Tina Knowledgeable Peden

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Tina Knowledgeable Peden

Verse 1:
-Sometimes hate to turn on the tv
-Open a magazine
-Because all I mostly see
-Are images of beautiful people
-That I know i’ll never be
-And what truly amazes me
-That deep down it don’t bother me cause……

Chorus:
-I’m so glad to be imperfect
-Ain’t no flies on me
-I don’t have the perfect body
-Ya’ know the ones you see on tv
-But at least I don’t have their worries
-That’s why it don’t really bother me
-Because i’m glad to be imperfect
-I’m happy to be just me

Verse 2:
-I ain’t going to lie
-So many times i’ve wanted the perfect body
-Have my pics in all the magazines
-Be put on a pedestal for all the world to see
-But I began to wonder if that would really make me happy
-Cause’ with perfection comes a different set of problems
-Ones I damn well don’t want or need
-That’s when I learned to accept my imperfections fully
-And found out it’s not so bad to be imperfect
-It’s okay to be plain ole’ fabulous me
-That’s why……

Chorus:
-I’m so glad to be imperfect
-Ain’t no flies on me
-I don’t have the perfect body
-Ya’ know the ones you see on tv
-But at least I don’t have their worries
-That’s why it don’t really bother me
-Because i’m glad to be imperfect
-I’m happy to be just me

IMPERFECT

Verse 1:

-Mom, I sit here with tears in my eyes

-Wondering for the millionth time, why oh why

-Why my needs always come second to one of your guys

Chorus:

-I don’t expect you to be perfect mommy

-I just want you to love and hold me, oh please

-Why can’t you be the mom that I need, oh please

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

Verse 2:

-Mom, i’m in so much pain, I don’t know what to do

-I feel so disrespected and rejected by you

-I only wish that you cared or had some kind of clue

-Of how much your abandonment has hurt me, left me battered and blue

(Chorus)

Verse 3:

-Mom I don’t expect you to bake me chocolate chip cookies

-Or constantly compliment and praise me

-But mom, I do expect you to make a commitment to me

-To show that you want a relationship with me, mommy

-It’s not really asking too much of you mommy

-For god’s sake, i’m your kid, I deserve this mommy

(Chorus)

Verse 4:

-Mom, I would never do this to someone I love

-I pray every night to God in heaven above

-That you’ll open your heart to me, cause’ it’s all I dream of

-And be the mom that I need, someone i’m really proud of

-Cause mom i’m not takin’ it anymore from you, i’ve had enough

-I love you, but I love myself more

-Enough to kiss you goodbye and show you the door

-But mom, I always hope that you’ll remember that……

Extended Chorus:

-I don’t expect you to be perfect mommy

-I just want you to love and hold me, oh please

-Why can’t you be the mom that I need, oh please

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-And if you ever grow up and wanna’ be a mama to me, mom please call me

A Mama To Me?

Verse 1:

Bottles and Luvs diapers everywhere,

Sleepless nights, disheveled hair,

Baby shakes rattle, baby shakes rattle,

Houseful of kids who luvs to tattle,

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

Verse 2:

My biological clock is going tick tock tick tock,

My obsession is reading aloud to my kids, "Hickory Dickory Dock,"

Sex, pregnancy and a whole bunch of recorded videotape,

Happy Halloween Mommy, how do I look all dressed up as Superman in my red cape,

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

Verse 3:

So big boy I hope you got the message and that I made myself crystal clear,

Okay Mama, let's make a baby is the only thing that I want to hear,

Because boy oh boy or should I say girl oh girl I am oh so ready for this,

Lover, take me in your arms and let's start this baby-making party off with a kiss!

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

I want a baby!

I Got Baby Fever!


Latest Uploads

Verse 1:
-Sometimes hate to turn on the tv
-Open a magazine
-Because all I mostly see
-Are images of beautiful people
-That I know i’ll never be
-And what truly amazes me
-That deep down it don’t bother me cause……

Chorus:
-I’m so glad to be imperfect
-Ain’t no flies on me
-I don’t have the perfect body
-Ya’ know the ones you see on tv
-But at least I don’t have their worries
-That’s why it don’t really bother me
-Because i’m glad to be imperfect
-I’m happy to be just me

Verse 2:
-I ain’t going to lie
-So many times i’ve wanted the perfect body
-Have my pics in all the magazines
-Be put on a pedestal for all the world to see
-But I began to wonder if that would really make me happy
-Cause’ with perfection comes a different set of problems
-Ones I damn well don’t want or need
-That’s when I learned to accept my imperfections fully
-And found out it’s not so bad to be imperfect
-It’s okay to be plain ole’ fabulous me
-That’s why……

Chorus:
-I’m so glad to be imperfect
-Ain’t no flies on me
-I don’t have the perfect body
-Ya’ know the ones you see on tv
-But at least I don’t have their worries
-That’s why it don’t really bother me
-Because i’m glad to be imperfect
-I’m happy to be just me

IMPERFECT

Verse 1:

-Mom, I sit here with tears in my eyes

-Wondering for the millionth time, why oh why

-Why my needs always come second to one of your guys

Chorus:

-I don’t expect you to be perfect mommy

-I just want you to love and hold me, oh please

-Why can’t you be the mom that I need, oh please

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

Verse 2:

-Mom, i’m in so much pain, I don’t know what to do

-I feel so disrespected and rejected by you

-I only wish that you cared or had some kind of clue

-Of how much your abandonment has hurt me, left me battered and blue

(Chorus)

Verse 3:

-Mom I don’t expect you to bake me chocolate chip cookies

-Or constantly compliment and praise me

-But mom, I do expect you to make a commitment to me

-To show that you want a relationship with me, mommy

-It’s not really asking too much of you mommy

-For god’s sake, i’m your kid, I deserve this mommy

(Chorus)

Verse 4:

-Mom, I would never do this to someone I love

-I pray every night to God in heaven above

-That you’ll open your heart to me, cause’ it’s all I dream of

-And be the mom that I need, someone i’m really proud of

-Cause mom i’m not takin’ it anymore from you, i’ve had enough

-I love you, but I love myself more

-Enough to kiss you goodbye and show you the door

-But mom, I always hope that you’ll remember that……

Extended Chorus:

-I don’t expect you to be perfect mommy

-I just want you to love and hold me, oh please

-Why can’t you be the mom that I need, oh please

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-And if you ever grow up and wanna’ be a mama to me, mom please call me

A Mama To Me?

Verse 1:

Bottles and Luvs diapers everywhere,

Sleepless nights, disheveled hair,

Baby shakes rattle, baby shakes rattle,

Houseful of kids who luvs to tattle,

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

Verse 2:

My biological clock is going tick tock tick tock,

My obsession is reading aloud to my kids, "Hickory Dickory Dock,"

Sex, pregnancy and a whole bunch of recorded videotape,

Happy Halloween Mommy, how do I look all dressed up as Superman in my red cape,

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

Verse 3:

So big boy I hope you got the message and that I made myself crystal clear,

Okay Mama, let's make a baby is the only thing that I want to hear,

Because boy oh boy or should I say girl oh girl I am oh so ready for this,

Lover, take me in your arms and let's start this baby-making party off with a kiss!

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

I want a baby!

I Got Baby Fever!

Verse 1:
-Spectacular in the sheets
-Likes sex, is always in heat
-Big-breasted with fake spray tan
-No conscience, will steal your man
-Tramp stamp across her lower back
-Ha! Ha! She’s the first one to get whacked

Chorus:
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-Gloria Steinem, the feminist foe
-Without her, where’s a psycho killer to go
-Beyond stupid, magic 8 ball says it is decidedly so
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-We salute ya, you dumb little bimbo

Verse 2:
-When chased, she always falls down
-Stalked by a slow-walking clown
-She’s part of the coolest clique
-Killed early in the movie by a big-ass ice pick
-Constantly makes fun of an innocent virgin
-Ha! Ha! That’s her upper body stuffed in a trash bin

Chorus:
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-Gloria Steinem, the feminist foe
-Without her, where’s a psycho killer to go
-Beyond stupid, magic 8 ball says it is decidedly so
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-We salute ya, you dumb little bimbo

Verse 3:
-She’s needed to provide some jiggle
-Her antics provide plenty of giggles
-How can anyone be so dumb
-Don’t just stand there run, lose the bubble gum
-We will always love her cause’ she’s so dense
-So long honey, we only wish you had a little common sense

Chorus:
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-Gloria Steinem, the feminist foe
-Without her, where’s a psycho killer to go
-Beyond stupid, magic 8 ball says it is decidedly so
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-We salute ya, you dumb little bimbo

Horror Movie Ho

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a bang, bang, crashety, crashety,
-Bang, bang, crashety, crashety,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want drum,
-To play with while I loudly hum,
-With a bang, bang, crashety, crashety,
-Bang, bang, crashety, crashety,

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a cry, cry, pee pee, pee pee,
-Cry, cry, pee pee, pee pee,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want doll,
-To hold while I am at the mall,
-With a cry, cry, pee pee, pee pee,
-Cry, cry, pee pee, pee pee,

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a wuf, wuf, diggity, diggity,
-Wuf, wuf, diggity, diggity,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want bone,
-To bury along with Dad's new cell phone,
-With a wuf, wuf, diggity, diggity,
-Wuf, wuf, diggity, diggity,

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a cheese, cheese, squeaky, squeaky,
-Cheese, cheese, squeaky, squeaky,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want mouse,
-To chase all over this big ol' house,
-With a cheese, cheese, squeaky, squeaky,
-Cheese, cheese, squeaky, squeaky,

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a click, click, clackety, clackety,
-Click, click, clackety, clackety,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want shoe,
-In black, red, pink and baby blue,
-With a click, click, clackety, clackety,
-Click, click, clackety, clackety,

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a vroom, vroom, boomie, boomie,
-Vroom, vroom, boomie, boomie,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want car,
-So I can feel like a NASCAR star,
-With a vroom, vroom, boomie, boomie,
-Vroom, vroom, boomie, boomie,

-Santa, Santa, it's now up to you,
-To make a wish or two come true,
-But if you can't I will not sue,
-Cause' Christmas is not only about gifts, boo boo,
-It's about celebrating Jesus Christ's love for you,
-So Santa baby follow your heart thru and thru,
-And do whatever it is that you have to do,
-Cause' this family will always love and cherish you,
-Merry Christmas, Santa and a shout out to the Mrs., elves and reindeer too!

Santa, Santa

Verse 1:

-Leather pants crotch perspire,
-Hell no punk we won't hire,
-Boy, you a girl with that long-ass hair,
-Dude, screw you, I do what I want, I don't care,

Chorus:

-Cause' rock n' roll is my fashion,
-No code of conduct, rebel bastion,
-Like little black dress always gonna' be in style,
-Dude, I need hairspray and nail polish from that aisle,
-One size definitely does not fit all,
-Drives Tipper Gore and PMRC up a wall,
-That's why I will always love rock n' roll,
-Hail, hail, sex, drugs and rock n' roll,
-And don't forget the almighty stripper pole!

Verse 2:

-Guitar lessons electric guitar,
-Beautiful women expensive car,
-Love rocking out with my cock out on stage with many a fan,
-Screw concussion from getting hit in head with beer can,

Chorus:

-Cause' rock n' roll is my fashion,
-No code of conduct, rebel bastion,
-Like little black dress always gonna' be in style,
-Dude, I need hairspray and nail polish from that aisle,
-One size definitely does not fit all,
-Drives Tipper Gore and PMRC up a wall,
-That's why I will always love rock n' roll,
-Hail, hail, sex, drugs and rock n' roll,
-And don't forget the almighty stripper pole!

Verse 3:

-Belly shirt tight knits,
-Fake or real sized tits,
-Do you wanna' touch me there, Joan Jett,
-Open up and say ahh gonna' make you wet,

Chorus:

-Cause' rock n' roll is my fashion,
-No code of conduct, rebel bastion,
-Like little black dress always gonna' be in style,
-Dudette, I need hairspray and nail polish from that aisle,
-One size definitely does not fit all,
-Drives Tipper Gore and PMRC up a wall,
-That's why I will always love rock n' roll,
-Hail, hail, sex, drugs and rock n' roll,
-And don't forget the almighty stripper pole!

Verse 4:

-Ann Nancy love heart,
-Amateur chick group start,
-We got the beat Belinda Carlisle go, go, go,
-We comeback Tina Turner style yo, yo, yo,

Chorus:

-Cause' rock n' roll is my fashion,
-No code of conduct, rebel bastion,
-Like little black dress always gonna' be in style,
-Dudette, I need hairspray and nail polish from that aisle,
-One size definitely does not fit all,
-Drives Tipper Gore and PMRC up a wall,
-That's why I will always love rock n' roll,
-Hail, hail, sex, drugs and rock n' roll,
-And don't forget the almighty stripper pole!

Verse 5:

-Devil horns, metal manner,
-Jimi Hendrix, Star Spangled Banner,
-Counter culture, the flower child, Woodstock 69,
-Don't arrest me pig sign sign can't you read the sign,

Chorus:

-Cause' rock n' roll is my fashion,
-No code of conduct, rebel bastion,
-Like little black dress always gonna' be in style,
-Dude, I need hairspray and nail polish from that aisle,
-One size definitely does not fit all,
-Drives Tipper Gore and PMRC up a wall,
-That's why I will always love rock n' roll,
-Hail, hail, sex, drugs and rock n' roll,
-And don't forget the almighty stripper pole!

Verse 6:

-So haters before you throw a rolling stone,
-Don't treat rockers like they're from the twilight zone,
-Remember all people dance to a different and unique beat,
-Practice that then we'll all dance through life without two left feet,
-Just rock on rock on rock on rock on rock on rock on Bach Sebastian,
-Just do it rock n' roll style with a lot of piss and vinegar passion,

Chorus:

-Cause' rock n' roll is my fashion,
-No code of conduct, rebel bastion,
-Like little black dress always gonna' be in style,
-Dudette, I need hairspray and nail polish from that aisle,
-One size definitely does not fit all,
-Drives Tipper Gore and PMRC up a wall,
-That's why I will always love rock n' roll,
-Hail, hail, sex, drugs and rock n' roll,
-And don't forget the almighty stripper pole!

Rock n' Roll is my Fashion

Verse 1:

-More tea, my lady,
-Thank you, mummy,
-You look beautiful in that frock from my wardrobe, my lady,
-Thank you, mummy,
-Do you need to go to the loo, my lady,
-No thank you, mummy,
-Time to check the chocolate chip scones from the oven, my lady,
-Must you really, mummy,
-Do you want them to burn, my lady,
-Now you're really being cheeky, mummy,

Chorus:

-Scones and tea,
-Make me feel like aristocratic royalty,
-Having so much fun with mummy,
-Keep playing forever with me,
-At my fairy tale afternoon tea party,
-Build mummy/daughter cherished memory,
-In photo album for all the world to see,
-Happy Mother's Day, I love you mummy,

Verse 2:

-Do you want to do the waltz now, my lady,
-Yes I do, daddy,
-Do you want me to fight that big ol' dragon now, my lady,
-Yes I do, daddy,
-Do you want me to crown you with this pink tiara now, my lady,
-Yes I do, daddy,
-After all of this hard work can I get some hugs and kisses from you now, my lady,
-Is it something that you feel strongly about and truly need from me, daddy,
-Good god yes, my beloved and extremely cheeky little lady,
-Then I shall come forth and proceed but since we still have lots to do I will make it quick, daddy,

Chorus:

-Scones and tea,
-Make me feel like aristocratic royalty,
-Having so much fun with daddy,
-Keep playing forever with me,
-At my fairy tale afternoon tea party,
-Build daddy/daughter cherished memory,
-In photo album for all the world to see,
-Happy Father's Day, I love you daddy,

Scones and Tea

(Song Instructions: This song should be performed in a spoken word format to the music from the movie, Psycho which starred Anthony Perkins and Janet Leigh. Also, try to use as many special effects as you can while performing the song and don’t forget to speak the words of this song into a large butcher knife. P.S. Try not to take your eye, nose or tongue out! At the end of your performance of this spoken word song be sure to hand out as gifts to your audience plenty of toilet paper, Sheryl Crow cd’s and Hershey Bars. Below are additional tips to enhance your performance of this spoken word song.)

(VERSE 1)
“From mild-mannered school teacher to smokin’ hot grammy award-winning vocalist.”
“Where did it all go so terribly wrong?”
“SHERYL CROW, PORTRAIT OF A P-E-R-F-O-R-A-T-E-D P-S-Y-C-H-O!”
“Tear it off on the dotted line, bitch!”
(Spoken word artist should say the above line in a mocking/sarcastic voice.)

(VERSE 2)
“To Lance Armstrong bike ornament to break-up with Lance Armstrong roadkill.”
(Suggested Sound Effects: Include a female scream followed by a loud crash after “roadkill.”)
“Where did it all go so terribly wrong?”
“SHERYL CROW, PORTRAIT OF A P-E-R-F-O-R-A-T-E-D P-S-Y-C-H-O!”
“Tear it off on the dotted line, bitch!”
(Spoken word artist should say the above line in a mocking/sarcastic voice.)

(VERSE 3)
“She seemed so sweet.” (Evil Laugh.) “Ha! Ha! Ha!”
“She seemed so tame.” (Evil Laugh.) “Ha! Ha! Ha!”
“Nobody knew that this bitch was insane!” (Evil Laugh.) “Ha! Ha! Ha!”
“SHERYL CROW, PORTRAIT OF A P-E-R-F-O-R-A-T-E-D P-S-Y-C-H-O!”
“Tear it off on the dotted line, bitch!”
(Spoken word artist should say the above line in a mocking/sarcastic voice.)

(VERSE 4)
“Oh Sheryl, Sheryl, Sheryl, what the hell happened?
“Oh Sheryl, when did it all go so terribly wrong?”
“Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! I know! I know! I know!”
(Spoken word artist should say the above line in an Arnold Horshack-Welcome Back, Kotter voice. To get into character, spoken word artist might want to practice frantically waving his hand in the air in front of a mirror to see how stupid they look.)
“Well, according to most experts and Arnold Horshack of Welcome Back, Kotter fame, April 19, 2007 was the day when Sheryl Crow went totally P-e-r-f-o-r-a-t-e-d P-s-y-c-h-o on our ass!”
“Tear it off on the dotted line, bitch!”
(Spoken word artist should say the above line in a mocking/sarcastic voice.)
“April 19, 2007, a day that will live in infamy!”
“It is the day when Sheryl Crow uttered these words.”
(Spoken word artist should take on a Sheryl Crow-like voice when reciting the next line.)
“I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit except of course on those pesky occasions where two or three squares could be required.”
“Experts believe that with these ill-fated words, Sheryl Crow sealed her fate as one of the biggest laughingstock’s in history!”
“Case in point, this song!”
“Tear it off on the dotted line, bitch!”
(Spoken word artist should say the above line in a mocking/sarcastic voice.)

(VERSE 5)
“Sheryl Crow, a woman scorned, a woman out-of-control and a woman out of her damn mind if she thinks that i’m only going to use three squares of toilet paper after I take a dump!”
“This bitch is c-r-a-z-y!”
“Sheryl, can kiss my 800 toilet paper square-wiped ass!”
“Tear it off on the dotted line, bitch!”
(Spoken word artist should say the above line in a mocking/sarcastic voice.)

(VERSE 6)
“Frustrated, hurt and pissed off at the world for not limiting their toilet paper use to three squares per restroom visit, Sheryl Crow had had enough!”
“She reached her breaking point!”
“The chick finally snapped!”
(Suggested Sound Effects: Play the sound of a snapped item like a pencil, twig or carrot after this line.)
“It was right then and there that Sheryl Crow decided to get revenge the only way that she knew how.”
“Sheryl Crow decided to get revenge the “P-E-R-F-O-R-A-T-E-D P-S-Y-C-H-O” way!”
(Evil laugh.) “Ha! Ha! Ha!”
“Tear it off on the dotted line, bitch!”
(Spoken word artist should say the above line in a mocking/sarcastic voice.)

(VERSE 7)
“Sheryl, quickly gathered together what was left of the few fans that she had after that “limit toilet paper to three squares per restroom visit bullshit” and did the unthinkable!”
“That’s right, Sheryl Crow convinced her fans to sneak into chocolate factories and carve three dotted lines into all of the chocolate candy bars in the world so that they would be “P-E-R-F-O-R-A-T-E-D!)”
(Evil Laugh.) “Ha! Ha! Ha!”
(Spoken word artist should recite the next line in a Sheryl Crow-like voice.)
“I got you guys! I got you guys, good! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! That’ll teach you, that’ll teach you to mess with Sheryl Crow!”
“Tear it off on the dotted line, bitch or suffer the consequences!”
(Spoken word artist should say the above line in a mocking/sarcastic voice.)

(VERSE 8)

“When probed by reporters about her bizarre revenge slash conspiracy plot Sheryl Crow said that she was inspired by some lyrics from the Alanis Morissette hit song, “You Oughta’ Know.”
“According to Sheryl, the minute that I heard the words, ‘Every time I scratch my nails down someone else’s back I hope you feel it! Well, can you feel it!’ I knew what I had to do.”
“Now every time a person tears off a piece of chocolate on the dotted line, I want them to feel my toilet paper pain. I want them to feel it! I said I want the bastards to feel it! I hope they feel it!”
“Because I, Sheryl Crow, am here to remind you of the mess that you left when you used more than three squares of toilet paper a day! It’s not fair to make fun of me, for the toilet paper conservation cross that I bear that you selfish bastards gave to me! You, you, you oughta’ know, BETTER!”
“And by the by, don’t forget to tear it off on the dotted line, bitch!”
(Spoken word artist should say the above line in a mocking/sarcastic voice.)
(Evil Laugh.) “Ha! Ha! Ha!”

(VERSE 9)
“And that concludes our intimate portrait of Sheryl Crow, Portrait of a P-e-r-f-o-r-a-t-e-d P-s-y-c-h-o. Until next time, goodbye and I hope that you enjoyed the song!”
(Evil laugh.) “Ha! Ha! Ha!”
“And don’t forget to tear the toilet paper and the chocolate off on the dotted line, bitch!”
DISCLAIMER: Nothing in this song should be taken seriously. It is strictly for entertainment purposes only. Plus I love Sheryl Crow! Sheryl, i’ve got nothing but love for you baby! But come on Sheryl, three squares of toilet paper max per restroom visit, bitch p-u-h-l-e-a-s-e!
“There ain’t no way i’m gonna’ tear the toilet paper or the chocolate off on the dotted line, bitch!”
(Spoken word artist should say the above line in a mocking/sarcastic voice.)
“So take that, Sheryl Crow!”
“You perforated psycho!”

Sheryl Crow is a Psycho!

My Uploads

Verse 1:
-Sometimes hate to turn on the tv
-Open a magazine
-Because all I mostly see
-Are images of beautiful people
-That I know i’ll never be
-And what truly amazes me
-That deep down it don’t bother me cause……

Chorus:
-I’m so glad to be imperfect
-Ain’t no flies on me
-I don’t have the perfect body
-Ya’ know the ones you see on tv
-But at least I don’t have their worries
-That’s why it don’t really bother me
-Because i’m glad to be imperfect
-I’m happy to be just me

Verse 2:
-I ain’t going to lie
-So many times i’ve wanted the perfect body
-Have my pics in all the magazines
-Be put on a pedestal for all the world to see
-But I began to wonder if that would really make me happy
-Cause’ with perfection comes a different set of problems
-Ones I damn well don’t want or need
-That’s when I learned to accept my imperfections fully
-And found out it’s not so bad to be imperfect
-It’s okay to be plain ole’ fabulous me
-That’s why……

Chorus:
-I’m so glad to be imperfect
-Ain’t no flies on me
-I don’t have the perfect body
-Ya’ know the ones you see on tv
-But at least I don’t have their worries
-That’s why it don’t really bother me
-Because i’m glad to be imperfect
-I’m happy to be just me

IMPERFECT

Verse 1:

-Mom, I sit here with tears in my eyes

-Wondering for the millionth time, why oh why

-Why my needs always come second to one of your guys

Chorus:

-I don’t expect you to be perfect mommy

-I just want you to love and hold me, oh please

-Why can’t you be the mom that I need, oh please

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

Verse 2:

-Mom, i’m in so much pain, I don’t know what to do

-I feel so disrespected and rejected by you

-I only wish that you cared or had some kind of clue

-Of how much your abandonment has hurt me, left me battered and blue

(Chorus)

Verse 3:

-Mom I don’t expect you to bake me chocolate chip cookies

-Or constantly compliment and praise me

-But mom, I do expect you to make a commitment to me

-To show that you want a relationship with me, mommy

-It’s not really asking too much of you mommy

-For god’s sake, i’m your kid, I deserve this mommy

(Chorus)

Verse 4:

-Mom, I would never do this to someone I love

-I pray every night to God in heaven above

-That you’ll open your heart to me, cause’ it’s all I dream of

-And be the mom that I need, someone i’m really proud of

-Cause mom i’m not takin’ it anymore from you, i’ve had enough

-I love you, but I love myself more

-Enough to kiss you goodbye and show you the door

-But mom, I always hope that you’ll remember that……

Extended Chorus:

-I don’t expect you to be perfect mommy

-I just want you to love and hold me, oh please

-Why can’t you be the mom that I need, oh please

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-And if you ever grow up and wanna’ be a mama to me, mom please call me

A Mama To Me?

Verse 1:

Bottles and Luvs diapers everywhere,

Sleepless nights, disheveled hair,

Baby shakes rattle, baby shakes rattle,

Houseful of kids who luvs to tattle,

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

Verse 2:

My biological clock is going tick tock tick tock,

My obsession is reading aloud to my kids, "Hickory Dickory Dock,"

Sex, pregnancy and a whole bunch of recorded videotape,

Happy Halloween Mommy, how do I look all dressed up as Superman in my red cape,

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

Verse 3:

So big boy I hope you got the message and that I made myself crystal clear,

Okay Mama, let's make a baby is the only thing that I want to hear,

Because boy oh boy or should I say girl oh girl I am oh so ready for this,

Lover, take me in your arms and let's start this baby-making party off with a kiss!

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

I want a baby!

I Got Baby Fever!

Verse 1:
-Spectacular in the sheets
-Likes sex, is always in heat
-Big-breasted with fake spray tan
-No conscience, will steal your man
-Tramp stamp across her lower back
-Ha! Ha! She’s the first one to get whacked

Chorus:
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-Gloria Steinem, the feminist foe
-Without her, where’s a psycho killer to go
-Beyond stupid, magic 8 ball says it is decidedly so
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-We salute ya, you dumb little bimbo

Verse 2:
-When chased, she always falls down
-Stalked by a slow-walking clown
-She’s part of the coolest clique
-Killed early in the movie by a big-ass ice pick
-Constantly makes fun of an innocent virgin
-Ha! Ha! That’s her upper body stuffed in a trash bin

Chorus:
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-Gloria Steinem, the feminist foe
-Without her, where’s a psycho killer to go
-Beyond stupid, magic 8 ball says it is decidedly so
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-We salute ya, you dumb little bimbo

Verse 3:
-She’s needed to provide some jiggle
-Her antics provide plenty of giggles
-How can anyone be so dumb
-Don’t just stand there run, lose the bubble gum
-We will always love her cause’ she’s so dense
-So long honey, we only wish you had a little common sense

Chorus:
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-Gloria Steinem, the feminist foe
-Without her, where’s a psycho killer to go
-Beyond stupid, magic 8 ball says it is decidedly so
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-We salute ya, you dumb little bimbo

Horror Movie Ho

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a bang, bang, crashety, crashety,
-Bang, bang, crashety, crashety,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want drum,
-To play with while I loudly hum,
-With a bang, bang, crashety, crashety,
-Bang, bang, crashety, crashety,

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a cry, cry, pee pee, pee pee,
-Cry, cry, pee pee, pee pee,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want doll,
-To hold while I am at the mall,
-With a cry, cry, pee pee, pee pee,
-Cry, cry, pee pee, pee pee,

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a wuf, wuf, diggity, diggity,
-Wuf, wuf, diggity, diggity,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want bone,
-To bury along with Dad's new cell phone,
-With a wuf, wuf, diggity, diggity,
-Wuf, wuf, diggity, diggity,

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a cheese, cheese, squeaky, squeaky,
-Cheese, cheese, squeaky, squeaky,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want mouse,
-To chase all over this big ol' house,
-With a cheese, cheese, squeaky, squeaky,
-Cheese, cheese, squeaky, squeaky,

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a click, click, clackety, clackety,
-Click, click, clackety, clackety,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want shoe,
-In black, red, pink and baby blue,
-With a click, click, clackety, clackety,
-Click, click, clackety, clackety,

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a vroom, vroom, boomie, boomie,
-Vroom, vroom, boomie, boomie,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want car,
-So I can feel like a NASCAR star,
-With a vroom, vroom, boomie, boomie,
-Vroom, vroom, boomie, boomie,

-Santa, Santa, it's now up to you,
-To make a wish or two come true,
-But if you can't I will not sue,
-Cause' Christmas is not only about gifts, boo boo,
-It's about celebrating Jesus Christ's love for you,
-So Santa baby follow your heart thru and thru,
-And do whatever it is that you have to do,
-Cause' this family will always love and cherish you,
-Merry Christmas, Santa and a shout out to the Mrs., elves and reindeer too!

Santa, Santa

Verse 1:

-Leather pants crotch perspire,
-Hell no punk we won't hire,
-Boy, you a girl with that long-ass hair,
-Dude, screw you, I do what I want, I don't care,

Chorus:

-Cause' rock n' roll is my fashion,
-No code of conduct, rebel bastion,
-Like little black dress always gonna' be in style,
-Dude, I need hairspray and nail polish from that aisle,
-One size definitely does not fit all,
-Drives Tipper Gore and PMRC up a wall,
-That's why I will always love rock n' roll,
-Hail, hail, sex, drugs and rock n' roll,
-And don't forget the almighty stripper pole!

Verse 2:

-Guitar lessons electric guitar,
-Beautiful women expensive car,
-Love rocking out with my cock out on stage with many a fan,
-Screw concussion from getting hit in head with beer can,

Chorus:

-Cause' rock n' roll is my fashion,
-No code of conduct, rebel bastion,
-Like little black dress always gonna' be in style,
-Dude, I need hairspray and nail polish from that aisle,
-One size definitely does not fit all,
-Drives Tipper Gore and PMRC up a wall,
-That's why I will always love rock n' roll,
-Hail, hail, sex, drugs and rock n' roll,
-And don't forget the almighty stripper pole!

Verse 3:

-Belly shirt tight knits,
-Fake or real sized tits,
-Do you wanna' touch me there, Joan Jett,
-Open up and say ahh gonna' make you wet,

Chorus:

-Cause' rock n' roll is my fashion,
-No code of conduct, rebel bastion,
-Like little black dress always gonna' be in style,
-Dudette, I need hairspray and nail polish from that aisle,
-One size definitely does not fit all,
-Drives Tipper Gore and PMRC up a wall,
-That's why I will always love rock n' roll,
-Hail, hail, sex, drugs and rock n' roll,
-And don't forget the almighty stripper pole!

Verse 4:

-Ann Nancy love heart,
-Amateur chick group start,
-We got the beat Belinda Carlisle go, go, go,
-We comeback Tina Turner style yo, yo, yo,

Chorus:

-Cause' rock n' roll is my fashion,
-No code of conduct, rebel bastion,
-Like little black dress always gonna' be in style,
-Dudette, I need hairspray and nail polish from that aisle,
-One size definitely does not fit all,
-Drives Tipper Gore and PMRC up a wall,
-That's why I will always love rock n' roll,
-Hail, hail, sex, drugs and rock n' roll,
-And don't forget the almighty stripper pole!

Verse 5:

-Devil horns, metal manner,
-Jimi Hendrix, Star Spangled Banner,
-Counter culture, the flower child, Woodstock 69,
-Don't arrest me pig sign sign can't you read the sign,

Chorus:

-Cause' rock n' roll is my fashion,
-No code of conduct, rebel bastion,
-Like little black dress always gonna' be in style,
-Dude, I need hairspray and nail polish from that aisle,
-One size definitely does not fit all,
-Drives Tipper Gore and PMRC up a wall,
-That's why I will always love rock n' roll,
-Hail, hail, sex, drugs and rock n' roll,
-And don't forget the almighty stripper pole!

Verse 6:

-So haters before you throw a rolling stone,
-Don't treat rockers like they're from the twilight zone,
-Remember all people dance to a different and unique beat,
-Practice that then we'll all dance through life without two left feet,
-Just rock on rock on rock on rock on rock on rock on Bach Sebastian,
-Just do it rock n' roll style with a lot of piss and vinegar passion,

Chorus:

-Cause' rock n' roll is my fashion,
-No code of conduct, rebel bastion,
-Like little black dress always gonna' be in style,
-Dudette, I need hairspray and nail polish from that aisle,
-One size definitely does not fit all,
-Drives Tipper Gore and PMRC up a wall,
-That's why I will always love rock n' roll,
-Hail, hail, sex, drugs and rock n' roll,
-And don't forget the almighty stripper pole!

Rock n' Roll is my Fashion


About Me

Bio

I love black olives, the internet and cute shoes all in that order and don’t you forget it!

I hate guys who abuse women, beets and Omarosa from The Apprentice not necessarily in that order and don’t you forget that either!

I have been writing for over 25 years and I love it!

I have been creating prose photography for a couple of years now and I love it too!

CV/History

User has yet to complete this section.

Contact

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