Christopher Rolls (Christopher T. Brandwijk)

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Christopher T. Brandwijk

You think I’m here.
Here in the world as you see me walk.
I can tell you.
I can tell you, that I’m not.
I’m so tired, so tired of this life.
So tired, of this life that I’ve got.
It doesn’t matter where I am,
It doesn’t matter where I stand.
I’m so tired,
So tired of it all.

These days, they fade away.
Time ticks by and my brain makes memories.
It makes memories when I’m not there.
Need to step out to make my brain become clear.

Stuck in this fog.
My mind seems so clogged.
Been pushing through these thoughts.
These thoughts of giving up or, maybe not.
Where have I gone,
I see your lips speaks and hear myself talk.
But I’m gone, I’m gone.
So tired, that I’m gone.

These days, they fade away.
Time ticks by and my brain makes memories.
It makes memories when I’m not there.
Need to step out to make my brain become clear.

I need to let go,
Let these days just role.
In a rush on the go, I can’t think slow.
Got my head in fifth gear,
on my way to the seventh.
Seventh heaven, outer space.
Dead and gone, out of place
I’m done with this rat race.

These days, they fade away.
Time ticks by and my brain makes memories.
It makes memories when I’m not there.
Need to step out to make my brain become clear.

Doesn’t matter what I do
Doesn’t matter where I am
Doesn’t matter who’s with me.
I’m tired,
I’m so tired,
I’m so tired of this place.

I’m tired,
I’m so tired,
I’m so tired of this place.

Tired

If I love you, I love you,
I don’t care what you’ve done.
You could be a thief or a killer.
As long as it’s nothing with animals or children, it’s on.
We can’t pick and choose who makes our hearts jump.
A little louder, a little quicker, a little harder, little lock-picker, let’s run.
As long as you love me and you’re not set in your ways.
The game that is life, is something we can still play.

If all eyes are on me, your eyes are on me, then all eyes are on me, I’ll be fine.
If all eyes are on you, my eyes are on you, then all eyes are on you, you’ll be fine.
If all eyes are on me, your eyes are on me, then all eyes are on me, I’ll be fine.
If all eyes are on you, my eyes are on you, then all eyes are on you, you’ll be fine.

If I love you, I love you.
I don’t care what you’ve done.
You could be a little gun slinger, drug dealer
As long as it’s nothing with animals or children, I’m on.
We can’t pick and choose who makes our hearts jump.
A little louder, a little quicker, a little harder, little lock-picker, let’s run.
As long as you love me and you’re not set in your ways.
We can make fxxx till the sun comes up.

If all eyes are on me, your eyes are on me, then all eyes are on me, I’ll be fine.
If all eyes are on you, my eyes are on you, then all eyes are on you, you’ll be fine.
If all eyes are on me, your eyes are on me, then all eyes are on me, I’ll be fine.
If all eyes are on you, my eyes are on you, then all eyes are on you, you’ll be fine.

Because no-one else matters, no-one else matters.
Because nothing else matters, nothing else matters.
Nothing else matters, to me.

All eyes

Get me out,

If you want me, get me.
I got you, because I want you.
Hold me, I’ll hold you.
These days is what we get through.

Been holding this in, been spinning on this globe.
It’s like my head has been bathing in gold, blinding in the sun.
Waiting for the night to come so you know what you hold.
From the darkness comes the light, to each their own.
I own my life, even if I’m not in control.
Out of control I’m sprung, till the spring pops and I’m gone.
Spinning into deep space, losing my deep ways.
Losing my mind, with these billions listening to radio airplay.
I’ve got more game than I can count, not talking about what’s on my steam account.
But hey, come on over, I’ll have a listen to what you have to say,
As long as we end up in bed and we have some skin on skin bed play.
Burning up in the nightlife, heated head, calling for a crowd.
Hear me now, as I want to get out.
Come and get me out of here, I love you, out loud.

If you want me, get me.
I got you, because I want you.
Hold me, I’ll hold you.
These days is how we get through.

We all make mistakes, not all by our own hands.
From no-man’s-land to songs of the dead.
We need to cross our past and future to see the present.
You know what I’ve been on, with knowledge come lessons,
Learned ways and dealings of opportunities.
With opportunity comes temptation, the corrupt mind is easily awakened.
The corrupt mind can fall so easy, for meaningless numbers and flashy garbage.
Just for them to end up in the mess and the carnage.
So keep your head straight and know what you’re aiming for.
Keep your eyes on your own path, your own ways and explore.
Open your mind to those who reach right in, look in their eyes and feel it within.
Jump into the deep if you feel it in your stomach, because that is what love is.
And there is no real living, if you’re living without it.
There is no real living, if you’re living without it.

If you want me, get me.
I got you, because I want you.
Hold me, I’ll hold you.
These days is how we get through.

Life, life as we know it.
We get through, life, life as we know it.
If you hold me, I’ll hold you.
If you’ve got me, I’ve got you.
I’ve got you.

Get me out


Latest Uploads

You think I’m here.
Here in the world as you see me walk.
I can tell you.
I can tell you, that I’m not.
I’m so tired, so tired of this life.
So tired, of this life that I’ve got.
It doesn’t matter where I am,
It doesn’t matter where I stand.
I’m so tired,
So tired of it all.

These days, they fade away.
Time ticks by and my brain makes memories.
It makes memories when I’m not there.
Need to step out to make my brain become clear.

Stuck in this fog.
My mind seems so clogged.
Been pushing through these thoughts.
These thoughts of giving up or, maybe not.
Where have I gone,
I see your lips speaks and hear myself talk.
But I’m gone, I’m gone.
So tired, that I’m gone.

These days, they fade away.
Time ticks by and my brain makes memories.
It makes memories when I’m not there.
Need to step out to make my brain become clear.

I need to let go,
Let these days just role.
In a rush on the go, I can’t think slow.
Got my head in fifth gear,
on my way to the seventh.
Seventh heaven, outer space.
Dead and gone, out of place
I’m done with this rat race.

These days, they fade away.
Time ticks by and my brain makes memories.
It makes memories when I’m not there.
Need to step out to make my brain become clear.

Doesn’t matter what I do
Doesn’t matter where I am
Doesn’t matter who’s with me.
I’m tired,
I’m so tired,
I’m so tired of this place.

I’m tired,
I’m so tired,
I’m so tired of this place.

Tired

If I love you, I love you,
I don’t care what you’ve done.
You could be a thief or a killer.
As long as it’s nothing with animals or children, it’s on.
We can’t pick and choose who makes our hearts jump.
A little louder, a little quicker, a little harder, little lock-picker, let’s run.
As long as you love me and you’re not set in your ways.
The game that is life, is something we can still play.

If all eyes are on me, your eyes are on me, then all eyes are on me, I’ll be fine.
If all eyes are on you, my eyes are on you, then all eyes are on you, you’ll be fine.
If all eyes are on me, your eyes are on me, then all eyes are on me, I’ll be fine.
If all eyes are on you, my eyes are on you, then all eyes are on you, you’ll be fine.

If I love you, I love you.
I don’t care what you’ve done.
You could be a little gun slinger, drug dealer
As long as it’s nothing with animals or children, I’m on.
We can’t pick and choose who makes our hearts jump.
A little louder, a little quicker, a little harder, little lock-picker, let’s run.
As long as you love me and you’re not set in your ways.
We can make fxxx till the sun comes up.

If all eyes are on me, your eyes are on me, then all eyes are on me, I’ll be fine.
If all eyes are on you, my eyes are on you, then all eyes are on you, you’ll be fine.
If all eyes are on me, your eyes are on me, then all eyes are on me, I’ll be fine.
If all eyes are on you, my eyes are on you, then all eyes are on you, you’ll be fine.

Because no-one else matters, no-one else matters.
Because nothing else matters, nothing else matters.
Nothing else matters, to me.

All eyes

Get me out,

If you want me, get me.
I got you, because I want you.
Hold me, I’ll hold you.
These days is what we get through.

Been holding this in, been spinning on this globe.
It’s like my head has been bathing in gold, blinding in the sun.
Waiting for the night to come so you know what you hold.
From the darkness comes the light, to each their own.
I own my life, even if I’m not in control.
Out of control I’m sprung, till the spring pops and I’m gone.
Spinning into deep space, losing my deep ways.
Losing my mind, with these billions listening to radio airplay.
I’ve got more game than I can count, not talking about what’s on my steam account.
But hey, come on over, I’ll have a listen to what you have to say,
As long as we end up in bed and we have some skin on skin bed play.
Burning up in the nightlife, heated head, calling for a crowd.
Hear me now, as I want to get out.
Come and get me out of here, I love you, out loud.

If you want me, get me.
I got you, because I want you.
Hold me, I’ll hold you.
These days is how we get through.

We all make mistakes, not all by our own hands.
From no-man’s-land to songs of the dead.
We need to cross our past and future to see the present.
You know what I’ve been on, with knowledge come lessons,
Learned ways and dealings of opportunities.
With opportunity comes temptation, the corrupt mind is easily awakened.
The corrupt mind can fall so easy, for meaningless numbers and flashy garbage.
Just for them to end up in the mess and the carnage.
So keep your head straight and know what you’re aiming for.
Keep your eyes on your own path, your own ways and explore.
Open your mind to those who reach right in, look in their eyes and feel it within.
Jump into the deep if you feel it in your stomach, because that is what love is.
And there is no real living, if you’re living without it.
There is no real living, if you’re living without it.

If you want me, get me.
I got you, because I want you.
Hold me, I’ll hold you.
These days is how we get through.

Life, life as we know it.
We get through, life, life as we know it.
If you hold me, I’ll hold you.
If you’ve got me, I’ve got you.
I’ve got you.

Get me out

Hello my demons, have you come to drag me down.
I know a wicked face, when I see one,
Have you come to staple the nails into my coffin.
Have you come to set me on my way.
Razorblade kiss goodbye I’ll be hanging from a noose.
Now don’t be shy, we all have to say goodbye.
Hello my demons, I won’t be seeing you on the other side.

When my time comes, this is all that’ll be left of me.
All that remains will lay in wake of my lonesome days.
As my corpse decays, the last will be my brightest.
Will be my brightest, my last will be my brightest of days.

Hello my demons, have you come to drag me down.
I know a wicked face, when I see one.
Have you come to tell me how wrong I am, again.
Have you come to tell me, I should let some light in.
Broken hearted because of disappointment.
Now don’t be shy, we all have to say goodbye.
Hello demons, I won’t be seeing you on the other side.

When the time comes, this is all that’ll be left of me.
All that remains will lay in wake of my lonesome days.
As my corpse decays, the last will be my brightest.
Will be my brightest, my last will be my brightest of days.

Hello my demons, have you come to build me up.
Push your wicked schemes, to hold me high to break me down.
Have you come to whisper sweet words and ways to walk.
Have you come to tell me where I went wrong and your way is all.
You’ll leave me broken and betrayed.
Leave me hanging until my last breath escapes me.
Hello my demons, have you come to let me fall.

We all will wonder, what lays within our hearts.
We all will wonder, what lays within our mind.
We all will wonder, what will ever truly matter.
What I can tell you, is you’ll always matter to me.

When the time comes, this is all that’ll be left of me.
All that remains will lay in wake of my lonesome days.
As my corpse decays, the last will be my brightest.
Will be my brightest, my last will be my brightest of days.

My last will be my brightest of days.

Inner conversation

Dear God, what have I done.
I was looking for an explanation,
But all I needed was salvation
Oh dear God, what have I done.

Oh dear God, where have I gone.
I've been looking in all the wrong places, been getting myself stuck like mice in mazes.
Dear god, where have I gone.

I've been running, my whole life.
From myself and my past.
All the answesr that lay within me,
I've blinded myself from these truths.
Can I be a saviour when all that surround me are sinners.
Sell myself to the devil and make them believers.

Dear God, where is the light.
I've come to bare witness to this birth of Christ.
Carry his name and bathe in his love.
Oh dear God, where is the light.

Oh dear God, where is my path.
I've wandered the landscapes in my head, walked the lands and even woke up from the dead.
Dear God, where is my path.

I've come all this way to find you,
Come all this way to find myself.
Here I can't deny you,
Yet here you can't show yourself.
For I've come this far, it'll never be far enough.
Sell myself to the devil and make them believers.

In the hallways of doubt, in the rain of sadness.
This dwindling light, with a flicker of damness.
There is a stride, with my head held high.
I will shed my skin and lose all I was.

Salvation

I’ve drowned,
In my sorrow,
For far too long
But I’m holding, for now.

Can I say,
That I need you,
Here today,
To get me through,
Now I know,
That I,
Feel like I’m drowning,
Again.

But I feel
That the darkest, days
Have slipped, away
Now I take my last breath, scream out loud
I’m alive, again.

Time,
As it stands,
It heals my wounds,
As I pretend, I’m fine
Knowing, that I’ll be
There some day, holding you
In my arms
At last

But I feel
That the darkest, days
Have slipped, away
Now I take my last breath, scream out loud.
I’m alive, again

So can you see me,
Here,
Standing in my own,
Grave,
Taking this last piece of my heart,
And placing it in,
The ground

But I feel
That the darkest, days
Have slipped, away
Now I take my last breath, scream out loud.
I, am, dead

Rebirth

It seems like I’ve lived to die,
Placing my foot on the stairs, leading straight to my grave.
While I’m standing out in the rain,
Out, in the game, having fun with blank faces, drinking it up
Out in the clubs.
Me just out on the streets, misbehaving,
Dead up on my feet, city lights have caught my eyes.
Now the night comes, drunk and weeded up.
I’m just wishing for that someone to pick me up.
Pick me up.

Because

I’ve been walking on this one way road,
Alone now, alone now, left in the rain
I’ve been walking on this dead end street,
For too long now, to long, for far too long.

Now.

It’s clear that, my heart’s been skipping beats,
Beaten up, torn apart, but I’m still on my feet.
I’ve got this life, this love, but I’ve wasted my luck.
So goodbye, to my sanity.
Dead and gone, all along, questioning if I’ve been here all along.
Now I don’t know,
What the time is, but I’ve got to move on
Where to go, what to do
Which shows, what act,
What act are we on.

Because

I’ve been walking on this one way road,
Alone now, alone now, left in the rain
I’ve been walking on this dead end street,
For too long now, to long, for far too long.

Now.

Now that I’ve been away, locked up still, in my own mind.
Now that I’ve seen, the inside I, I’m still locked up, deep in my mind.
And now that I see, I’m walking straight to my grave.
I’ve got to take, another way, before I waste away.

Goodbye Road

There it is,
There it is,
A thought of something,
I don’t know.
I have grown,
I have become,
I’ve come and gone,
Now I’m numb, now I’m numb, now I’m numb.

For all to see,
A face full of emotions, but none really live in me.
Sometimes I feel pain, because I’m addicted to it.
I stretch myself thin, you can see right through.
Have you ever felt this way?
Have you ever felt this way?
Have you ever felt this way?

I’m sorry for, what I’ve become.
Sang in tune, now I’m deadly outrun.
My life is over, this is the end,
My friend, my friend.

Isolated, deprived of human interacting,
I’m in my modern cave, low lights, deadening doubts.
I won’t believe, not a single thing, all that I aim for, is to be.
To be more than I am and to be more than I was.
Now that time has run out, and the blinds are shady.
I can’t take another step, without my dearest dime.

I’m crazy, lost my mind, insane.
Maybe I’m just too out of sync and I unravelled in your insanities.
Maybe, it’s you, maybe it’s me, but we can all agree, let us be.

Numb

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About Me

Bio

Hello,

My name's Christopher T. Brandwijk and I was born in the netherlands.
I've got a couple bad things going for me and also some good.
I'm interested in life and all that has to do with life and the world and this is my drive.

I know it's short but you are free to ask my anything,

With love,

christopher

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