITES YOU TO THROW A PENNY IN AND MAKE A WISH, AND YOU'LL COME OUT LOOKING AND SMELLING LIKE ONE OF THESE FISH."
Tina and her friends thought that was such a stupid and corny line.
"Yeah, right!" Like they would really come out looking and smelling like a fish if they threw a penny in a well.
They never believed that, it was such a tough sell.
Tina looked at all the fish in the Baker Park Wishing Well swimming around.
And looked at all the pennies on the wishing well ground.
Tina suddenly thought, "Rock N' Roll Honeybee was right!"
Tina suddenly saw the light.

Tonight, Tina didn't pay any attention to the sign because she wanted her wish to come true.
So for once, she did believe the fountain was real, but at the time she had no clue.
Tina smiled brightly and hugged Rock again.
She was so happy, surely it must be a sin.
She now knew that she did everything she was supposed to do.
So her wish came true.
Tina said, "Now, Rock N' Roll Honeybee I understand, now I see."
"I now understand how you came to be."

"Now, Rock N' Roll Honeybee I want to hear all about you."
"And please don't stop until you are through."
"Okay Tina, but not tonight."
"Kiddo, you should be in bed with the covers tight."
For a minute, Tina felt like such a fool.
It was very late and tomorrow she had to get up early and go to school.
Rock then took Tina's chin in his right hand and looked her in the eye.
For a moment, Tina was very shy.
Rock said, "Tina, I want you to promise me that you will never go out by yourself so late at night."
Tina promised Rock because she knew that he was right.

"Okay, I promise never to do it again, Rock N' Roll Honeybee."
Rock said, "I know you won't, honey."
"But, Rock N' Roll Honeybee, when are we going to talk?"
"Tina, tomorrow after school we will talk and take a little walk."
"Gee Tina, I hope that is okay?"
Tina jumped up into the air and yelled, "Hooray!"
Tina and Rock walked back to her house hand in hand.
She was so happy, she felt like hiring a marching band.
Ten minutes later, Rock put Tina in her bed.
Then kissed her gently on the forehead.

"Goodnight my sweet little Tina."
"Tomorrow I will see ya'."
"Goodnight Rock N' Roll Honeybee."
"I really do love you so very dearly."
"Thank you Tina, I really love you too."
"Now you get some sleep and tomorrow we'll have a lot of fun, just me and you."
"And Tina, remember if you ever need me."
"Just say three times, Rock N' Roll Honeybee."
"Tina always remember that I am a good ol' bee."
"You and anyone else can always count on Rock N' Roll Honeybee."

Chorus:
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Hey!
I'm a good ol' bee
You can always count on me!

Verse 4:

Well kids, I hope you enjoyed the story and song.
I hope you thought it was good and not so very long.
Kids, this is not the last time you will hear from Tina and me.
Kids watch for more adventures with Rock N' Roll Honeybee.
Kids I must say one last thing before I go.
After reading my story and singing my song you should already know.
Knock, knock, kids guess who really loves you?
Times up, Rock N' Roll Honeybee, that's who!

Chorus:
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Hey!
I'm a good ol' bee
You can always count on me!

THE END

Rock N' Roll Honeybee Song

(VERSE 1)

-Valentine’s Day, oh boy, the kinky love,
-My baby’s gonna’ spank my nasty-ass with his ultra-ribbed pleasure glove,
-Fxxxing, bucking and sucking all of those yummy chocolate-covered balls,
-Oh god, oh god, oh god, I just love having sex with my baby after hearing steamy-ass 1900 calls,
-Because . . . . . . . . . .

(CHORUS)

-I love you,
-I want you,
-I need you, Lovey Boo,
-I know this shit sounds mushy, gushy,
-But it’s true, Lovey Boo,
-Happy Valentine’s Day to you my sweet, Lovey Boo,
-P.S. Be sure to preserve your strength because tonight i’m gonna’ fxxx the shit outta’ you,
-Cause’ I love you and I always will my sweet, Lovey Boo!

(VERSE 2)

-Valentine’s Day, oh girl, the hot and healthy sex,
-My honey’s gonna’ sprinkle my body all over with some tasty-ass yogurt-covered wheat chex,
-Sniffin’, ticklin’ and lickin’ all of those edible cherry-flavored red roses and pussy willows,
-Oh god, oh god, oh god, I just love comin’ in my honey’s mouth while propped up on her heart-shaped red satin pillows,
-Because . . . . . . . . . .

(CHORUS)

-I love you,
-I want you,
-I need you, Lovey Boo,
-I know this shit sounds mushy, gushy,
-But it’s true, Lovey Boo,
-Happy Valentine’s Day to you my sweet, Lovey Boo,
-P.S. Be sure to preserve your strength because tonight i’m gonna’ fxxx the shit outta’ you,
-Cause’ I love you and I always will my sweet, Lovey Boo!

(VERSE 3)

-Well, my sweet, as Valentine’s Day and night comes to a close,
-Of course I want to thank you for having sex with me and taking off all of your clothes,
-Cause’ baby when it comes to phenomenal sex me and only heaven knows,
-That you are perfection and make me feel so damn good from my head to my toes,
-And that’s why . . . . . . . . . .

(CHORUS)

-I love you,
-I want you,
-I need you, Lovey Boo,
-I know this shit sounds mushy, gushy,
-But it’s true, Lovey Boo,
-Happy Valentine’s Day to you my sweet, Lovey Boo,
-P.S. Be sure to preserve your strength because tonight i’m gonna’ fxxx the shit outta’ you,
-Cause’ I love you and I always will my sweet, Lovey Boo!

(VERSE 4)

-But seriously my love, now, I want to thank you by going all old school on your sexy, delectable-ass,
-When I was a kid on Valentine’s Day, I just loved getting miniature greeting cards and boxes of candy hearts with messages on them in class,
-So here’s my sweet-ass heart-shaped “let’s go steady so we can hold hands” candy-coated inscribed verbal message expressly for you,
-No matter whether it’s Valentine’s Day or any ol’ regular day of the year, I just want you to know that I will forever love you and sometimes wanna’ fxxx you, my sweet Lovey Boo!
-Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Just kidding! And without further sexual ado . . . . . . . . . .

(CHORUS)

-I love you,
-I want you,
-I need you, Lovey Boo,
-I know this shit sounds mushy, gushy,
-But it’s true, Lovey Boo,
-Happy Valentine’s Day to you my sweet, Lovey Boo,
-P.S. Be sure to preserve your strength because tonight i’m gonna’ fxxx the shit outta’ you,
-Cause’ I love you and I always will my sweet, Lovey Boo!

Lovey Boo

Oh, no,

Oh why did you have to go,

Folks, Friday, June 29th 2012 will mark the one year anniversary of the death of an industry giant, yo,

And for all of you folks not in the loop or in the know,

Former mail order giant, Columbia House Record Club quietly closed their dusty-ass cobwebbed doors, oh no baby, say it ain’t so,

Hey ya’ll here’s the 411 on a company who got kicked to the curb by Napster and was unable to make any dough,

For a down payment of a mere penny, 12 records or cassettes were shipped a few weeks later to an average joe,

And from the fifties to the nineties youngins all over the country like me got to shake their groove things, ho,

I personally received my 12 cassettes back in the 80?s consisting of Lionel Ritchie, Culture Club and Michael Jackson complete with his greasy-ass jheri curl fro,

And for many a year Columbia House was rollin’ in the deep makin’ them benjamins from head to toe,

But folks what goes up must also come down baby and for Columbia House they hit rock bottom, oh them bitches sunk low,

Napster, non-payments by club members and because of the high costs of hiring collection agencies to recoup their precious dough,

Columbia House Record Club folded faster than a house of cards and became a forgotten footnote in pop culture history bro,

Well at least until now yo,

Unfortunately it’s been 30 years since I stiffed you guys on the 12 cassettes so…

I wrote this song for you to try to make up for it so I hope this Columbia House Record Club will make us friends not foe,

Goodbye to you Columbia House Record Club you had a damn good ride and made one hell of a successful go,

Cheerio to you, my beautiful beau!

So damn sorry that I forgot about you before I could pay you what I owe!

Columbia House Record Club

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

(Verse 1)

I was born in Des Moines Iowa on April 13, you see,

With lungs that would rival the biggest banshee,

Took me eight years to remember a birthday, oh golly gee,

And eight seconds to know one was not nuff for this girly,

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

(Verse 2)

After alot of thinking I discovered the key,

Have a birthday every six months rather simple really,

Double the cake, balloons, presents, merriment, oh whoopee,

Who cares about getting old, two birthdays for the rest of my life I definitely foresee,

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

(Verse 3)

My second birthday is on October 13 near Halloween, boo, scary,

Orange pumpkins, black cats, graveyards and an old horror movie,

Jason, Spiders, Michael Myers thrill and scare the hell outta’ me,

I got two birthdays with my name in frosting on the cake marquee,

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

(Verse 4)

So no matter whether you’re a human, animal, insect or tree,

You now have two birthdays just like everybody else and me,

Celebrate and enjoy every wonderful birthday memory,

Cause’ one day we will all die and won’t have this living luxury,

But don’t you fret but you accept what is to inevitably no doubt be,

Cherish this gift given to you by our God, your dad and your lovely mommy,

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

(Verse 5)

So no more worries about whether you’re sick, have to work or some other emergency,

You now have two birthdays a spare blessing to your loved ones and to thee,

Always remember every living thing was born, a most certain guarantee,

And whether it is your wish to celebrate quietly or with people and cherries jubilee,

You not only have one but two birthdays to do whatever you please to any degree,

Cause’ it is your day to have tea, build a teepee, hold a jamboree, climb a tree, be totally carefree!

Oh hallelujah, praise God, oh how I truly love him, my family and good ol’ fabulous me!

It is my birthday and noone on this planet does it quite like me, oh glorious glee!

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two Birthdays

Verse 1:
-Spectacular in the sheets
-Likes sex, is always in heat
-Big-breasted with fake spray tan
-No conscience, will steal your man
-Tramp stamp across her lower back
-Ha! Ha! She’s the first one to get whacked

Chorus:
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-Gloria Steinem, the feminist foe
-Without her, where’s a psycho killer to go
-Beyond stupid, magic 8 ball says it is decidedly so
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-We salute ya, you dumb little bimbo

Verse 2:
-When chased, she always falls down
-Stalked by a slow-walking clown
-She’s part of the coolest clique
-Killed early in the movie by a big-ass ice pick
-Constantly makes fun of an innocent virgin
-Ha! Ha! That’s her upper body stuffed in a trash bin

Chorus:
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-Gloria Steinem, the feminist foe
-Without her, where’s a psycho killer to go
-Beyond stupid, magic 8 ball says it is decidedly so
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-We salute ya, you dumb little bimbo

Verse 3:
-She’s needed to provide some jiggle
-Her antics provide plenty of giggles
-How can anyone be so dumb
-Don’t just stand there run, lose the bubble gum
-We will always love her cause’ she’s so dense
-So long honey, we only wish you had a little common sense

Chorus:
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-Gloria Steinem, the feminist foe
-Without her, where’s a psycho killer to go
-Beyond stupid, magic 8 ball says it is decidedly so
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-We salute ya, you dumb little bimbo

Horror Movie Ho

My Uploads

Verse 1:
-Sometimes hate to turn on the tv
-Open a magazine
-Because all I mostly see
-Are images of beautiful people
-That I know i’ll never be
-And what truly amazes me
-That deep down it don’t bother me cause……

Chorus:
-I’m so glad to be imperfect
-Ain’t no flies on me
-I don’t have the perfect body
-Ya’ know the ones you see on tv
-But at least I don’t have their worries
-That’s why it don’t really bother me
-Because i’m glad to be imperfect
-I’m happy to be just me

Verse 2:
-I ain’t going to lie
-So many times i’ve wanted the perfect body
-Have my pics in all the magazines
-Be put on a pedestal for all the world to see
-But I began to wonder if that would really make me happy
-Cause’ with perfection comes a different set of problems
-Ones I damn well don’t want or need
-That’s when I learned to accept my imperfections fully
-And found out it’s not so bad to be imperfect
-It’s okay to be plain ole’ fabulous me
-That’s why……

Chorus:
-I’m so glad to be imperfect
-Ain’t no flies on me
-I don’t have the perfect body
-Ya’ know the ones you see on tv
-But at least I don’t have their worries
-That’s why it don’t really bother me
-Because i’m glad to be imperfect
-I’m happy to be just me

IMPERFECT

Verse 1:

-Mom, I sit here with tears in my eyes

-Wondering for the millionth time, why oh why

-Why my needs always come second to one of your guys

Chorus:

-I don’t expect you to be perfect mommy

-I just want you to love and hold me, oh please

-Why can’t you be the mom that I need, oh please

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

Verse 2:

-Mom, i’m in so much pain, I don’t know what to do

-I feel so disrespected and rejected by you

-I only wish that you cared or had some kind of clue

-Of how much your abandonment has hurt me, left me battered and blue

(Chorus)

Verse 3:

-Mom I don’t expect you to bake me chocolate chip cookies

-Or constantly compliment and praise me

-But mom, I do expect you to make a commitment to me

-To show that you want a relationship with me, mommy

-It’s not really asking too much of you mommy

-For god’s sake, i’m your kid, I deserve this mommy

(Chorus)

Verse 4:

-Mom, I would never do this to someone I love

-I pray every night to God in heaven above

-That you’ll open your heart to me, cause’ it’s all I dream of

-And be the mom that I need, someone i’m really proud of

-Cause mom i’m not takin’ it anymore from you, i’ve had enough

-I love you, but I love myself more

-Enough to kiss you goodbye and show you the door

-But mom, I always hope that you’ll remember that……

Extended Chorus:

-I don’t expect you to be perfect mommy

-I just want you to love and hold me, oh please

-Why can’t you be the mom that I need, oh please

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-And if you ever grow up and wanna’ be a mama to me, mom please call me

A Mama To Me?

Verse 1:

Bottles and Luvs diapers everywhere,

Sleepless nights, disheveled hair,

Baby shakes rattle, baby shakes rattle,

Houseful of kids who luvs to tattle,

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

Verse 2:

My biological clock is going tick tock tick tock,

My obsession is reading aloud to my kids, "Hickory Dickory Dock,"

Sex, pregnancy and a whole bunch of recorded videotape,

Happy Halloween Mommy, how do I look all dressed up as Superman in my red cape,

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

Verse 3:

So big boy I hope you got the message and that I made myself crystal clear,

Okay Mama, let's make a baby is the only thing that I want to hear,

Because boy oh boy or should I say girl oh girl I am oh so ready for this,

Lover, take me in your arms and let's start this baby-making party off with a kiss!

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

I want a baby!

I Got Baby Fever!

Verse 1:
Chorus:
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Hey!
I'm a good ol' bee
You can always count on me!

One day Tina was sitting in Math class.
She was so bored, she found herself looking outside the window at the grass.
Right next to it, some kids were sitting on the playground.
Above them a honeybee was flying around.
The kids were drinking milk and eating cinnamon rolls.
And the radio was playing some good ol' fashioned rock n' roll.

All of a sudden the honeybee stopped flying around.
And sat down by the radio which was on the ground.
The honeybee stayed through three rock n' roll songs.
Then moved on when the kids started playing a game of ping pong.

All of a sudden an idea hit Tina right away.
She was so excited she could hardly wait for the end of the school day.
The idea was about a cute little honeybee.
That was later to be me, Rock N' Roll Honeybee.

Chorus:
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Hey!
I'm a good ol' bee
You can always count on me!

Verse 2:
Once Tina got home, she worked on Rock N' Roll Honeybee right away.
She even skipped dinner, it didn't matter because she wasn't hungry anyway.
Three hours later, Tina looked at the finished picture of Rock N' Roll Honeybee.
Her smile was bright, she was so very happy.

Rock N' Roll Honeybee's body was striped black and yellow.
He was quite an amazing looking fellow.
Rock N' Roll Honeybee had all the things a normal honeybee had.
But he also had a lot of other things that would make all the other honeybees mad.

On paper, Rock N' Roll Honeybee looked so very small.
But if he were real, he'd be six feet tall.
Rock N' Roll Honeybee had beautiful, long blonde hair.
To keep it off his face, a black leather scarf tied around it he would wear.
His eyebrows were blonde and very thick.
He kept them that way because he didn't want to get a cut or nick.

Rock N' Roll Honeybee had big oval black eyes.
When you looked into them, you knew he would tell you no lies.
Rock N' Roll Honeybee had a small black button nose.
When it was cold, turned the color of a bright red rose.
You would see his beautiful white teeth whenever he would smile.
To keep them that way, he brushed them 3 times a day for quite awhile.

A small silver earring in the shape of a star hung from his left ear.
He wore that earring proudly as part of his gear.
Rock N' Roll Honeybee wore a shiny black leather jacket.
When he moved it made a whole lot of racket.
His black leather jacket also covered up his big white wings.
He didn't need them to fly, he barely had use for the things.
On his hands, legs, arms, and feet he wore black leather.
All his clothes went perfectly together.

Tina looked happily at the picture she had come to adore.
But something was troubling her, because deep down in her heart she knew that she could do so much more.
Tina began to daydream about where Rock N' Roll Honeybee would live and what kinds of things he would do.
Tina quickly went back to work because she wasn't even close to being through.
Three hours later, Tina had filled a sheet of notebook paper of things about Rock N' Roll Honeybee.
Tina smiled even brighter, she was even more happy.

His full name was Rock N' Roll Honeybee.
But his nickname was "Rock" for short, you see.
Rock lived on a small, invisible, magical planet named Colony Park.
Where everyday spent there was such fun, a tremendous lark.
Rock was very popular, especially with the girl bees.
About this his boy bee friends would always tease.

Rock N' Roll Honeybee was so very hip and cool.
He always told kids to stay and study hard in school.
When you looked at him you saw nothing but good.
He was the kind of person that welcomed you to the neighborhood.
Rock N' Roll Honeybee was a bee who would never sting.
Instead he liked to use his beautiful voice to sing.
His hobbies were riding motorcycles and playing the electric guitar.
His dream was one day to become a famous rock star.

His favorite music was of course, rock n' roll.
But he liked all kinds of music, because music was in his heart and soul.
Rock also had special magical powers.
He could do things in a second, that would take most people hours.
He came into a room by a big bright yellow cloud.
Then a special song Tina had written would start to play very loud.
After the song was finished, the cloud would disappear.
And standing where the cloud had been, Rock N' Roll Honeybee would appear.

Tina looked at the picture and the sheet of notebook paper on her desk with pride.
She was so very happy deep down inside.
For the next hour, all Tina did was daydream about Rock N' Roll Honeybee.
But then her stomach growled, so she went downstairs to get something to eat because she was suddenly very hungry.
After Tina ate, she took a bath, and climbed happily into bed.
But after a couple hours of tossing and turning, she couldn't get to sleep because visions of Rock N' Roll Honeybee filled her head.

Tina could hardly believe that only today she had created Rock N' Roll Honeybee.
But she knew with all her heart she already loved him so very dearly.
"Gee, Rock N' Roll Honeybee, I wish that you were real!"
Then an idea hit Tina that made her squeal.
Tina jumped out of bed, put her robe and slippers on.
Tina shook a penny out of her piggy bank, opened her bedroom window and in a flash she was gone.

Ten minutes later, Tina stood in front of the wishing fountain in Baker Park.
Tina was a little scared because it was so very dark.
Tina slowly took a fresh breath of air in.
Then quickly threw the penny in.
The penny hit the bottom of the fountain with a soft plink.
Then a second later, Tina saw something that made her eyes three times blink.
A big bright yellow cloud appeared right next to the fountain out of the blue.
Tina's mouth fell open, she was shocked and didn't know what to do.
Then the Rock N' Roll Honeybee Song started to play.

Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Hey!
I'm a good ol' bee
You can always count on me!

Tina got scared, she turned and ran away.
After the song was finished the cloud disappeared.
And standing where the cloud had been Rock suddenly appeared.
Rock saw Tina and said, "Tina you don't have to run away."
"Just say the word and I'll simply go away."
Tina stopped running and turned slowly around.
She didn't even notice that she was standing on top of the pitcher's mound.

Tina asked, "Rock, is it really you?"
Rock nodded his head and said, "Yes Tina, it's true."
Tina asked shyly, "Rock N' Roll Honeybee may I please hug you?"
Rock smiled and said, "Oh yes! Tina please do!"
Tina smiled and ran over to Rock N' Roll Honeybee.
She threw her arms around his waist and hugged him very tightly.
A few minutes later, Tina looked up at Rock with a question in her big brown eyes.
She looked so sweet she made Rock want to cry.
"Rock N' Roll Honeybee, how did you come to life, I mean however did you come to be."
"Tina, I came to be because you believed and you really loved me."

Chorus:
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Hey!
I'm a good ol' bee
You can always count on me!

Verse 3:

"Rock N' Roll Honeybee, I don't understand, you came to be because I believed and I really loved you?"
Rock nodded his head, "Yes Tina, that's true."
Tina frowned, "Rock, I still don't understand what you mean."
"I know you don't kiddo, so I'm going to explain it to you, and in a minute you'll understand because your pretty keen."

"You see Tina, the wishing fountain in Baker Park is a magical fountain."
"It can grant any wish, even a wish to move the Rocky Mountains."
"But there are two things you must do."
"Or your wish will not come true."
"First, you must believe that the fountain can really grant your wish."
"That it is not fake and filled with just fish."
"Second, your wish must be made with true love."
"A love so strong that it was sent down from heaven above."
"Tina, always remember that LOVE IS A VERY POWERFUL THING!"
"LOVE CAN DO ANYTHING!"

"So you see Tina, those are the two things you must do."
"For your wish to come true."
"And Tina, you did what you were supposed to do."
"So your wish came true."
"Tina, your love for me was so strong, that it could do anything."
"Like I said before, LOVE CAN DO ANYTHING!"
Tina thought about what Rock had just said. Alot was going through her head.

Tina knew 100 percent that she loved Rock N' Roll Honeybee and wanted him to come to life with all of her heart.
He was real to her, not just some stupid drawing she had made, not just a piece of art.
"And Tina, this time, you really believed that the wishing well was real, AND IT IS REAL, that it was not fake."
"Tonight, you didn't listen to the bad stuff that some people say about the well, or the other bad comments they make."
Rock pointed, "Tonight, you didn't even pay attention to the sign."
"You went ahead and made your wish, you didn't buy that corny line."
Tina looked up and for the one millionth time in her life and read the corny sign.

"THE BAKER PARK WISHING WELL AND FOUNTAIN INVITES YOU TO THROW A PENNY IN AND MAKE A WISH, AND YOU'LL COME OUT LOOKING AND SMELLING LIKE ONE OF THESE FISH."
Tina and her friends thought that was such a stupid and corny line.
"Yeah, right!" Like they would really come out looking and smelling like a fish if they threw a penny in a well.
They never believed that, it was such a tough sell.
Tina looked at all the fish in the Baker Park Wishing Well swimming around.
And looked at all the pennies on the wishing well ground.
Tina suddenly thought, "Rock N' Roll Honeybee was right!"
Tina suddenly saw the light.

Tonight, Tina didn't pay any attention to the sign because she wanted her wish to come true.
So for once, she did believe the fountain was real, but at the time she had no clue.
Tina smiled brightly and hugged Rock again.
She was so happy, surely it must be a sin.
She now knew that she did everything she was supposed to do.
So her wish came true.
Tina said, "Now, Rock N' Roll Honeybee I understand, now I see."
"I now understand how you came to be."

"Now, Rock N' Roll Honeybee I want to hear all about you."
"And please don't stop until you are through."
"Okay Tina, but not tonight."
"Kiddo, you should be in bed with the covers tight."
For a minute, Tina felt like such a fool.
It was very late and tomorrow she had to get up early and go to school.
Rock then took Tina's chin in his right hand and looked her in the eye.
For a moment, Tina was very shy.
Rock said, "Tina, I want you to promise me that you will never go out by yourself so late at night."
Tina promised Rock because she knew that he was right.

"Okay, I promise never to do it again, Rock N' Roll Honeybee."
Rock said, "I know you won't, honey."
"But, Rock N' Roll Honeybee, when are we going to talk?"
"Tina, tomorrow after school we will talk and take a little walk."
"Gee Tina, I hope that is okay?"
Tina jumped up into the air and yelled, "Hooray!"
Tina and Rock walked back to her house hand in hand.
She was so happy, she felt like hiring a marching band.
Ten minutes later, Rock put Tina in her bed.
Then kissed her gently on the forehead.

"Goodnight my sweet little Tina."
"Tomorrow I will see ya'."
"Goodnight Rock N' Roll Honeybee."
"I really do love you so very dearly."
"Thank you Tina, I really love you too."
"Now you get some sleep and tomorrow we'll have a lot of fun, just me and you."
"And Tina, remember if you ever need me."
"Just say three times, Rock N' Roll Honeybee."
"Tina always remember that I am a good ol' bee."
"You and anyone else can always count on Rock N' Roll Honeybee."

Chorus:
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Hey!
I'm a good ol' bee
You can always count on me!

Verse 4:

Well kids, I hope you enjoyed the story and song.
I hope you thought it was good and not so very long.
Kids, this is not the last time you will hear from Tina and me.
Kids watch for more adventures with Rock N' Roll Honeybee.
Kids I must say one last thing before I go.
After reading my story and singing my song you should already know.
Knock, knock, kids guess who really loves you?
Times up, Rock N' Roll Honeybee, that's who!

Chorus:
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Rock, Rock, Rock
Rock N' Roll Honeybee
Hey!
I'm a good ol' bee
You can always count on me!

THE END

Rock N' Roll Honeybee Song

(VERSE 1)

-Valentine’s Day, oh boy, the kinky love,
-My baby’s gonna’ spank my nasty-ass with his ultra-ribbed pleasure glove,
-Fxxxing, bucking and sucking all of those yummy chocolate-covered balls,
-Oh god, oh god, oh god, I just love having sex with my baby after hearing steamy-ass 1900 calls,
-Because . . . . . . . . . .

(CHORUS)

-I love you,
-I want you,
-I need you, Lovey Boo,
-I know this shit sounds mushy, gushy,
-But it’s true, Lovey Boo,
-Happy Valentine’s Day to you my sweet, Lovey Boo,
-P.S. Be sure to preserve your strength because tonight i’m gonna’ fxxx the shit outta’ you,
-Cause’ I love you and I always will my sweet, Lovey Boo!

(VERSE 2)

-Valentine’s Day, oh girl, the hot and healthy sex,
-My honey’s gonna’ sprinkle my body all over with some tasty-ass yogurt-covered wheat chex,
-Sniffin’, ticklin’ and lickin’ all of those edible cherry-flavored red roses and pussy willows,
-Oh god, oh god, oh god, I just love comin’ in my honey’s mouth while propped up on her heart-shaped red satin pillows,
-Because . . . . . . . . . .

(CHORUS)

-I love you,
-I want you,
-I need you, Lovey Boo,
-I know this shit sounds mushy, gushy,
-But it’s true, Lovey Boo,
-Happy Valentine’s Day to you my sweet, Lovey Boo,
-P.S. Be sure to preserve your strength because tonight i’m gonna’ fxxx the shit outta’ you,
-Cause’ I love you and I always will my sweet, Lovey Boo!

(VERSE 3)

-Well, my sweet, as Valentine’s Day and night comes to a close,
-Of course I want to thank you for having sex with me and taking off all of your clothes,
-Cause’ baby when it comes to phenomenal sex me and only heaven knows,
-That you are perfection and make me feel so damn good from my head to my toes,
-And that’s why . . . . . . . . . .

(CHORUS)

-I love you,
-I want you,
-I need you, Lovey Boo,
-I know this shit sounds mushy, gushy,
-But it’s true, Lovey Boo,
-Happy Valentine’s Day to you my sweet, Lovey Boo,
-P.S. Be sure to preserve your strength because tonight i’m gonna’ fxxx the shit outta’ you,
-Cause’ I love you and I always will my sweet, Lovey Boo!

(VERSE 4)

-But seriously my love, now, I want to thank you by going all old school on your sexy, delectable-ass,
-When I was a kid on Valentine’s Day, I just loved getting miniature greeting cards and boxes of candy hearts with messages on them in class,
-So here’s my sweet-ass heart-shaped “let’s go steady so we can hold hands” candy-coated inscribed verbal message expressly for you,
-No matter whether it’s Valentine’s Day or any ol’ regular day of the year, I just want you to know that I will forever love you and sometimes wanna’ fxxx you, my sweet Lovey Boo!
-Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Just kidding! And without further sexual ado . . . . . . . . . .

(CHORUS)

-I love you,
-I want you,
-I need you, Lovey Boo,
-I know this shit sounds mushy, gushy,
-But it’s true, Lovey Boo,
-Happy Valentine’s Day to you my sweet, Lovey Boo,
-P.S. Be sure to preserve your strength because tonight i’m gonna’ fxxx the shit outta’ you,
-Cause’ I love you and I always will my sweet, Lovey Boo!

Lovey Boo

Oh, no,

Oh why did you have to go,

Folks, Friday, June 29th 2012 will mark the one year anniversary of the death of an industry giant, yo,

And for all of you folks not in the loop or in the know,

Former mail order giant, Columbia House Record Club quietly closed their dusty-ass cobwebbed doors, oh no baby, say it ain’t so,

Hey ya’ll here’s the 411 on a company who got kicked to the curb by Napster and was unable to make any dough,

For a down payment of a mere penny, 12 records or cassettes were shipped a few weeks later to an average joe,

And from the fifties to the nineties youngins all over the country like me got to shake their groove things, ho,

I personally received my 12 cassettes back in the 80?s consisting of Lionel Ritchie, Culture Club and Michael Jackson complete with his greasy-ass jheri curl fro,

And for many a year Columbia House was rollin’ in the deep makin’ them benjamins from head to toe,

But folks what goes up must also come down baby and for Columbia House they hit rock bottom, oh them bitches sunk low,

Napster, non-payments by club members and because of the high costs of hiring collection agencies to recoup their precious dough,

Columbia House Record Club folded faster than a house of cards and became a forgotten footnote in pop culture history bro,

Well at least until now yo,

Unfortunately it’s been 30 years since I stiffed you guys on the 12 cassettes so…

I wrote this song for you to try to make up for it so I hope this Columbia House Record Club will make us friends not foe,

Goodbye to you Columbia House Record Club you had a damn good ride and made one hell of a successful go,

Cheerio to you, my beautiful beau!

So damn sorry that I forgot about you before I could pay you what I owe!

Columbia House Record Club


About Me

Bio

I love black olives, the internet and cute shoes all in that order and don’t you forget it!

I hate guys who abuse women, beets and Omarosa from The Apprentice not necessarily in that order and don’t you forget that either!

I have been writing for over 25 years and I love it!

I have been creating prose photography for a couple of years now and I love it too!

CV/History

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Contact

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