Hey world look at me, I’m just so wide awoke.
You won’t believe I used to be an ordinary bloke.
I’m just gold, and everybody seems to think I’m hip.
Here’s why I’m hot and how I got a halo that won’t slip.
I’ll follow any cause, I’ll jump on any wagon,
I’m a keyboard warrior! I’m a Soapbox dragon!
I only look into the past to find an easy target.
Rub out the context of their deeds, and their head’s in a basket.
I never learnt much History, a waste of time I find,
I’ll re-adjust it anyway to suit what’s in my mind.
Working hard or checking facts I always give a miss.
At least I prove to wiser folk that ignorance is bliss.
Would you like to waste some time and join my fellow thinkers?
Just put your fingers in your ears and wear a pair of blinkers.

No era that existed before I ever blustered,
Ever had a thing to say, or ever cut the mustard.
Plato he could think a bit, but couldn’t even type.
Da Vinci wasn’t bad, but he never mastered hype!
Newton may have worked out sums for gravity and motion,
That’s just a load of scribble, so why all the commotion?
They say that Oscar Wilde may have had some wit,
But he never wrote a pop song that became a hit.
Not even sure that Churchill really had a clue.
I heard he had no Instagram and only one tattoo!
You couldn’t fill a raindrop with what I have to show,
And you could fill an ocean with what I’ll never know.
But though I have no wisdom, no critic could detect,
You can bet I’ll always be politically correct.

Now let me look at what is hot, this week in the news.
You won’t have very long to wait before I type my views.
On one thing I am careful, before I make my choice,
make sure the wagon’s rolling before I add my voice.
No need to wait for any grain of truth to emerge,
by then my admiration’s already had its surge.
And anyway my moral guns will be on something new,
maybe something juicer that really might be true!
I love it when those of merit make the smallest blunder,
I’ll be the first to make it worse and give them all my thunder.
I can pick on anything to make it look like crime.
I can make a saint look like a ball of slime.
I’ll make it look like what they do causes so much pain,
But manage not to think like that while snorting my cocaine.

Sincerity is nothing, novelty is all,
I check real hard every trend, make sure I’m on the ball.
Am I on the Left, or am I on the Right?
Depends which way the wind blows, and where the future’s bright.
On Facebook and on Twitter you’ll see me join the cause.
Get lost up my own arse, hear only the applause.
I look at Harvey Weinstein, I spit upon his name.
Just hope it’s not discovered, I’ve acted just the same.
I love to cause more protests, just look what I inspire.
I know for sure it’s not my car that’ll be on fire!
I love to shout at problems, I love to moan and whine,
but if there’s an actual answer, you can bet it won’t be mine.
Help to make it manifest? You must think I’m berserk.
I never pull my finger out, that’s not woke, that’s work!

You heard it on the news today that you can stay outside.
If you don’t stay alert though, you’ll join those that have died.
Every time you meet someone and stand a bit too close,
there’s a risk you’ll give or take a deadly viral dose.
Even though the lockdown rules have begun to ease,
until we get a vaccine we’re ruled by this disease.
The virus lives on people and whatever’s felt their touch.
You have to stay away from each to slip its deadly clutch.
It’s not your fault the enemy can ride upon your skin,
to bring such lethal misery to friends and all your kin.
The best way to avoid all that is listen to the science.
Always use your common sense and give it best compliance.

Stay alert at all times.
Death by Covid’s such a crime.
Avoid all others, don’t collide.
That really could be suicide.
Rules alone are no defence,
if people don’t use common sense.
Sneer and think that they’re a laugh,
that might be your epitaph.

The heroes of the hour are the doctors and the nurses.
Crowd together stupidly and you will earn their curses.
Right now you may feel OK, bright and even frisky,
but every time you take a chance their work becomes more risky.
Don’t assume that if you’re hit, the symptoms will be mild.
Plenty lie in agony similarly beguiled.
So when you’re out to do your shop or travelling to work,
keep well clear of others, that’s where most virus lurks.
When it looks quite difficult to keep yourself apart,
move away or work at home, try and play it smart.
When crowded and there’s no escape, it’s good to wear a mask,
to cut down what we each transmit, that’s not a lot to ask.

Stay alert at all times.
Track and trace is on our side.
If you have symptoms, go on line,
or maybe just ring 119.
Test positive, you’re told what to,
just like those who’ve been near you.
This isolates the fresh infected,
before their symptoms are detected.

You’re much more free to go out now, but exercise due care.
There’s just so many places the virus hides out there.
Stay well clear of non-cohabits, even if attractive.
Just pretend that all of them are highly radioactive.
Be like Prudence Wisdom, not like Jack the Lad,
or you or someone that you love will soon be more than sad.
Many types of surface hide a hidden danger.
Virus might have landed there, off friends or a stranger.
It stays alive on metal, on plastic and on wood,
so when you get home, wash your hands, and use that soap real good!

Stay alert at all times.
This’ll never be an easy ride.
It’s tough to see but never touch,
all of those we love so much,
but holding out a little more,
is the only way to win this war.
Let’s save each other from the grave,
and lessen any second wave.

You heard it on the news today that you must stay indoors.
That idea might save your life, so give it some applause.
Every time you meet someone and stand a bit too close,
there’s a risk you’ll give or take a deadly viral dose.
It’s very hard to hold or dodge every cough or sneeze,
and harder still to avoid the lightest touch or squeeze.
The virus lives on people and whatever’s felt their touch.
You have to stay away from each to slip its deadly clutch.
It’s not your fault the enemy can ride upon your skin,
to bring such lethal misery to friends and all your kin.
The best way to avoid all that, I know it’s quite a bore,
is to put your life on hold and stay behind your door.

Stay at home, don’t go outside.
Why go and risk the viral tide?
That really could be suicide.
That’s why we have to stay inside.
If there’s real need to go out there,
please make sure you take good care.
But pause to carefully decide,
if you really need to go outside.


The heroes of the hour are the doctors and the nurses.
Go outside without real need and you will earn their curses.
Right now you may feel OK, bright and even frisky,
but every time you take a chance their work becomes more risky.
Don’t assume that if you’re hit, the symptoms will be mild.
Plenty lie in agony similarly beguiled.
So don’t step out just to shop and satisfy your greed.
Save your legs, buy just enough of what you really need.
While we’re on the subject, here’s an oath to keep.
Never make a panic buy, don’t supermarket sweep.
Think of those with greater need. Help them to be strong.
We all just have to ride this out till vaccines come along.

Stay at home, don’t go outside.
Don’t join the ranks that have died.
Making any careless stride,
just adds to the deadly tide.
No-one likes to take instruction,
but this could save you from destruction.
The facts on this can’t be denied.
It’s just more safe to stay inside.

When you really must go out, exercise due care.
There’s just so many places the virus hides out there.
Stay well clear of everyone, even if attractive.
Just pretend that everybody’s highly radioactive.
Be like Prudence Wisdom, not like Jack the Lad,
or you or someone that you love will soon be more than sad.
Many types of surface hide a hidden danger.
Virus might have landed there, off friends or a stranger.
It stays alive on metal, on plastic and on wood.
So when you get home, wash your hands, and use that soap real good!

Stay at home, don’t go outside, there’s plenty you can do inside.
Boredom you can override, the web can take us all worldwide.
Try new things, have a dabble. Finished that? Get out the Scrabble.
Hopefully this song’s a guide, to cope with staying safe inside.

In case you hadn’t noticed we’re all gonna die
Unless we try and change things, here’s the reason why
Many who would lead us don’t care for us at all,
They’re happy with the status quo, they’re having such a ball
We need new types of leaders, who understand our call
To reverse climate change, and not just at a crawl
Too many things are happening that cannot be denied,
So let’s give Mother Nature back her carbon dioxide.
Subsidise the lumberjacks to plant a zillion trees
Incentivise the restock and the clean up of our seas
If we don’t stand together and make this go worldwide
We’ll all just tumble into accidental suicide.

Accidental suicide, our eyes and ears are open wide
But those on high are occupied, with taking every easy ride
We don’t need more seduction, that’s the path to our destruction.
Admit that we are on the tide, of accidental suicide


Delaying longer just to see more evidence revealed
Will absolutely guarantee our worst fate is sealed
Waiting till the temperature goes up any higher
Will just engulf the forests in never ending fire.
We’re on the edge of tipping point, a very sorry state
But if we pull our finger out, it may not be too late
Ignore the silly fools out there, the real old dinosaurs
They won’t believe the seas can rise till water’s at their door.
Don’t try to claim news is fake or maybe just hysteria
Or very soon the air will have less O2 than bacteria
Stop ignoring all the truth, and don’t try to deceive us
It’s our aim to save the Earth, not turn it into Venus!

Accidental suicide, halfway there and can’t decide
How to replace what has died, with GDP our only guide
What’s the point of any wealth gained at the expense of health
That’s the real cyanide in accidental suicide


Come on now you billionaires, we want you to dig deep
Starting up the best ideas isn’t always cheap.
Don’t waste it all on diamonds, or some football team
Redirect your money to help us with our dream.
You’ll go down in history and be remembered well
Along with all the things you did to save us all from hell
Celebrities and superstars will all wear your tattoo
Your name will be on buildings, and surely statues too
Even on your deathbed, you won’t feel so blue
Seeing all the children play with toys that look like you


Accidental suicide, there’s no place that we can hide,
From what is going on outside, already going planet wide
We’re authors of our own destruction
So here’s a very safe assumption
Only we can save ourselves, from accidental suicide.