Tina Knowledgeable Peden

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Tina Knowledgeable Peden

Verse 1:
-Sometimes hate to turn on the tv
-Open a magazine
-Because all I mostly see
-Are images of beautiful people
-That I know i’ll never be
-And what truly amazes me
-That deep down it don’t bother me cause……

Chorus:
-I’m so glad to be imperfect
-Ain’t no flies on me
-I don’t have the perfect body
-Ya’ know the ones you see on tv
-But at least I don’t have their worries
-That’s why it don’t really bother me
-Because i’m glad to be imperfect
-I’m happy to be just me

Verse 2:
-I ain’t going to lie
-So many times i’ve wanted the perfect body
-Have my pics in all the magazines
-Be put on a pedestal for all the world to see
-But I began to wonder if that would really make me happy
-Cause’ with perfection comes a different set of problems
-Ones I damn well don’t want or need
-That’s when I learned to accept my imperfections fully
-And found out it’s not so bad to be imperfect
-It’s okay to be plain ole’ fabulous me
-That’s why……

Chorus:
-I’m so glad to be imperfect
-Ain’t no flies on me
-I don’t have the perfect body
-Ya’ know the ones you see on tv
-But at least I don’t have their worries
-That’s why it don’t really bother me
-Because i’m glad to be imperfect
-I’m happy to be just me

IMPERFECT

Verse 1:

-Mom, I sit here with tears in my eyes

-Wondering for the millionth time, why oh why

-Why my needs always come second to one of your guys

Chorus:

-I don’t expect you to be perfect mommy

-I just want you to love and hold me, oh please

-Why can’t you be the mom that I need, oh please

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

Verse 2:

-Mom, i’m in so much pain, I don’t know what to do

-I feel so disrespected and rejected by you

-I only wish that you cared or had some kind of clue

-Of how much your abandonment has hurt me, left me battered and blue

(Chorus)

Verse 3:

-Mom I don’t expect you to bake me chocolate chip cookies

-Or constantly compliment and praise me

-But mom, I do expect you to make a commitment to me

-To show that you want a relationship with me, mommy

-It’s not really asking too much of you mommy

-For god’s sake, i’m your kid, I deserve this mommy

(Chorus)

Verse 4:

-Mom, I would never do this to someone I love

-I pray every night to God in heaven above

-That you’ll open your heart to me, cause’ it’s all I dream of

-And be the mom that I need, someone i’m really proud of

-Cause mom i’m not takin’ it anymore from you, i’ve had enough

-I love you, but I love myself more

-Enough to kiss you goodbye and show you the door

-But mom, I always hope that you’ll remember that……

Extended Chorus:

-I don’t expect you to be perfect mommy

-I just want you to love and hold me, oh please

-Why can’t you be the mom that I need, oh please

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-And if you ever grow up and wanna’ be a mama to me, mom please call me

A Mama To Me?

Verse 1:

Bottles and Luvs diapers everywhere,

Sleepless nights, disheveled hair,

Baby shakes rattle, baby shakes rattle,

Houseful of kids who luvs to tattle,

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

Verse 2:

My biological clock is going tick tock tick tock,

My obsession is reading aloud to my kids, "Hickory Dickory Dock,"

Sex, pregnancy and a whole bunch of recorded videotape,

Happy Halloween Mommy, how do I look all dressed up as Superman in my red cape,

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

Verse 3:

So big boy I hope you got the message and that I made myself crystal clear,

Okay Mama, let's make a baby is the only thing that I want to hear,

Because boy oh boy or should I say girl oh girl I am oh so ready for this,

Lover, take me in your arms and let's start this baby-making party off with a kiss!

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

I want a baby!

I Got Baby Fever!


Latest Uploads

Verse 1:
-Sometimes hate to turn on the tv
-Open a magazine
-Because all I mostly see
-Are images of beautiful people
-That I know i’ll never be
-And what truly amazes me
-That deep down it don’t bother me cause……

Chorus:
-I’m so glad to be imperfect
-Ain’t no flies on me
-I don’t have the perfect body
-Ya’ know the ones you see on tv
-But at least I don’t have their worries
-That’s why it don’t really bother me
-Because i’m glad to be imperfect
-I’m happy to be just me

Verse 2:
-I ain’t going to lie
-So many times i’ve wanted the perfect body
-Have my pics in all the magazines
-Be put on a pedestal for all the world to see
-But I began to wonder if that would really make me happy
-Cause’ with perfection comes a different set of problems
-Ones I damn well don’t want or need
-That’s when I learned to accept my imperfections fully
-And found out it’s not so bad to be imperfect
-It’s okay to be plain ole’ fabulous me
-That’s why……

Chorus:
-I’m so glad to be imperfect
-Ain’t no flies on me
-I don’t have the perfect body
-Ya’ know the ones you see on tv
-But at least I don’t have their worries
-That’s why it don’t really bother me
-Because i’m glad to be imperfect
-I’m happy to be just me

IMPERFECT

Verse 1:

-Mom, I sit here with tears in my eyes

-Wondering for the millionth time, why oh why

-Why my needs always come second to one of your guys

Chorus:

-I don’t expect you to be perfect mommy

-I just want you to love and hold me, oh please

-Why can’t you be the mom that I need, oh please

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

Verse 2:

-Mom, i’m in so much pain, I don’t know what to do

-I feel so disrespected and rejected by you

-I only wish that you cared or had some kind of clue

-Of how much your abandonment has hurt me, left me battered and blue

(Chorus)

Verse 3:

-Mom I don’t expect you to bake me chocolate chip cookies

-Or constantly compliment and praise me

-But mom, I do expect you to make a commitment to me

-To show that you want a relationship with me, mommy

-It’s not really asking too much of you mommy

-For god’s sake, i’m your kid, I deserve this mommy

(Chorus)

Verse 4:

-Mom, I would never do this to someone I love

-I pray every night to God in heaven above

-That you’ll open your heart to me, cause’ it’s all I dream of

-And be the mom that I need, someone i’m really proud of

-Cause mom i’m not takin’ it anymore from you, i’ve had enough

-I love you, but I love myself more

-Enough to kiss you goodbye and show you the door

-But mom, I always hope that you’ll remember that……

Extended Chorus:

-I don’t expect you to be perfect mommy

-I just want you to love and hold me, oh please

-Why can’t you be the mom that I need, oh please

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-And if you ever grow up and wanna’ be a mama to me, mom please call me

A Mama To Me?

Verse 1:

Bottles and Luvs diapers everywhere,

Sleepless nights, disheveled hair,

Baby shakes rattle, baby shakes rattle,

Houseful of kids who luvs to tattle,

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

Verse 2:

My biological clock is going tick tock tick tock,

My obsession is reading aloud to my kids, "Hickory Dickory Dock,"

Sex, pregnancy and a whole bunch of recorded videotape,

Happy Halloween Mommy, how do I look all dressed up as Superman in my red cape,

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

Verse 3:

So big boy I hope you got the message and that I made myself crystal clear,

Okay Mama, let's make a baby is the only thing that I want to hear,

Because boy oh boy or should I say girl oh girl I am oh so ready for this,

Lover, take me in your arms and let's start this baby-making party off with a kiss!

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

I want a baby!

I Got Baby Fever!

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

(Verse 1)

I was born in Des Moines Iowa on April 13, you see,

With lungs that would rival the biggest banshee,

Took me eight years to remember a birthday, oh golly gee,

And eight seconds to know one was not nuff for this girly,

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

(Verse 2)

After alot of thinking I discovered the key,

Have a birthday every six months rather simple really,

Double the cake, balloons, presents, merriment, oh whoopee,

Who cares about getting old, two birthdays for the rest of my life I definitely foresee,

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

(Verse 3)

My second birthday is on October 13 near Halloween, boo, scary,

Orange pumpkins, black cats, graveyards and an old horror movie,

Jason, Spiders, Michael Myers thrill and scare the hell outta’ me,

I got two birthdays with my name in frosting on the cake marquee,

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

(Verse 4)

So no matter whether you’re a human, animal, insect or tree,

You now have two birthdays just like everybody else and me,

Celebrate and enjoy every wonderful birthday memory,

Cause’ one day we will all die and won’t have this living luxury,

But don’t you fret but you accept what is to inevitably no doubt be,

Cherish this gift given to you by our God, your dad and your lovely mommy,

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

(Verse 5)

So no more worries about whether you’re sick, have to work or some other emergency,

You now have two birthdays a spare blessing to your loved ones and to thee,

Always remember every living thing was born, a most certain guarantee,

And whether it is your wish to celebrate quietly or with people and cherries jubilee,

You not only have one but two birthdays to do whatever you please to any degree,

Cause’ it is your day to have tea, build a teepee, hold a jamboree, climb a tree, be totally carefree!

Oh hallelujah, praise God, oh how I truly love him, my family and good ol’ fabulous me!

It is my birthday and noone on this planet does it quite like me, oh glorious glee!

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two Birthdays

Verse 1:
-Spectacular in the sheets
-Likes sex, is always in heat
-Big-breasted with fake spray tan
-No conscience, will steal your man
-Tramp stamp across her lower back
-Ha! Ha! She’s the first one to get whacked

Chorus:
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-Gloria Steinem, the feminist foe
-Without her, where’s a psycho killer to go
-Beyond stupid, magic 8 ball says it is decidedly so
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-We salute ya, you dumb little bimbo

Verse 2:
-When chased, she always falls down
-Stalked by a slow-walking clown
-She’s part of the coolest clique
-Killed early in the movie by a big-ass ice pick
-Constantly makes fun of an innocent virgin
-Ha! Ha! That’s her upper body stuffed in a trash bin

Chorus:
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-Gloria Steinem, the feminist foe
-Without her, where’s a psycho killer to go
-Beyond stupid, magic 8 ball says it is decidedly so
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-We salute ya, you dumb little bimbo

Verse 3:
-She’s needed to provide some jiggle
-Her antics provide plenty of giggles
-How can anyone be so dumb
-Don’t just stand there run, lose the bubble gum
-We will always love her cause’ she’s so dense
-So long honey, we only wish you had a little common sense

Chorus:
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-Gloria Steinem, the feminist foe
-Without her, where’s a psycho killer to go
-Beyond stupid, magic 8 ball says it is decidedly so
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-We salute ya, you dumb little bimbo

Horror Movie Ho

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a bang, bang, crashety, crashety,
-Bang, bang, crashety, crashety,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want drum,
-To play with while I loudly hum,
-With a bang, bang, crashety, crashety,
-Bang, bang, crashety, crashety,

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a cry, cry, pee pee, pee pee,
-Cry, cry, pee pee, pee pee,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want doll,
-To hold while I am at the mall,
-With a cry, cry, pee pee, pee pee,
-Cry, cry, pee pee, pee pee,

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a wuf, wuf, diggity, diggity,
-Wuf, wuf, diggity, diggity,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want bone,
-To bury along with Dad's new cell phone,
-With a wuf, wuf, diggity, diggity,
-Wuf, wuf, diggity, diggity,

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a cheese, cheese, squeaky, squeaky,
-Cheese, cheese, squeaky, squeaky,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want mouse,
-To chase all over this big ol' house,
-With a cheese, cheese, squeaky, squeaky,
-Cheese, cheese, squeaky, squeaky,

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a click, click, clackety, clackety,
-Click, click, clackety, clackety,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want shoe,
-In black, red, pink and baby blue,
-With a click, click, clackety, clackety,
-Click, click, clackety, clackety,

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a vroom, vroom, boomie, boomie,
-Vroom, vroom, boomie, boomie,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want car,
-So I can feel like a NASCAR star,
-With a vroom, vroom, boomie, boomie,
-Vroom, vroom, boomie, boomie,

-Santa, Santa, it's now up to you,
-To make a wish or two come true,
-But if you can't I will not sue,
-Cause' Christmas is not only about gifts, boo boo,
-It's about celebrating Jesus Christ's love for you,
-So Santa baby follow your heart thru and thru,
-And do whatever it is that you have to do,
-Cause' this family will always love and cherish you,
-Merry Christmas, Santa and a shout out to the Mrs., elves and reindeer too!

Santa, Santa

Verse 1:

-Leather pants crotch perspire,
-Hell no punk we won't hire,
-Boy, you a girl with that long-ass hair,
-Dude, screw you, I do what I want, I don't care,

Chorus:

-Cause' rock n' roll is my fashion,
-No code of conduct, rebel bastion,
-Like little black dress always gonna' be in style,
-Dude, I need hairspray and nail polish from that aisle,
-One size definitely does not fit all,
-Drives Tipper Gore and PMRC up a wall,
-That's why I will always love rock n' roll,
-Hail, hail, sex, drugs and rock n' roll,
-And don't forget the almighty stripper pole!

Verse 2:

-Guitar lessons electric guitar,
-Beautiful women expensive car,
-Love rocking out with my cock out on stage with many a fan,
-Screw concussion from getting hit in head with beer can,

Chorus:

-Cause' rock n' roll is my fashion,
-No code of conduct, rebel bastion,
-Like little black dress always gonna' be in style,
-Dude, I need hairspray and nail polish from that aisle,
-One size definitely does not fit all,
-Drives Tipper Gore and PMRC up a wall,
-That's why I will always love rock n' roll,
-Hail, hail, sex, drugs and rock n' roll,
-And don't forget the almighty stripper pole!

Verse 3:

-Belly shirt tight knits,
-Fake or real sized tits,
-Do you wanna' touch me there, Joan Jett,
-Open up and say ahh gonna' make you wet,

Chorus:

-Cause' rock n' roll is my fashion,
-No code of conduct, rebel bastion,
-Like little black dress always gonna' be in style,
-Dudette, I need hairspray and nail polish from that aisle,
-One size definitely does not fit all,
-Drives Tipper Gore and PMRC up a wall,
-That's why I will always love rock n' roll,
-Hail, hail, sex, drugs and rock n' roll,
-And don't forget the almighty stripper pole!

Verse 4:

-Ann Nancy love heart,
-Amateur chick group start,
-We got the beat Belinda Carlisle go, go, go,
-We comeback Tina Turner style yo, yo, yo,

Chorus:

-Cause' rock n' roll is my fashion,
-No code of conduct, rebel bastion,
-Like little black dress always gonna' be in style,
-Dudette, I need hairspray and nail polish from that aisle,
-One size definitely does not fit all,
-Drives Tipper Gore and PMRC up a wall,
-That's why I will always love rock n' roll,
-Hail, hail, sex, drugs and rock n' roll,
-And don't forget the almighty stripper pole!

Verse 5:

-Devil horns, metal manner,
-Jimi Hendrix, Star Spangled Banner,
-Counter culture, the flower child, Woodstock 69,
-Don't arrest me pig sign sign can't you read the sign,

Chorus:

-Cause' rock n' roll is my fashion,
-No code of conduct, rebel bastion,
-Like little black dress always gonna' be in style,
-Dude, I need hairspray and nail polish from that aisle,
-One size definitely does not fit all,
-Drives Tipper Gore and PMRC up a wall,
-That's why I will always love rock n' roll,
-Hail, hail, sex, drugs and rock n' roll,
-And don't forget the almighty stripper pole!

Verse 6:

-So haters before you throw a rolling stone,
-Don't treat rockers like they're from the twilight zone,
-Remember all people dance to a different and unique beat,
-Practice that then we'll all dance through life without two left feet,
-Just rock on rock on rock on rock on rock on rock on Bach Sebastian,
-Just do it rock n' roll style with a lot of piss and vinegar passion,

Chorus:

-Cause' rock n' roll is my fashion,
-No code of conduct, rebel bastion,
-Like little black dress always gonna' be in style,
-Dudette, I need hairspray and nail polish from that aisle,
-One size definitely does not fit all,
-Drives Tipper Gore and PMRC up a wall,
-That's why I will always love rock n' roll,
-Hail, hail, sex, drugs and rock n' roll,
-And don't forget the almighty stripper pole!

Rock n' Roll is my Fashion

Verse 1:

-More tea, my lady,
-Thank you, mummy,
-You look beautiful in that frock from my wardrobe, my lady,
-Thank you, mummy,
-Do you need to go to the loo, my lady,
-No thank you, mummy,
-Time to check the chocolate chip scones from the oven, my lady,
-Must you really, mummy,
-Do you want them to burn, my lady,
-Now you're really being cheeky, mummy,

Chorus:

-Scones and tea,
-Make me feel like aristocratic royalty,
-Having so much fun with mummy,
-Keep playing forever with me,
-At my fairy tale afternoon tea party,
-Build mummy/daughter cherished memory,
-In photo album for all the world to see,
-Happy Mother's Day, I love you mummy,

Verse 2:

-Do you want to do the waltz now, my lady,
-Yes I do, daddy,
-Do you want me to fight that big ol' dragon now, my lady,
-Yes I do, daddy,
-Do you want me to crown you with this pink tiara now, my lady,
-Yes I do, daddy,
-After all of this hard work can I get some hugs and kisses from you now, my lady,
-Is it something that you feel strongly about and truly need from me, daddy,
-Good god yes, my beloved and extremely cheeky little lady,
-Then I shall come forth and proceed but since we still have lots to do I will make it quick, daddy,

Chorus:

-Scones and tea,
-Make me feel like aristocratic royalty,
-Having so much fun with daddy,
-Keep playing forever with me,
-At my fairy tale afternoon tea party,
-Build daddy/daughter cherished memory,
-In photo album for all the world to see,
-Happy Father's Day, I love you daddy,

Scones and Tea

My Uploads

Verse 1:
-Sometimes hate to turn on the tv
-Open a magazine
-Because all I mostly see
-Are images of beautiful people
-That I know i’ll never be
-And what truly amazes me
-That deep down it don’t bother me cause……

Chorus:
-I’m so glad to be imperfect
-Ain’t no flies on me
-I don’t have the perfect body
-Ya’ know the ones you see on tv
-But at least I don’t have their worries
-That’s why it don’t really bother me
-Because i’m glad to be imperfect
-I’m happy to be just me

Verse 2:
-I ain’t going to lie
-So many times i’ve wanted the perfect body
-Have my pics in all the magazines
-Be put on a pedestal for all the world to see
-But I began to wonder if that would really make me happy
-Cause’ with perfection comes a different set of problems
-Ones I damn well don’t want or need
-That’s when I learned to accept my imperfections fully
-And found out it’s not so bad to be imperfect
-It’s okay to be plain ole’ fabulous me
-That’s why……

Chorus:
-I’m so glad to be imperfect
-Ain’t no flies on me
-I don’t have the perfect body
-Ya’ know the ones you see on tv
-But at least I don’t have their worries
-That’s why it don’t really bother me
-Because i’m glad to be imperfect
-I’m happy to be just me

IMPERFECT

Verse 1:

-Mom, I sit here with tears in my eyes

-Wondering for the millionth time, why oh why

-Why my needs always come second to one of your guys

Chorus:

-I don’t expect you to be perfect mommy

-I just want you to love and hold me, oh please

-Why can’t you be the mom that I need, oh please

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

Verse 2:

-Mom, i’m in so much pain, I don’t know what to do

-I feel so disrespected and rejected by you

-I only wish that you cared or had some kind of clue

-Of how much your abandonment has hurt me, left me battered and blue

(Chorus)

Verse 3:

-Mom I don’t expect you to bake me chocolate chip cookies

-Or constantly compliment and praise me

-But mom, I do expect you to make a commitment to me

-To show that you want a relationship with me, mommy

-It’s not really asking too much of you mommy

-For god’s sake, i’m your kid, I deserve this mommy

(Chorus)

Verse 4:

-Mom, I would never do this to someone I love

-I pray every night to God in heaven above

-That you’ll open your heart to me, cause’ it’s all I dream of

-And be the mom that I need, someone i’m really proud of

-Cause mom i’m not takin’ it anymore from you, i’ve had enough

-I love you, but I love myself more

-Enough to kiss you goodbye and show you the door

-But mom, I always hope that you’ll remember that……

Extended Chorus:

-I don’t expect you to be perfect mommy

-I just want you to love and hold me, oh please

-Why can’t you be the mom that I need, oh please

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-Why can’t you be a mama to me

-And if you ever grow up and wanna’ be a mama to me, mom please call me

A Mama To Me?

Verse 1:

Bottles and Luvs diapers everywhere,

Sleepless nights, disheveled hair,

Baby shakes rattle, baby shakes rattle,

Houseful of kids who luvs to tattle,

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

Verse 2:

My biological clock is going tick tock tick tock,

My obsession is reading aloud to my kids, "Hickory Dickory Dock,"

Sex, pregnancy and a whole bunch of recorded videotape,

Happy Halloween Mommy, how do I look all dressed up as Superman in my red cape,

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

Verse 3:

So big boy I hope you got the message and that I made myself crystal clear,

Okay Mama, let's make a baby is the only thing that I want to hear,

Because boy oh boy or should I say girl oh girl I am oh so ready for this,

Lover, take me in your arms and let's start this baby-making party off with a kiss!

Chorus:

Cause I got baby fever and there's only one cure,

Luvs diapers, the best in newborn and toddler couture,

Dr. Seuss prescribed me a healthy dose of "Cat in the Hat,"

No green eggs or ham just a beautiful baby cradled in my arms skinny or fat,

A maternal inferno is burning deep down inside of me,

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

And it will never stop until i'm a mommy!

I want a baby!

I Got Baby Fever!

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

(Verse 1)

I was born in Des Moines Iowa on April 13, you see,

With lungs that would rival the biggest banshee,

Took me eight years to remember a birthday, oh golly gee,

And eight seconds to know one was not nuff for this girly,

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

(Verse 2)

After alot of thinking I discovered the key,

Have a birthday every six months rather simple really,

Double the cake, balloons, presents, merriment, oh whoopee,

Who cares about getting old, two birthdays for the rest of my life I definitely foresee,

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

(Verse 3)

My second birthday is on October 13 near Halloween, boo, scary,

Orange pumpkins, black cats, graveyards and an old horror movie,

Jason, Spiders, Michael Myers thrill and scare the hell outta’ me,

I got two birthdays with my name in frosting on the cake marquee,

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

(Verse 4)

So no matter whether you’re a human, animal, insect or tree,

You now have two birthdays just like everybody else and me,

Celebrate and enjoy every wonderful birthday memory,

Cause’ one day we will all die and won’t have this living luxury,

But don’t you fret but you accept what is to inevitably no doubt be,

Cherish this gift given to you by our God, your dad and your lovely mommy,

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

(Verse 5)

So no more worries about whether you’re sick, have to work or some other emergency,

You now have two birthdays a spare blessing to your loved ones and to thee,

Always remember every living thing was born, a most certain guarantee,

And whether it is your wish to celebrate quietly or with people and cherries jubilee,

You not only have one but two birthdays to do whatever you please to any degree,

Cause’ it is your day to have tea, build a teepee, hold a jamboree, climb a tree, be totally carefree!

Oh hallelujah, praise God, oh how I truly love him, my family and good ol’ fabulous me!

It is my birthday and noone on this planet does it quite like me, oh glorious glee!

(Chorus)

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two birthdays, 1 – 2 – glee!

One birthday not nuff for me!

Two Birthdays

Verse 1:
-Spectacular in the sheets
-Likes sex, is always in heat
-Big-breasted with fake spray tan
-No conscience, will steal your man
-Tramp stamp across her lower back
-Ha! Ha! She’s the first one to get whacked

Chorus:
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-Gloria Steinem, the feminist foe
-Without her, where’s a psycho killer to go
-Beyond stupid, magic 8 ball says it is decidedly so
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-We salute ya, you dumb little bimbo

Verse 2:
-When chased, she always falls down
-Stalked by a slow-walking clown
-She’s part of the coolest clique
-Killed early in the movie by a big-ass ice pick
-Constantly makes fun of an innocent virgin
-Ha! Ha! That’s her upper body stuffed in a trash bin

Chorus:
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-Gloria Steinem, the feminist foe
-Without her, where’s a psycho killer to go
-Beyond stupid, magic 8 ball says it is decidedly so
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-We salute ya, you dumb little bimbo

Verse 3:
-She’s needed to provide some jiggle
-Her antics provide plenty of giggles
-How can anyone be so dumb
-Don’t just stand there run, lose the bubble gum
-We will always love her cause’ she’s so dense
-So long honey, we only wish you had a little common sense

Chorus:
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-Gloria Steinem, the feminist foe
-Without her, where’s a psycho killer to go
-Beyond stupid, magic 8 ball says it is decidedly so
-So all hail the horror movie ho
-We salute ya, you dumb little bimbo

Horror Movie Ho

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a bang, bang, crashety, crashety,
-Bang, bang, crashety, crashety,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want drum,
-To play with while I loudly hum,
-With a bang, bang, crashety, crashety,
-Bang, bang, crashety, crashety,

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a cry, cry, pee pee, pee pee,
-Cry, cry, pee pee, pee pee,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want doll,
-To hold while I am at the mall,
-With a cry, cry, pee pee, pee pee,
-Cry, cry, pee pee, pee pee,

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a wuf, wuf, diggity, diggity,
-Wuf, wuf, diggity, diggity,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want bone,
-To bury along with Dad's new cell phone,
-With a wuf, wuf, diggity, diggity,
-Wuf, wuf, diggity, diggity,

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a cheese, cheese, squeaky, squeaky,
-Cheese, cheese, squeaky, squeaky,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want mouse,
-To chase all over this big ol' house,
-With a cheese, cheese, squeaky, squeaky,
-Cheese, cheese, squeaky, squeaky,

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a click, click, clackety, clackety,
-Click, click, clackety, clackety,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want shoe,
-In black, red, pink and baby blue,
-With a click, click, clackety, clackety,
-Click, click, clackety, clackety,

-Santa, Santa, I love you,
-Make my Christmas wish come true,
-With a vroom, vroom, boomie, boomie,
-Vroom, vroom, boomie, boomie,

-Santa, Santa,
-I want car,
-So I can feel like a NASCAR star,
-With a vroom, vroom, boomie, boomie,
-Vroom, vroom, boomie, boomie,

-Santa, Santa, it's now up to you,
-To make a wish or two come true,
-But if you can't I will not sue,
-Cause' Christmas is not only about gifts, boo boo,
-It's about celebrating Jesus Christ's love for you,
-So Santa baby follow your heart thru and thru,
-And do whatever it is that you have to do,
-Cause' this family will always love and cherish you,
-Merry Christmas, Santa and a shout out to the Mrs., elves and reindeer too!

Santa, Santa


About Me

Bio

I love black olives, the internet and cute shoes all in that order and don’t you forget it!

I hate guys who abuse women, beets and Omarosa from The Apprentice not necessarily in that order and don’t you forget that either!

I have been writing for over 25 years and I love it!

I have been creating prose photography for a couple of years now and I love it too!

CV/History

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